Wedding Woes

Don't let him gaslight you, girl.

Dear Prudence,

I was with “Teddy” for three years. In that time, I caught him texting an ex, flirting with co-workers, hanging out with another ex, giving his number to female customers, and cheating on me with his classmate. Each time I caught him, he promised he would change. After the last straw, I kicked him out but stayed in touch. In every other aspect, he is a great person, but a bad boyfriend. Two years after our breakup I still periodically catch him telling stupid lies and I told him our weekly lunches and regular texting sessions were over. He got upset and told me it was my fault because I never gave him another “real chance” to get back together. I feel I did the right thing, but he always manages to make me feel bad. Was I wrong to cut him out?

—Breakup Sequel

Re: Don't let him gaslight you, girl.

  • banana468 said:
    mrsconn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,

    I was with “Teddy” for three years. In that time, I caught him texting an ex, flirting with co-workers, hanging out with another ex, giving his number to female customers, and cheating on me with his classmate. Each time I caught him, he promised he would change. After the last straw, I kicked him out but stayed in touch. In every other aspect, he is a great person, but a bad boyfriend. Two years after our breakup I still periodically catch him telling stupid lies and I told him our weekly lunches and regular texting sessions were over. He got upset and told me it was my fault because I never gave him another “real chance” to get back together. I feel I did the right thing, but he always manages to make me feel bad. Was I wrong to cut him out?

    —Breakup Sequel

    If Teddy were an ice cream flavor, it would be pralines and dick.  


    Image result for hilarious laughing gif
    charlotte989875
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    banana468 said:
    mrsconn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,

    I was with “Teddy” for three years. In that time, I caught him texting an ex, flirting with co-workers, hanging out with another ex, giving his number to female customers, and cheating on me with his classmate. Each time I caught him, he promised he would change. After the last straw, I kicked him out but stayed in touch. In every other aspect, he is a great person, but a bad boyfriend. Two years after our breakup I still periodically catch him telling stupid lies and I told him our weekly lunches and regular texting sessions were over. He got upset and told me it was my fault because I never gave him another “real chance” to get back together. I feel I did the right thing, but he always manages to make me feel bad. Was I wrong to cut him out?

    —Breakup Sequel

    If Teddy were an ice cream flavor, it would be pralines and dick.  






    Anniversary
    OurWildKingdom
  • banana468 said:
    mrsconn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,

    I was with “Teddy” for three years. In that time, I caught him texting an ex, flirting with co-workers, hanging out with another ex, giving his number to female customers, and cheating on me with his classmate. Each time I caught him, he promised he would change. After the last straw, I kicked him out but stayed in touch. In every other aspect, he is a great person, but a bad boyfriend. Two years after our breakup I still periodically catch him telling stupid lies and I told him our weekly lunches and regular texting sessions were over. He got upset and told me it was my fault because I never gave him another “real chance” to get back together. I feel I did the right thing, but he always manages to make me feel bad. Was I wrong to cut him out?

    —Breakup Sequel

    If Teddy were an ice cream flavor, it would be pralines and dick.  


    With that salty after taste
    baconsmomOurWildKingdomMNNEBridelevioosa
  • short+sassyshort+sassy
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited August 10

    He was a jerk b/f.  You stayed friends with him for some unknown reason.  He makes you feel bad and still lies over nothing, so you ended the friendship.

    Yeah, sounds about right.  Stop second guessing yourself, LW.

    And I would have replied, "Excuse me?  No.  It's YOUR fault for cheating on me.  But you keep telling yourself whatever b.s. helps you sleep at night." 

    Edited to add:

    One of the many things I like about my online WW friend @mrsconn23.  She uses the term "gaslight", lol.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    MissKittyDangerOurWildKingdom
  • I will never know why people stay friends with an ex (yes I do, at least one of them is holding out hopes).... and for that reason I have a hard time getting past the first few lines of every letter that starts like this.
    OurWildKingdom
  • I will never know why people stay friends with an ex (yes I do, at least one of them is holding out hopes).... and for that reason I have a hard time getting past the first few lines of every letter that starts like this.


    While I realize this is dangerous ground for a lot of people, I've found it healthy for myself when I stay friends with an ex for a period of time.

    The occasional phone call or lunch out helps me ease out of becoming used to this person no longer being in my life.  Without it suddenly being a cold turkey of "this person I'm used to seeing/talking to every day is someone I will never see/talk to again".  Then, over time, the friendship naturally just dwindles away.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    southernbelle0915
  • I will never know why people stay friends with an ex (yes I do, at least one of them is holding out hopes).... and for that reason I have a hard time getting past the first few lines of every letter that starts like this.


    While I realize this is dangerous ground for a lot of people, I've found it healthy for myself when I stay friends with an ex for a period of time.

    The occasional phone call or lunch out helps me ease out of becoming used to this person no longer being in my life.  Without it suddenly being a cold turkey of "this person I'm used to seeing/talking to every day is someone I will never see/talk to again".  Then, over time, the friendship naturally just dwindles away.

    (This is a different strokes for different folks thing but) NOPE. Dead to me. If you don't think the relationship is worth the effort of saving then you don't get the benefit of my friendship. (Granted I am a horrible person who couldn't break up with anyone so I was generally over a relationship before they were)
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I was actually able to stay friends with one ex.  We only dated for two months, though.  We started dating knowing that the relationship may not work, but we wanted to give it a shot.  He was an atheist and I'm Catholic.  Yes, I realize a relationship between two people with those religious points of view could work.  We just knew ourselves well enough to know that the relationship would be a long shot.  The break-up was calm and just a realization that a romantic future wasn't good for either of us.  We didn't talk for a while and slowly ended up becoming friends again.  We stayed friends until he moved and we slowly fell out of touch.  It's been years since I've heard from him.



    Anniversary
    short+sassy
  • I haven't stayed in touch with any ex BFs but DH is still civil with the ex GF he had when we started college.   While neither of us make plans to get together, when we run into one another pleasantries are exchanged. 

    Also, I cannot take the credit for my comment on the ice cream flavor.  

     


    OliveOilsMom
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards