They do the government doesn't. They're planning a wedding a year from now it's just that technically there's been no engagement ring and she hasn't applied for a fiance visa so they aren't "officially engaged" which i have said above at some point.Every time the groom tries to shut this down they walk away from him and tell him to "grow a pair". He still hangs round with them because they are his work friends.
I thought we'd move past this considering people on these board agree that if a wedding is being planned then the couple are engaged even if its unofficially?Besides there's now a new problem same people. M has turned round and said that if the groom has a best maid instead of a best man then he's not going to be part of it and another friend of the groom has asked the groom if it's really worth ending a friendship over some stupid title for some girl who they don't know ( even though i was out playing pool with them at the time and I've been friends with the groom for 7 years which is longer that them combined) Is it me or are these people going a bit ott with this? I mean I always thought that it was the bride and grooms choice who was in their wp not a collective vote between men and women. Either way i'm gonna sit back and wait to see what the groom says as it his choice but i'm kinda hurt by some of the comments made when they think i can't hear them. The groom does stick up for me but when he does his friends just walk away from him and tell him to "man up".
Groom to M, "I'm sorry to hear that. You will be missed in my WP, but I hope you still come to the wedding."
Groom to other friend, "I'm not ending the friendship. M is. With his totally unreasonable and bizarre demand."
@nassyv12, I'm sorry that you and your friend are being hurt by those attitudes. It doesn't surprise to me run into a mysogynist (sp?) once in awhile, but I am sadly surprised that it appears to be more than just M. Quite frankly, I don't understand why they even care who is in the WP. It is 100% the groom's choice and has exactly zero effect on them. We're talking about the bachelor party, for who wants to go, and the wedding /reception as a WP "group". That's it. The WP is not going to be chained together 24/7 for months, so I'm just not seeing the big deal.
@JediElizabeth actually he's now started to make other demands out side of the wedding party scenario. He told us that if were all going out we can only go to specific pubs because our regular ( the one my Bf, his fi, my so and I go to) is to quiet and boring. It has a live in puppy so I don't see how it's boring ( and no hes not allergic to dogs I checked before suggesting the place). Apparently I'm not allowed to wear dresses because with my crew cut ( done for charity) it makes me too confusing as he's not sure if i'm male or female... I've got a fairly generous amount of chest so i cant see the confusion. Oh and apparently when i was T total due to medication i wasn't allowed to come out with them because i was " a let down". He's and unreasonable person in general we just didn't know he was going to be that sexist. After having a heart to heart with my friend last night he has decided if M makes another ultimatum then he's going to call his bluff because my friend refuses to have anyone else stood by his side other than me and people that support his choices. I think his fi has also had a word about the comments as she apparently put forward the idea of me standing on her side in a position of honour but my friend said that it didn't seem right his best friend not being allowed to stand next to him.Thank you everyone for the support I know my writing can get a bit rambly but thank you for sticking through it.
I don't see anything wrong with him offering his opinion/preference on where to go. But a "demand" is ridiculous. He has 51 other Saturdays in the year to plan a night out at the establishment of his choice.
Now he's confusing me. You'd think he'd want you to dress more like a guy so he can pretend you're the gender he wants for the bach party. Of course, I joke. I'm sure you haven't had someone tell you how to dress since you were a kid living at home. There is really something wrong with this guy.