Dear Prudence,
I’m a 22-year-old college dropout who has been struggling to get my life on track. Last year, after I moved across the country to a city where my cousin lives, my car broke down. My cousin offered to pay for it, since I couldn’t afford the repairs, and we worked out a repayment plan. Some months later, I ended up moving back home—during which time my car broke down again and this time couldn’t be saved. My cousin let me take a break from making payments as I bought another car. Then he won more than half a million dollars at a casino.
He knew I was still in no shape to pay off the repairs any time soon, and he said he didn’t want me to pay him money I didn’t have for a car I didn’t have. I asked him if he was sure, and he insisted I not finish paying him back. He’s one of the most rational people I know, so I know this wasn’t impulsive or about showing off. Though I hope to be able to pay him back eventually, this removal of urgency has been a huge relief for me.
The problem is that some family members who are aware of the situation think it’s horrible that I’m taking him at his word and are adamant that I should still be consistently paying him back. If I could, I would, but I’m still living paycheck to paycheck, and I’m just glad that this reprieve has allowed me to clear up a few hospital bills. Am I doing the wrong thing by waiting until I’m more secure financially to pay him back—which he isn’t even expecting me to do—or am I just making excuses?