Chit Chat

Weird neighbor day

CMGragainCMGragain
10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
member
edited September 5 in Chit Chat
Yesterday was weird.  DH is the president of our neighborhood home owner's association.  Usually our days are peaceful, with an occasional rumbling from a homeowner who wants tp put up a new shed in his backyard.

Yesterday, DH gets this drunken phone call from a new resident who is renting a house.  She demands that he speak to her next door neighbors and tell them that they must be nice to her.  She also insists that one of the neighbors is racist (not to my knowledge!) and that they are complaining about her dogs barking.  She rants for an hour while DH tries to explain to her that the HOA doesn't deal with any of this.  He hung up and walked outside. 

She called back, and this time I spoke to her politely at first.  She had called the police at that point.  I am pretty certain that this is the first time that the police have EVER been called to our neighborhood.  The police tried to diffuse the situation and took no action.  (Yay for them!)  She them informed me that because DH is president of the HOA, he is responsible for her neighbors behavior.  She also informed me that she had a gun and a carry permit. I told her that , no, DH was not responsible for relations between neighbors, and that I was going to hang up.  I asked her not to call back.

Twenty minutes later, she is pounding on my door and screaming to get in to my house.  I am deep into new chemo, and I am in bed.  Dh spoke to her and she went away thinking that she had triumphed over her neighbors..

I couldn't sleep.  I am worried that there is a nut case with a gun in my neighborhood.  One of our friends is her stepfather.  We called him, and he advised us to have as little to do with her as possible, and confirmed our assessment of her.

What should I do?  I don't want this woman in my house!
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Re: Weird neighbor day

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited September 5
    The HOA doesn't address anyone's behavior unless it directly affects the neighborhood, like loud parties at 3:00 AM.  That just doesn't happen here.  Tenants are not members of the association, and they have no rights within it.  Their landlord is responsible for them.  This is an expensive area, and I think we might have two houses occupied by renters at the moment.
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  • I might contact the landlord if you know them and give them a heads up. If you have to call the police again you might want to let the owners know what's going on. 
    MairePoppysparklepants41OliveOilsMom
  • Wow!  I have NEVER called the police.  Ever.  This is all new to me.
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  • Haha it's not that scary. She's probably just drunk and harmless but since she's mentioned (while drunk and angry) she has a gun I'd probably just call them if she does it again. Hopefully she'll just realize your H isn't going to do anything and knock it off. 
    CMGragainsparklepants41
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
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    I might contact the landlord if you know them and give them a heads up. If you have to call the police again you might want to let the owners know what's going on. 
    Yes, this. We just bought a house and our landlords reiterated when returning our security deposit that we were awesome because we always paid the rent on time and they never had any complaints from neighbors or the police. My thought when they first mentioned that was, "Is that really that common?"

    But apparently so, and it sounded like they would have wanted to know if we were causing issues, and the longtime residents would have had no problem telling them.

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    CMGragain
  • I'm not familiar with American laws, but would the renter have to disclose if they had a permit to carry a gun?

    Also, I would definitely let the owners know what is happening - just so they aren't blindsided if the renter rages off on something.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited September 5
    I'm not familiar with American laws, but would the renter have to disclose if they had a permit to carry a gun?

    Also, I would definitely let the owners know what is happening - just so they aren't blindsided if the renter rages off on something.
    No.  The tenant is required to abide by any local, state, and federal laws.  Local laws vary widely the the States.  This is Colorado, and ir is "gun" country, but anyone who discharges a firearm in this community is subject to arrest unless it is extreme circumstances.  Not liking your neighbors doesn't count as one.

    I feel SO sorry for her next door neighbors!
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  • I might contact the landlord if you know them and give them a heads up. If you have to call the police again you might want to let the owners know what's going on. 
    Yes, this. We just bought a house and our landlords reiterated when returning our security deposit that we were awesome because we always paid the rent on time and they never had any complaints from neighbors or the police. My thought when they first mentioned that was, "Is that really that common?"

    But apparently so, and it sounded like they would have wanted to know if we were causing issues, and the longtime residents would have had no problem telling them.

    Probably highly depends on the area.  But for any city, I'd think it's typically rare in higher end areas.  I've owned 4-6 rental units for the last two years and have never "quite" had a neighbor or the police complain to me.  My personal home is a duplex and I did have my next door neighbor call the police on those tenants once because they were having a drunken fight and she suspected it had turned physical (it had).  However, she's never complained to me about them nor did the police ask to talk to me.  I have another duplex where one tenant shared minor complaints about the other one to me.  But that has been it. 

    @CMGragain, I'm so sorry to hear about this!  I know this is the last thing you need to be worrying about right now.  Although I agree about contacting the property owner, he isn't responsible for his tenant's behavior.  With that said, if it was my tenant, I would want to know and I would at least have a discussion with my tenant that they need to leave you all alone.  And stick to only calling the police for noise disturbances.

    I also agree that, if she comes back to your all's home, don't open the door for her.  If she knocks for more than 5-10 minutes or so, then I would call the police.  I know that is an uncomfortable thought for you, but it is not much different than calling the police for an auto accident.  It's their job and that kind of a disturbance call is very normal for them.  It is also probably the easiest and most expeditious way to get her to leave you all alone.  If the behavior continues (and I expect it won't), then you all can get a restraining order against her.  But that is an unlikely "worst case" scenario. 

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  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited September 6
    OK.  We called her mother and step father, who has been our friend for more than 10 years.  I gather that Mom went over and told her to "cool it!"  I hope this works.  Thanks!

    Funny thing is that her statements to me were full of obvious lies.  No, her stepfather isn't on the HOA board - hasn't been for years, and he doesn't want to be!  (Who does?)  The police told me that there was NO report taken from last night, but told me to call if she shows up with the gun she was so eager to tell me about.  (She insists that the police came and wrote a citation for her neighbor.  Nope.  Didn't happen.)  No, she doesn't own the house she just moved into with her daughter.  (She is not an HOA member, so she has no right to be bothering DH about anything.)  No, her dogs aren't certified "service animals".  Liar, Lair and drunk as a skunk.

    It really ruined our evening, and both DH and I are upset about this.  Thank for your suggestions, friends.

    PS.  This is a small city and I know her new employer personally - IF I can believe anything she said last night.   We have been friends for several years.  I won't say anything unless she keeps it up.  My friend is a senior hospital administrator, and might have concerns about leaving Looneytoons with patients.  Maybe this was just a one time thing.  I hope so.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited September 7
    ernursej said:
    CMGragain said:
    OK.  We called her mother and step father, who has been our friend for more than 10 years.  I gather that Mom went over and told her to "cool it!"  I hope this works.  Thanks!

    Funny thing is that her statements to me were full of obvious lies.  No, her stepfather isn't on the HOA board - hasn't been for years, and he doesn't want to be!  (Who does?)  The police told me that there was NO report taken from last night, but told me to call if she shows up with the gun she was so eager to tell me about.  (She insists that the police came and wrote a citation for her neighbor.  Nope.  Didn't happen.)  No, she doesn't own the house she just moved into with her daughter.  (She is not an HOA member, so she has no right to be bothering DH about anything.)  No, her dogs aren't certified "service animals".  Liar, Lair and drunk as a skunk.

    It really ruined our evening, and both DH and I are upset about this.  Thank for your suggestions, friends.

    PS.  This is a small city and I know her new employer personally - IF I can believe anything she said last night.   We have been friends for several years.  I won't say anything unless she keeps it up.  My friend is a senior hospital administrator, and might have concerns about leaving Looneytoons with patients.  Maybe this was just a one time thing.  I hope so.

    I personally wouldn't get her employer involved. Even if she continues to demonstrate crappy behaviour at home, it may be completely different at work. I'm not a Lawyer but couldn't that be defamation?
    Only if it is untrue.  I don't plan on telling my friend.  I don't want to upset her.  If it gets really bad, I hope the problem will solve itself without me.  If she walks into MY hospital room, I'll make some noise, though.
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    ernursej
  • Haha it's not that scary. She's probably just drunk and harmless but since she's mentioned (while drunk and angry) she has a gun I'd probably just call them if she does it again. Hopefully she'll just realize your H isn't going to do anything and knock it off. 
    I agree she probably wont do anything, but based on this interaction, yes I would call the cops. She's harassing you, showing up pounding on your door while drunk and whether it was a threat or not is bragging about having a gun during a confrontation. Call the cops. Make a trail. Prepare for the worst.
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