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I'm going to start with some back story! My fiancé and I got engaged September of 2016 . We quickly realized that local wedding was not for us. I'm not big on details and he isn't either. We decided by the beginning of October 2016 we were doing a destination wedding. We decided on doing a cruise and getting married on the island of St. Thomas, our sailing date was September 9th 2017. We knew when we chose this option that there were going to be people that were not able to make it for various reasons. We ended up having a guest list of about 18 people mostly family which was perfectly fine with us. We had our Bon Voyage Reception August 26th ( like a home reception, but we did it prior to leaving for simplicity, worked out great!! Would totally suggest it!). We found out September 5th that our cruise was cancelled due to Hurricane Irma. We were completely devastated.We threw around several ideas of other options vegas, court house, ECT. But I decided that I had my heart set on a destination wedding and I wasn't going to settle on something that I had been planning for over a year! The cruise line told us that we would be receiving their money back and also 50% off of our next Cruise, I thought this was great because now everyone gets to go and it's half the price. We tentatively decided on booking a cruise that left December 10th. My fiance and I had decided that instead of getting married on st. Thomas, we would get married in Miami (half the price and same effect). We would get married and go on the cruise as a celebration for his family and my family. Everyone was okay with that, the date worked out and everyone was ready to book. I wanted to wait until everyone got their refunds on the original fare before rebooking. Everyone was okay with that and agreed that was the smartest choice. We finally got our refunds back today and so I sent out a group message to everybody that was originally going to let them know we should all have our money back and I was going to go ahead and book and have the travel agent go ahead and book them too! Well I swiftly got a response from the majority of his family saying they are not going anymore. His parents then asked if we could change the date of the cruise because his dad had the opportunity to take a job to make big money. The original Cruise date was picked because that worked for his family, my family is extremely flexible. We picked the second date due to his family's schedule again, and then today we decide to book they are no longer okay with that date. I don't really want to plan the wedding another year out! But don't know what to do anymore. Any ideas, suggestions, or thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
We hosted it as a Bon Voyage Reception/Shower. We didn't have any other wedding events besides that one. We did it as a send off and it worked out well, but I do see where you are coming from. Again it is a very small wedding pretty much my parents and his parents and his sister. So I would feel awful doing it without his parents present.
I would like to clarify a couple things we did not throw our own shower!!!! It was thrown by my maid of honor, because of the number of people our families helped fund it. Everyone that was invited to the shower was invited to the wedding. No one is upset about the bon voyage at all everyone loved it! Destination wedding etiquette is a lot different than a traditional wedding. The current problem is that his whole family agreed to the new date said it worked for everyone, but when it came time to book that date they then decided they wanted me to change the date. At this point I am at a loss of what to do, if I should keep the same date and if they can't go they can't go which would break my heart. No one is upset of how things are being done at all so I think I may have miscommunicated that in the original post. I'm just mainly looking for advice as to if I should continue with the date that everybody agreed on and then decided was no longer good or if I should try to re coordinate another date with his family, or other options. But our families have already spent a lot of money on our shower (like more than alot of people do on a traditional wedding reception) I could never ask them to pretty much do it all over again and host another 300 people for a local wedding and reception.
We actually invited the same number to the shower as well as the wedding. But for all of you to know we are actually replanning the wedding for January on the cruise again. But I'm sorry I can't help weather, so what I have done is not incorrect at all. And telling me I sound gift grabby or that I should return the gifts is ridiculous, our wedding was postponed due to weather not because we aren't getting married. But to be truthful I probably will never post on this website ever again for advice. We are already having a tough time with our wedding being cancelled due to weather, and most of you made it harder on us. These boards are suppose to be helpful and uplifting , and bringing up things that are already done and over with and can't be changed doesn't help anyone. And to clarify I am still extremely happy with how my shower turned out, everyone had a great time and all of our guest at the shower feel extremely bad for us and are heart broken for us ! And someone said that it's about your guest?!?! Excuse me? Weddings are not for the guests. But thank you for the people who actually tried to help rather than criticize what is already done. I'm going to stick to asking for advice from a strictly destination wedding only website.