Chit Chat

Mom forgot to write "and guest" on the invitations/RSVP's - Help!

Hey folks, my mom sent out all of our invitations.  The RSVP cards themselves had no spot to select "guest", just a blank line to write who was coming.  I assumed my mom knew to right "Mr/Mrs xxxxx and Guest" on the envelopes themselves, but she did not.  She just put the name of the individual we wanted to invite, with no sign that their significant other was invited. I'm looking for suggestions for what to do at this point since I think some people may be confused and unwilling to be rude by RSVPing with an extra guest that we didn't explicitly say could come..and this may greatly reduce attendance.  What would you do in this case?

1. Send a follow up letter to clarify that one guest (max) is allowed
2. Make an awkward phone call to everyone to inform them and ask if they are coming
3. Do nothing and home for the best
or
4. Something else?

 Any ideas appreciated. 

Re: Mom forgot to write "and guest" on the invitations/RSVP's - Help!

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Hey folks, my mom sent out all of our invitations.  The RSVP cards themselves had no spot to select "guest", just a blank line to write who was coming.  I assumed my mom knew to right "Mr/Mrs xxxxx and Guest" on the envelopes themselves, but she did not.  She just put the name of the individual we wanted to invite, with no sign that their significant other was invited. I'm looking for suggestions for what to do at this point since I think some people may be confused and unwilling to be rude by RSVPing with an extra guest that we didn't explicitly say could come..and this may greatly reduce attendance.  What would you do in this case?

    1. Send a follow up letter to clarify that one guest (max) is allowed
    2. Make an awkward phone call to everyone to inform them and ask if they are coming
    3. Do nothing and home for the best
    or
    4. Something else?

     Any ideas appreciated. 
    Do you have emails for these contacts?  I would send a simple email saying that there was a slight oversight on the invitations and that the invite is also extended to include a guest.  



    Anniversary
    ahoyweddingILoveBeachMusicsparklepants41
  • Good idea but sadly I do not have their emails.  They are mostly older folks.  
  • Hey folks, my mom sent out all of our invitations.  The RSVP cards themselves had no spot to select "guest", just a blank line to write who was coming.  I assumed my mom knew to right "Mr/Mrs xxxxx and Guest" on the envelopes themselves, but she did not.  She just put the name of the individual we wanted to invite, with no sign that their significant other was invited. I'm looking for suggestions for what to do at this point since I think some people may be confused and unwilling to be rude by RSVPing with an extra guest that we didn't explicitly say could come..and this may greatly reduce attendance.  What would you do in this case?

    1. Send a follow up letter to clarify that one guest (max) is allowed
    2. Make an awkward phone call to everyone to inform them and ask if they are coming
    3. Do nothing and home for the best
    or
    4. Something else?

     Any ideas appreciated. 

    I would split-up the guest list and have myself, my mom, my dad (if part of it) and my FI, contact everyone and explain the mix-up.  For people with SO's, something like, "Aunt Sue/Mrs. Smith we really apologize for the oversight, but we accidentally didn't get Uncle Joe/Mr. Smith's name onto the invitation!  Of course they are invited, haha!"

    It's considered very rude to not invite someone's SO and, as the invites stand now, that is the impression.  So, to me, it would be important to address this oversight with phone calls promptly.

    For your truly single guests who are receiving a Plus One/Guest, just call them up and say something like, "Hey Cousin Jane, we accidentally didn't get it on the invite, but you are more than welcome to bring a guest to the wedding.  If you're bringing someone, just include their name on the RSVP."

    A couple things.  Don't necessarily be looking for an RSVP when you all make these calls.  I'm assuming this will be happening long before the RSVP date.  Of course, some of your guests might voluntarily RSVP while they have you on the phone.  Bonus!

    Don't worry about actually talking to someone.  It's simple enough information to just leave a message.

    For lurkers, when someone has an SO, the invitation should ALWAYS be addressed to BOTH people...by name.  It is only appropriate to have the invite "and Guest", if it is a truly single person who is being given the option to bring whomever they would like.   

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    STARMOON44InLoveInQueenssparklepants41
  • I'd go with option 1 or 2. You have to let people know. I'd personally just call to save the hassle of printing and sending more mail.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Call or email to invite their SO by name and explain what happened. Don't tell people who have a SO that they can bring "a guest." 1) They are then entitled to bring anyone they want, and 2) it's not really respectful of the fact that they are in a relationship with a specific person.

    As PP said, with option 2, just clarify (don't ask for an RSVP at that time), and do it ASAP. That way people aren't already preparing to RSVP without their SO, making travel plans without them, and whatnot, and then when you call at RSVP time they're like "Oh, that would have been good to know when we were booking flights and still had time to figure out petsitting."

    Anniversary

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards