Wedding Woes

Heartbroken

2»

Re: Heartbroken

  • @OurWildKingdom, I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs!
  • I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you an internet hug. 
    ________________________________


  • I've been MIA on the boards and just saw this.

    I was so sorry to hear the wedding has been postponed and that your SO isn't sure if she wants to get married again.  ((Hugs!))

    I'm glad the two of you will both be doing individual counseling and couples counseling.  I hope it helps and gives perspective.  I also wanted to repeat some of the other PPs.  Don't be afraid to leave the relationship, if you decide that is the best course.  It's always a sad situation but, people can love each other and still not be right for each other.

    My H and I were together for 13 years before we got married.  All on him for being that long.  I did come to a point, a few times, where I asked myself if it was time to leave.  Because I did envision my life including marriage, but it appeared that his time to get married was perpetually "someday".  I would ask myself the question, "If staying with him means never getting married, do I still want to stay?"  My answer was always a yes, albeit rueful.  I accepted that and resigned myself to it.  It actually gave me satisfaction.  I was choosing to stay with him, even knowing the relationship was probably not going to go where I'd hoped it would.  And that was okay.  Then my H proposed in Year 12 and we were married 6 months later.  In a coincidence with your SO, he'd been married twice before also.

    Ask yourself that question while you go through counseling and also on occasion as a gut check for yourself.  Hopefully she comes around and becomes 100% sure, despite her past.  But she might not.  People are complicated.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I've been MIA on the boards and just saw this.

    I was so sorry to hear the wedding has been postponed and that your SO isn't sure if she wants to get married again.  ((Hugs!))

    I'm glad the two of you will both be doing individual counseling and couples counseling.  I hope it helps and gives perspective.  I also wanted to repeat some of the other PPs.  Don't be afraid to leave the relationship, if you decide that is the best course.  It's always a sad situation but, people can love each other and still not be right for each other.

    My H and I were together for 13 years before we got married.  All on him for being that long.  I did come to a point, a few times, where I asked myself if it was time to leave.  Because I did envision my life including marriage, but it appeared that his time to get married was perpetually "someday".  I would ask myself the question, "If staying with him means never getting married, do I still want to stay?"  My answer was always a yes, albeit rueful.  I accepted that and resigned myself to it.  It actually gave me satisfaction.  I was choosing to stay with him, even knowing the relationship was probably not going to go where I'd hoped it would.  And that was okay.  Then my H proposed in Year 12 and we were married 6 months later.  In a coincidence with your SO, he'd been married twice before also.

    Ask yourself that question while you go through counseling and also on occasion as a gut check for yourself.  Hopefully she comes around and becomes 100% sure, despite her past.  But she might not.  People are complicated.

    This is so so so true.  Well said!

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards