Vent of the week

missJeanLouise

Real Estate. I just don’t understand how it works in this country. We have to move in less than 6 weeks. I am having a hard time even getting real estate companies to call me back!

There is all sorts of bullshit and running around to switch utilities and move out of our current place. I was not here last time, DH had to do this but he swears it takes 3 weeks. It probably won’t but he is breathing down my neck to find a place. We haven’t even narrowed down what part of the city we want to live in yet. It would be nice to be able to narrow the search a bit.

There is a place near us that has dropped into our price range that I would put money down on it today if they would fucking show it to me. Then again, there are slightly smaller places all the way in the city (pro: closer to activities con: possible traffic) for ~3-5k less. I want to see those too. 

This lady I just spoke with said she would call me back in 2 weeks to set up a showing. It is like they want you to be pressed for time so you have to make a snap decision and that aggravates me. I love shopping but I need to see evvvvvvverrythang before I can commit to a purchase (DH is the impulse shopper in this relationship). That being said, why wouldn’t a real estate agent want to build a relationship with you? Why are you making it so hard for me to give you money??!


Thanks for listening. What’s yours?

charlotte989875

My vent is also real estate related, but with buyers. We’ve had an interested buyer for WEEKS now. She can’t get a mortgage (something about a divorce & working for her husband’s company forever and just getting a new job), offered us a lease to own but as a land contract not as a traditional lease to own. We said we’d do lease to own but not the land contract (we don’t even think our bank would let us). Then she said her sister was going to buy it for her. Great, send us an offer. She’s seen it twice again this week. Awesome. By what are you doing?? Are you making an offer, are you not? Are you going to do the lease to own we offered, or not? It’s like one week she’s all in wants to move forward right this second and the next we don’t hear from her. We’re probably the most eager sellers ever so as long as the offer covers our mortgage we’re going to take it. Ugh, so frustrating. 

missJeanLouise

Charlotte Are you still on the market or are you holding out for this lady? I hope something gets finalized for you soon. It is so aggravating.

charlotte989875

We’re definitely still on the market but haven’t had much action. It’s a slow market in Toledo and we’re heading into winter. We really don’t want to lease since we’re not there anymore, so we’re hoping to sell outright. 

short+sassy

@charlotte989875, I'm assuming it isn't under contract.  Hopefully another buyer will come along soon.  I know you all have had the house on the market for awhile. That is frustrating!  I know people are different, but why would someone need two showings in one week, when I'm assuming there have already been other showings with her over the last few weeks.  Good luck with everything.  I hope a better buyer comes along.

My daily vents are always traffic related.  There's always some crazy idiot on my drives...usually multiples.  This is just a selection of my irritations.

Blocking intersections.  Not just a little bit.  One car blocking the first lane and a second car behind it...smack in the middle of the intersection blocking the second lane.  Every once in awhile, you'll even see the "trifecta".  A THIRD car blocking the third lane.

People also drive really slow where I live.  It's so weird and I don't understand it.  But it's related to my other fave.  Someone driving 5-10+ miles below the speed limit through the city.  And I KNOW we are going to miss the next light...when we shouldn't.  What does "slow AF, oh so careful driver" do?  Completely run the red light.  Seriously, jerk.  I promise.  It is substantially safer to just drive the speed limit and make the light while it is green.

Only 20-30% of drivers use their turn signals.  So bizarre.  I've even asked friends/coworkers who have lived in NOLA all their lives.  What is the DEAL with that?  It's SO easy to use a turn signal and they prevent accidents.  So why?  WHY???  They have all agreed with me, but nobody has had an answer.  Sometimes they assume it is like that everywhere.  No, no.  No, it isn't.  At least not the majority of drivers.

MissKittyDanger

While real estate is a headache, I'm lucky I didn't have you ladies' issues. Ours was smooth, and had a few hiccups when moved in {water leak, water heater off, etc} but nothing hugely dramatic - despite what it felt like at the time.

My vent is people undermining pregnancy.

I mentioned to a friend that I was having a rough first trimester. I'm exhausted, I've been nauseated constantly and I'm on meds for morning sickness.
Like it's currently feeling like "one and done" kinda thing.

My friend - who has 2 kids, but has had total of 4 pregnancies - was basically saying it wasn't a big deal, etc etc.
Uhm, no. Fuck off. This is me dealing with it, and maybe I'm not as strong as you or my idea of rough isn't the same. It doesn't mean you get to undermine my pregnancy. You aren't me. You don't know how I feel. Every pregnancy is different, just like every person is different.

My mum is more sympathetic and she had a perfect pregnancy, but rough labour.


Word to the wise, if someone says they're having a rough time don't just say "oh it can't be that bad" or anything along those lines. It's rude and inconsiderate.

CharmedPam

@missjeanlouise, that is by far so different from here.  Real estate agents are usually free the NEXT day for us! All they want to do is show show show.  Sorry you're having such a problem.
@charlotte989875 hope it works out with your buyer. That is annoying.

My vent is - this is the first time in a week since I've been able to post!

but also, I'm throwing in a work vent.  I had something due yesterday, but couldn't send it out till a salesperson looked it over.  Did she? no.  So the guy was all like 'where is this, it wad due yesterday?" and I'm like.....sorry bud, I know I'm "responsible" for this but I have to get approval first and she ain't looking at her e-mails right now.  She never does.

short+sassy

@missJeanLouise, sorry it has been so difficult!  That is so different from the U.S.!  If I have a vacant unit, I want it filled ASAP.  Are real estate agents the only option for finding an apartment?  Is there anywhere that owners post their own ads?  Or apartment complexes/buildings that might have their own office? 

missJeanLouise

@short+sassy I might be using the wrong term, leasing agent might be more appropriate. Real Estate scams are a real thing here so going through a reputable real estate company is recommended. There are just so many properties, all different, some owners do their own but most (probably 90%) use a management company or real estate company. But not the same one. For example, in my current community there are 6 different building, all are slightly different and a mix of studios to 6 bedrooms villas. Some are listed with the management company, others are listed with any one of dozens of different real estate groups. And you have to view the actual unit because they are all different, some are updated, some aren’t, but you don’t know till you get there because they all use stock photos in their ads.

CMGragain

There is a huge difference from a leasing agent and a real estate selling agent.  Not the same thing at all!  Leased properties can be very difficult to get access to, due to currant tenants and their terms of occupancy.
Years ago I sold real estate in Maryland.  People would question why I should get a commission (which was split four ways between brokers and another agent).  It was a very high stress job, and I really felt for some of my clients who were in a tight selling situation.
Good luck, @charlotte989875 .  I hope everything works out for you.

short+sassy

missJeanLouise said:

@short+sassy I might be using the wrong term, leasing agent might be more appropriate. Real Estate scams are a real thing here so going through a reputable real estate company is recommended. There are just so many properties, all different, some owners do their own but most (probably 90%) use a management company or real estate company. But not the same one. For example, in my current community there are 6 different building, all are slightly different and a mix of studios to 6 bedrooms villas. Some are listed with the management company, others are listed with any one of dozens of different real estate groups. And you have to view the actual unit because they are all different, some are updated, some aren’t, but you don’t know till you get there because they all use stock photos in their ads.

You're good on terminology.  A leasing agent is what I was picturing.  At least in the U.S., leasing agents are often real estate agents.  In fact, in my many places, they legally have to be a real estate agent to show rentals, if they aren't the owner or property manager.

Whhaaaattt!?!?  Oh now THAT is seriously messed up!  You could probably cross off a few places, if you could just see real photos.

It makes me wonder if the leasing agents are just paid a salary and don't get any "extra" for making a placement.  That could explain their blasé attitude.  Or maybe there is just so much demand, they don't have to try that hard.

Good luck!  That would really stress me out also.

thisismynickname2

@MissKittyDanger I'm sorry you feel like ass. I had constant nausea and if not for the medication I wouldn't have been able to function. The exhaustion is real too. Hopefully you'll feel better in your second tri. 

I hated when people would say stuff like "Oh if you're tired now, wait until you have your newborn!" or "It's easier to care for the baby inside than outside!" Don't care. Pregnancy can suck. It doesn't matter what it will be like, what matters is how you feel now! Sending a virtual hug! 

MissKittyDanger

thisismynickname2 said:

@MissKittyDanger I'm sorry you feel like ass. I had constant nausea and if not for the medication I wouldn't have been able to function. The exhaustion is real too. Hopefully you'll feel better in your second tri. 

I hated when people would say stuff like "Oh if you're tired now, wait until you have your newborn!" or "It's easier to care for the baby inside than outside!" Don't care. Pregnancy can suck. It doesn't matter what it will be like, what matters is how you feel now! Sending a virtual hug! 

Thanks.
I'm hoping on my 2nd trimester wind. I'm lucky M understands that I just feel awful, so he tries to be there for me.
I'm just glad the meds work, because without them I swear I wouldn't be able to work I can't imagine how life was for women before them!

*Barbie*

@MissKittyDanger
your friend can EABOD. I feel your pain, and you shouldn't have to justify that to anyone. If you decide to be one and done, you're also going to have to deal with all of the nonsense of "when will you be having the second" and "oh, it's not so bad!"
my pregnancy was hell for the first ~17 weeks, followed by several weeks of "this isn't so bad" and then right back to "man, this sucks." i was constantly nauseous until 17 weeks. (never threw up, up, except when i got food poisoning or a 48 hour bug around 15 weeks, and landed in the hospital on IV fluids).  I was in the process of arranging a cross country move, and worked from home for a majority of the first 20-25 weeks. (When I wasn't travelling.) That was the only thing that got me through. My office was running on minimal staff and my boss was in another state - so nobody noticed that I was never there. (I doubt they would have cared as long as i answered the phone and work got done, but i never asked permission.) I was so tired and nauseous - i needed the option of taking a 30 minute nap every so often. 

MissKittyDanger

@*Barbie*
I can't even imagine how sick you were. Weren't you also on hospital rest at 33 weeks? I believe you mentioned that before.
Were you nauseous enough to get meds? I know some people do end up getting them just to try and tide them over.

CROSS COUNTRY MOVE AT 17 WEEKS!? Are you insane!? Lmao Brave lady!

*Barbie*

@MissKittyDanger
No meds for nausea, except right after the food poisoning/bug at 15 weeks. I had a pair of sea bands which were probably less than useless. I also had to go to a neuro and get an EEG and full workup for migraine meds since what I was taking wasn't pregnancy safe. I lost about 15-20lbs over my first trimester. 
I was 24 weeks when we made the move to TX. We drove ~1550 miles over 3 days with 2 dogs in the car. I had to find a new OBGYN, and a new perinatologist. (Which is not easy to do once you pass that viability point.) Since it was a corporate move with my company, I had to manage all of the arrangements with the relocation team. 
I was going to TX about 1 week/month through our move, and flying while feeling that miserable was no fun. It was also increasingly uncomfortable since i couldn't put down my tray table (either didn't fit behind it or if the person in front of me decided to recline suddenly, I was violently stabbed in the abdomen. (You'd better believe that i chewed the guy out the first time that happened.)
I was on hospital bed rest at 33 weeks, and induced at 33W6D due to preeclampsia. She was born after 30 hours of labor, 2 failed epidurals, and an emergency c-section. 
ONE AND DONE.

missJeanLouise

@short+sassy from what I understand, they all earn a commission, 5% of the cost of the rental, that we pay on top of deposits, fees, and all hell else. It is just a completely different way of doing business, totally backwards from the US.  Bhuuuuut we aren’t in the US sooo I guess I just have to adapt? It is still frustrating though.

@CMGragain Here, the leasing agents work for real estate companies and they are fully qualified real estate agents. It is a completely different market/ environment/ culture than the US and Maryland, hence my vent.

sparklepants41

@MissKittyDanger I also had super intense nausea (but without actually getting sick, which sucked because that at least would have given me relief). I didn’t have anti-nausea meds because I didn’t know about them. And ginger ale was one of my aversions - made me so much more nauseous. 

The exhaustion was unbearable. It’s a different kind of exhaustion than you’ve ever experienced isn’t it? 

Hang in there - the second trimester is better for nausea and exhaustion. Then - not to scare you - but the third trimester has its own unique exhaustion. 

I totally understand what you’re going through. It’s a lot of work growing a human and everyone is different. I would have thought your friend having been preggo multiple times herself would know better than to minimize someone’s feelings - especially a hormonal pregnant lady!!

MissKittyDanger

@sparklepants41 I call the exhaustion the kind that you're expecting to get the flu at some point, but you're just too tired to fight it.
I keep hearing of 3rd trimester exhaustion, but is that mostly just because you're so big and it's more effort to do anything?

banana468

MissKittyDanger said:

@sparklepants41 I call the exhaustion the kind that you're expecting to get the flu at some point, but you're just too tired to fight it.
I keep hearing of 3rd trimester exhaustion, but is that mostly just because you're so big and it's more effort to do anything?

I remember the exhausted in 1st trimester like nothing I ever previously experienced.   The 5 minute drive home after a day of work was one where I thought I'd fall asleep at the wheel.

3rd trimester you're big, you're getting up to pee multiple times a night, baby can sit funk (I had horrible sciatic pain for the last 6 weeks with Chiquito) but you can at least stay up past 5 PM - at least I could. 

 

thisismynickname2

MissKittyDanger said:

@sparklepants41 I call the exhaustion the kind that you're expecting to get the flu at some point, but you're just too tired to fight it.
I keep hearing of 3rd trimester exhaustion, but is that mostly just because you're so big and it's more effort to do anything?

Yup. I walk pretty much everywhere and it became a struggle just to get to and from the train for work. It took longer and I had to budget more time too. Not only was it tiring, the baby sits lower and I always felt like I had to pee if I was standing- even if I'd just peed. Plus getting up 2-3 times a night to pee sucks too.
I don't know if you enjoyed working out prior to being pregnant, but I found that forcing myself just to do at least 20 minutes of cardio, if not some light weights in addition to that, actually helped with both nausea and tiredness! (And it helped me gain a healthy amount of weight and bounce back fairly quickly after birth.)  Sitting around made me lethargic but being active gave me some energy. Funny how that works. 

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@sparklepants41 I call the exhaustion the kind that you're expecting to get the flu at some point, but you're just too tired to fight it.
I keep hearing of 3rd trimester exhaustion, but is that mostly just because you're so big and it's more effort to do anything?

I remember the exhausted in 1st trimester like nothing I ever previously experienced.   The 5 minute drive home after a day of work was one where I thought I'd fall asleep at the wheel.

3rd trimester you're big, you're getting up to pee multiple times a night, baby can sit funk (I had horrible sciatic pain for the last 6 weeks with Chiquito) but you can at least stay up past 5 PM - at least I could. 

I calculated this week. I sleep like 10-11 hrs a night {that includes if I'm up briefly} and I'm still friggen exhausted.

MissKittyDanger

thisismynickname2 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@sparklepants41 I call the exhaustion the kind that you're expecting to get the flu at some point, but you're just too tired to fight it.
I keep hearing of 3rd trimester exhaustion, but is that mostly just because you're so big and it's more effort to do anything?

Yup. I walk pretty much everywhere and it became a struggle just to get to and from the train for work. It took longer and I had to budget more time too. Not only was it tiring, the baby sits lower and I always felt like I had to pee if I was standing- even if I'd just peed. Plus getting up 2-3 times a night to pee sucks too.
I don't know if you enjoyed working out prior to being pregnant, but I found that forcing myself just to do at least 20 minutes of cardio, if not some light weights in addition to that, actually helped with both nausea and tiredness! (And it helped me gain a healthy amount of weight and bounce back fairly quickly after birth.)  Sitting around made me lethargic but being active gave me some energy. Funny how that works. 

I'm not big on exercise but I do stretch. I may get into more yoga style stretching, but I mostly do it as needed and right before bed since I find I get comfortable a lot easier

sparklepants41

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@sparklepants41 I call the exhaustion the kind that you're expecting to get the flu at some point, but you're just too tired to fight it.
I keep hearing of 3rd trimester exhaustion, but is that mostly just because you're so big and it's more effort to do anything?

I remember the exhausted in 1st trimester like nothing I ever previously experienced.   The 5 minute drive home after a day of work was one where I thought I'd fall asleep at the wheel.

3rd trimester you're big, you're getting up to pee multiple times a night, baby can sit funk (I had horrible sciatic pain for the last 6 weeks with Chiquito) but you can at least stay up past 5 PM - at least I could. 

 

Also, at least in my experience, my heartburn had heartburn, so laying down was uncomfortable. And often it would feel like Babypants was using my lungs as an ottoman so getting much sleep during the 3rd trimester was super difficult.