Wedding 911

Wedding Cancelled on Facebook...but not in real life. How to announce that wedding is still on

Help! I am in desperate need of advice! My fiance and I are 7 months away from our wedding. We created a Facebook event page to begin collecting addresses and to give out preliminary information about our wedding. 

Unfortunately, over the weekend, we had a HUGE blowup and very hastily agreed that we should probably just end our relationship and call off the wedding. I wanted to just delete the Facebook Event Page, but in a moment of anger, my fiance insisted that I announce on the page that the wedding had been cancelled. We started to receive texts and phone calls from our friends and family right away. We both quickly deleted the FB page and our FB accounts. However, we never actually went through with cancelling the wedding with our planner or vendors. 

Fast forward to today. My fiance and I immediately realized that we were making a big mistake and that we don't want to end our relationship or our wedding. 

How do we fix this with our friends & family? How do we say "just kidding", we just had a fight and we are still getting married! The embarrassment is suffocating! We haven't even gotten back on Facebook. Any ideas or suggestions?? What would you do? Thank you all in advance! 

Re: Wedding Cancelled on Facebook...but not in real life. How to announce that wedding is still on

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited November 4
    Facebook is NOT  a proper place to post wedding information, or to collect guest information.  STOP IT!
    Before you go any further with your wedding plans, please schedule sessions with a premarital marriage counselor.  I see warning flags in your post.
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    STARMOON44short+sassyInLoveInQueensMesmrEwe
  • You'd better make calls to your families and friends and apologies to them right now. ;)And don't make quarrel any longer. Good luck.
  • Thank you all so much for your advice. Lesson learned about starting an informal Facebook event page to collect addresses, etc. We have still stayed away from Facebook all together. 

    We hadn't sent out STD's or invites, as all of our guests are local. The STD's were scheduled to go out in early Dec. 

    And I completely agree with the need for some pre-marital counseling to deal with the conflict that caused this whole mess in the first place, in addition to handling the "stress" of the wedding. We did sign up for online counseling (both of our schedules are pretty busy) and we've already attended two sessions individually and together. 

    Again, thank you all for your input. I believe the answer was obvious, but I guess in all my embarrassment, I couldn't see very clearly last week.
    Pre marital counseling not just “to deal with the conflict that caused this whole mess” but also to learn peaceful conflict resolution and how to fight respectfully. Marriage is hard and there will be more conflicts than just this one.
    MesmrEweInLoveInQueens
  • There are Marriage & Family Counselors who would much rather do premarital counseling than the aftermath of not and will meet you at a time that works for both of your schedules as this is something best done live or live via Zoom (it's more secure than Skype for counselors) as it pays dividends even for the healthiest of relationships.  In this state they offer a discount on the cost of the marriage license for couples who attend this!  THAT is your first call to make because it's cheaper/easier/better to do this than it is to go through a divorce because you either didn't discuss a topic, didn't learn effective strategies, and most of all, negotiate your "Rules of Engagement" BEFORE you sign on the line and say "I Do!" when really "NO WAY JOSE!"..  There are so many flags for both of you with the impulsive nature of what happened that yes, swallow your pride, tell people IRL what is happening.  Also, take a week or two and work this stuff out because really there's no shame in deciding your instinct was correct.  Get that counseling going ASAP!!!
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    short+sassy
  • Explain to them as you explained to us.
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Please continue to postpone the wedding until you are both in a better place.

    One doesn’t cancel a wedding in haste. 

    Get off off social media as a place to air grievances. 

    Contine with conselling. 

    Think about getting engaged again in 6 months time at least. 

    If either you or your partner’s first reaction is to bail, you aren’t ready for marriage. 
    InLoveInQueenssouthernbelle0915ahoyweddingcharlotte989875
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Please continue to postpone the wedding until you are both in a better place.

    One doesn’t cancel a wedding in haste. 

    Get off off social media as a place to air grievances. 

    Contine with conselling. 

    Think about getting engaged again in 6 months time at least. 

    If either you or your partner’s first reaction is to bail, you aren’t ready for marriage. 
    I have to completely agree with this advice. Calling of the wedding, even if it was just on FB, is a drastic overreaction to a fight. 

    InLoveInQueenscharlotte989875
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