Wedding Woes

It's only wednesday

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Re: It's only wednesday

  • @6fsn congrats on the raise!

    @VarunaTT so glad you're on vacation now! And yes please to drunk knotting - sounds like it could be highly entertaining for all of us lol ;)

    Last night I really wasn't feeling well (even more so than during the day). My headache was so much more intense, was making me feel drunk and wobbly, and I was having vision issues. Since I had similar symptoms when I was pregnant with Babypants - and ultimately that's what landed me in the hospital with an earlier-than-planned induction, I took my BP last night. It was high. And this morning was even higher - 173/116. I know. I need to take care of myself. So I am going to the doctor this afternoon. 
    Good luck! I also have high blood pressure.  My doctor put me on lisinipril but a weird side effect from it is coughing.   I was fine for awhile, but then started to cough, so I took myself off it (coughing is worse!) and got a checker myself, and it's at a "low high" still, but not super high which is good.  I left on bad terms with my doc, so I'm waiting for the surgeon to request a pre op appointment and I'm going to bring it up with my doc (actually new -old doc, I've had her before at a different practice) then. Maybe there's something else that I can take and not have coughing fits with?

    Anyway, the point was - if they do put you on meds (which I think is to early to be honest) lisinipril has that weird side effect to look out for.

  • @6fsn, congrats on the raise and I am seriously digging the beautiful purple in that sunrise pic.  Turned out to be a positive omen, ;).

    @missJeanLouise, congrats on finding your all's next place!

    @CharmedPam, lame, good luck figuring out the slow computer issue.  I don't know why my work won't let us WFH some of the time.  Except they're a really stodgy, old-fashioned company who want to be sure they get every second of every hour they pay for.  Which they feel they accomplish by everyone being in the office.  As opposed to my work is X.  And it got done.

    @banana468, sending out good vibes for NO puke bugs!

    @kimmiinthemitten, have fun on your trip!  Win lots of money, lol.  That's really interesting stuff on your H!  I can definitely see why the possibility is both exciting and a bit nerve racking.  Keep us posted. 

    @charlotte989675, I'm going to repeat the other PPs that it is just a bargaining tactic.  I understand why it is upsetting and annoying, but try not to take it personally or as a bad sign.  The first time I ever put an offer on a house, I also had a LONG list of items I wanted fixed after the inspection.  I didn't think I'd get everything, but they didn't agree to anything.  I countered back with my main, more expensive items (that were fair).  It was some haggling, but we eventually reached an agreement.  Though I never did buy the house for other reasons.  In retrospect, I suspect they were upset I'd sent a long list.  But I was also annoyed as hell, because I'd offered their asking price...which was on the high side anyway.  Assuming the "trade" would be they'd fix some of their deferred maintenance items during the inspection part.

    As an aside, they were complete crazy pants on some of the items, that were major safety violations.  I felt like my inspection did them a SERVICE (for those items), in alerting them to some dangerous situations.  It was a rental duplex that they didn't live in, though I was going to live on one side.  None of the wet rooms (kitchen and bath) had GFI outlets.  It was a raised house and there was a LIVE major electrical wire hanging on the ground.  They refused to fix either of those issues in our final PA, but actually did anyway, lol.  Even though I didn't buy the house, at least they did that.  No need to potentially electrify tenants or burn the house down over such easy and fairly cheap fixes, smh.

    Hopefully your buyer will "see the light" and agree to your counter.  Which sounds fair.  I'm assuming the knob and tube wiring is present, but not active?  That's how my house is.  That's how a lot of older homes are.  It's a result of people not wanting to pay a few extra dollars and/or electricians being lazy to have the old stuff removed, whenever the house was last re-wired.  It's NBD.  And I'm sure she's welcome to hire her own structural engineer to check out the beams...on her dime.  That's how that works.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @CharmedPam, lame, good luck figuring out the slow computer issue.  I don't know why my work won't let us WFH some of the time.  Except they're a really stodgy, old-fashioned company who want to be sure they get every second of every hour they pay for.  Which they feel they accomplish by everyone being in the office.  As opposed to my work is X.  And it got done.

    haha! I'll show them and knot in my spare time! :)  No one works the 8 hours they're paid for EVERY day....do they? are there people out there busy 8+ hours?

  • @sparklepants41, are you talking about MIGRAINE headaches?  Your symptoms sound like this could be the case.  I've had them most of my life.  Talk to your doctor about this!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • @CharmedPam, lame, good luck figuring out the slow computer issue.  I don't know why my work won't let us WFH some of the time.  Except they're a really stodgy, old-fashioned company who want to be sure they get every second of every hour they pay for.  Which they feel they accomplish by everyone being in the office.  As opposed to my work is X.  And it got done.

    haha! I'll show them and knot in my spare time! :)  No one works the 8 hours they're paid for EVERY day....do they? are there people out there busy 8+ hours?


    The irony is not lost on me either, lol.

    I have had jobs where I was busy 8+ hours.  Just not this one (or most of them).  At least not every day.

    My cousin works for a bank and WFH.  They were running out of space in the corporate offices and gave a number of employees that opportunity.  But, yikes!!!  It is more draconian than most in-office jobs.  She still has set hours and they monitor EVERYTHING she does on her work computer.  If her computer is "idle" for more than 5 minutes, it sends an auto-message to her supervisor.  As such, she needs to sign "in and out" for her lunch hour.  Things like that.  Yeesh.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • @charlotte989675, I'm going to repeat the other PPs that it is just a bargaining tactic.  I understand why it is upsetting and annoying, but try not to take it personally or as a bad sign.  The first time I ever put an offer on a house, I also had a LONG list of items I wanted fixed after the inspection.  I didn't think I'd get everything, but they didn't agree to anything.  I countered back with my main, more expensive items (that were fair).  It was some haggling, but we eventually reached an agreement.  Though I never did buy the house for other reasons.  In retrospect, I suspect they were upset I'd sent a long list.  But I was also annoyed as hell, because I'd offered their asking price...which was on the high side anyway.  Assuming the "trade" would be they'd fix some of their deferred maintenance items during the inspection part.

    As an aside, they were complete crazy pants on some of the items, that were major safety violations.  I felt like my inspection did them a SERVICE (for those items), in alerting them to some dangerous situations.  It was a rental duplex that they didn't live in, though I was going to live on one side.  None of the wet rooms (kitchen and bath) had GFI outlets.  It was a raised house and there was a LIVE major electrical wire hanging on the ground.  They refused to fix either of those issues in our final PA, but actually did anyway, lol.  Even though I didn't buy the house, at least they did that.  No need to potentially electrify tenants or burn the house down over such easy and fairly cheap fixes, smh.

    Hopefully your buyer will "see the light" and agree to your counter.  Which sounds fair.  I'm assuming the knob and tube wiring is present, but not active?  That's how my house is.  That's how a lot of older homes are.  It's a result of people not wanting to pay a few extra dollars and/or electricians being lazy to have the old stuff removed, whenever the house was last re-wired.  It's NBD.  And I'm sure she's welcome to hire her own structural engineer to check out the beams...on her dime.  That's how that works.

    I think part of the frustration is that we accepted an offer well below asking (they're agent said it was their "best and final") and that we lived in this house all of last year since we bought, made many (many!) updates, it passed inspection for an FHA loan, and none of the items on their list are safety hazards just "recommended fixes". 

    Knob+tube is exactly correct; present in the attic, not active and insulation all expected and fine. In the response our agent even said about the posts; "they're not pretty, but they're functional and were inspected by a foundation expert". So yeah, if they want someone else to come in, cool but I'm not paying for it. 

    Like, I know this isn't personal, but I feel like they lowballed, barely negotiated, and now are asking for EVERYTHING. Like, sure it's an old house, but we're not just giving it away here. Ugh. 

  • edited November 2017
    @6fsn congrats on the raise!

    @VarunaTT so glad you're on vacation now! And yes please to drunk knotting - sounds like it could be highly entertaining for all of us lol ;)

    Last night I really wasn't feeling well (even more so than during the day). My headache was so much more intense, was making me feel drunk and wobbly, and I was having vision issues. Since I had similar symptoms when I was pregnant with Babypants - and ultimately that's what landed me in the hospital with an earlier-than-planned induction, I took my BP last night. It was high. And this morning was even higher - 173/116. I know. I need to take care of myself. So I am going to the doctor this afternoon. 
    Good luck! I also have high blood pressure.  My doctor put me on lisinipril but a weird side effect from it is coughing.   I was fine for awhile, but then started to cough, so I took myself off it (coughing is worse!) and got a checker myself, and it's at a "low high" still, but not super high which is good.  I left on bad terms with my doc, so I'm waiting for the surgeon to request a pre op appointment and I'm going to bring it up with my doc (actually new -old doc, I've had her before at a different practice) then. Maybe there's something else that I can take and not have coughing fits with?

    Anyway, the point was - if they do put you on meds (which I think is to early to be honest) lisinipril has that weird side effect to look out for.
    I'm on labetalol but I think we need to reassess the dosage...

    That's really interesting though about the coughing side effect! I wonder why it causes that??

    Edited to fix typos - stupid mobile site lol. 
  • I would be frustrated/ livid as well @charlotte989875

  • @charlotte989675, I'm going to repeat the other PPs that it is just a bargaining tactic.  I understand why it is upsetting and annoying, but try not to take it personally or as a bad sign.  The first time I ever put an offer on a house, I also had a LONG list of items I wanted fixed after the inspection.  I didn't think I'd get everything, but they didn't agree to anything.  I countered back with my main, more expensive items (that were fair).  It was some haggling, but we eventually reached an agreement.  Though I never did buy the house for other reasons.  In retrospect, I suspect they were upset I'd sent a long list.  But I was also annoyed as hell, because I'd offered their asking price...which was on the high side anyway.  Assuming the "trade" would be they'd fix some of their deferred maintenance items during the inspection part.

    As an aside, they were complete crazy pants on some of the items, that were major safety violations.  I felt like my inspection did them a SERVICE (for those items), in alerting them to some dangerous situations.  It was a rental duplex that they didn't live in, though I was going to live on one side.  None of the wet rooms (kitchen and bath) had GFI outlets.  It was a raised house and there was a LIVE major electrical wire hanging on the ground.  They refused to fix either of those issues in our final PA, but actually did anyway, lol.  Even though I didn't buy the house, at least they did that.  No need to potentially electrify tenants or burn the house down over such easy and fairly cheap fixes, smh.

    Hopefully your buyer will "see the light" and agree to your counter.  Which sounds fair.  I'm assuming the knob and tube wiring is present, but not active?  That's how my house is.  That's how a lot of older homes are.  It's a result of people not wanting to pay a few extra dollars and/or electricians being lazy to have the old stuff removed, whenever the house was last re-wired.  It's NBD.  And I'm sure she's welcome to hire her own structural engineer to check out the beams...on her dime.  That's how that works.

    I think part of the frustration is that we accepted an offer well below asking (they're agent said it was their "best and final") and that we lived in this house all of last year since we bought, made many (many!) updates, it passed inspection for an FHA loan, and none of the items on their list are safety hazards just "recommended fixes". 

    Knob+tube is exactly correct; present in the attic, not active and insulation all expected and fine. In the response our agent even said about the posts; "they're not pretty, but they're functional and were inspected by a foundation expert". So yeah, if they want someone else to come in, cool but I'm not paying for it. 

    Like, I know this isn't personal, but I feel like they lowballed, barely negotiated, and now are asking for EVERYTHING. Like, sure it's an old house, but we're not just giving it away here. Ugh. 

    It doesn't sound like this deal meets your minimum financial standards AND they're asking for even more. Are you even going to see a return on this? If you can afford to walk away from the deal, tell them you're walking away. Something tells me they'll come back to the table with something more reasonable. 
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  • @charlotte989675, I'm going to repeat the other PPs that it is just a bargaining tactic.  I understand why it is upsetting and annoying, but try not to take it personally or as a bad sign.  The first time I ever put an offer on a house, I also had a LONG list of items I wanted fixed after the inspection.  I didn't think I'd get everything, but they didn't agree to anything.  I countered back with my main, more expensive items (that were fair).  It was some haggling, but we eventually reached an agreement.  Though I never did buy the house for other reasons.  In retrospect, I suspect they were upset I'd sent a long list.  But I was also annoyed as hell, because I'd offered their asking price...which was on the high side anyway.  Assuming the "trade" would be they'd fix some of their deferred maintenance items during the inspection part.

    As an aside, they were complete crazy pants on some of the items, that were major safety violations.  I felt like my inspection did them a SERVICE (for those items), in alerting them to some dangerous situations.  It was a rental duplex that they didn't live in, though I was going to live on one side.  None of the wet rooms (kitchen and bath) had GFI outlets.  It was a raised house and there was a LIVE major electrical wire hanging on the ground.  They refused to fix either of those issues in our final PA, but actually did anyway, lol.  Even though I didn't buy the house, at least they did that.  No need to potentially electrify tenants or burn the house down over such easy and fairly cheap fixes, smh.

    Hopefully your buyer will "see the light" and agree to your counter.  Which sounds fair.  I'm assuming the knob and tube wiring is present, but not active?  That's how my house is.  That's how a lot of older homes are.  It's a result of people not wanting to pay a few extra dollars and/or electricians being lazy to have the old stuff removed, whenever the house was last re-wired.  It's NBD.  And I'm sure she's welcome to hire her own structural engineer to check out the beams...on her dime.  That's how that works.

    I think part of the frustration is that we accepted an offer well below asking (they're agent said it was their "best and final") and that we lived in this house all of last year since we bought, made many (many!) updates, it passed inspection for an FHA loan, and none of the items on their list are safety hazards just "recommended fixes". 

    Knob+tube is exactly correct; present in the attic, not active and insulation all expected and fine. In the response our agent even said about the posts; "they're not pretty, but they're functional and were inspected by a foundation expert". So yeah, if they want someone else to come in, cool but I'm not paying for it. 

    Like, I know this isn't personal, but I feel like they lowballed, barely negotiated, and now are asking for EVERYTHING. Like, sure it's an old house, but we're not just giving it away here. Ugh. 

    That would annoy me too. I"m putting in my house now for personal use, yeah, but my main goal is resale value!

  • congrats 6!
  • I think part of the frustration is that we accepted an offer well below asking (they're agent said it was their "best and final") and that we lived in this house all of last year since we bought, made many (many!) updates, it passed inspection for an FHA loan, and none of the items on their list are safety hazards just "recommended fixes". 

    Knob+tube is exactly correct; present in the attic, not active and insulation all expected and fine. In the response our agent even said about the posts; "they're not pretty, but they're functional and were inspected by a foundation expert". So yeah, if they want someone else to come in, cool but I'm not paying for it. 

    Like, I know this isn't personal, but I feel like they lowballed, barely negotiated, and now are asking for EVERYTHING. Like, sure it's an old house, but we're not just giving it away here. Ugh. 

    I definitely get it, it's the sense of unfairness that is galling.  The fact that it passed inspection for an FHA loan says a lot about the great condition of the house.  Those are so strict.  I've heard of houses being rejected for an FHA loan on first try because some outlet covers were missing, lol.  But it's technically a safety issue!  So, there ya go.

    Now, my negotiation strategy is exactly the opposite from my first (almost) house buying experience.  I typically only put offers for under-valued properties.  I only care about and negotiate for major stuff.  But that has come with experience of having a rough idea what things cost, time involved, and what we can DIY.  I once asked for an HVAC system to be installed.  I knew that was reaching and was told to go take a flying leap off a short pier.   Said in banker language (it was a foreclosure).  But I got $3K off the price.  My other deals I've just asked for money off the price. 

    ---------------------------------------------------

    One of my deals was a fixer-upper duplex.  Major fixer-upper.  All of that property's myriad of problems were already taken into consideration in my offer.  Which (I think) was $2K less than their asking.  I always do an inspection for major systems and foundation, but initially had no plans of countering.  That inspection was money well spent!  According to my inspector, the foundation hadn't failed yet, but it would within the next few years.  There were big gaps where the land had pulled away from the foundation.  My inspector told me the remedy was to fill the entire underside of the house with a sand mixture.

    I mean, sand, right?  How expensive can that be?  He told me it was $4K-$5K :o.  To be fair, that does include a company with the labor, expertise, and equipment to pump that stuff under the house.  I legitimately think the seller (another investor) was shocked also.  I don't think he knew.  But, either way, he immediately offered to take $4K off the price since that was not a repair that he had included in his numbers with me.

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  • pegasuskatpegasuskat member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited November 2017
    @6fsn congrats on the raise!

    @VarunaTT so glad you're on vacation now! And yes please to drunk knotting - sounds like it could be highly entertaining for all of us lol ;)

    Last night I really wasn't feeling well (even more so than during the day). My headache was so much more intense, was making me feel drunk and wobbly, and I was having vision issues. Since I had similar symptoms when I was pregnant with Babypants - and ultimately that's what landed me in the hospital with an earlier-than-planned induction, I took my BP last night. It was high. And this morning was even higher - 173/116. I know. I need to take care of myself. So I am going to the doctor this afternoon. 
    Good luck! I also have high blood pressure.  My doctor put me on lisinipril but a weird side effect from it is coughing.   I was fine for awhile, but then started to cough, so I took myself off it (coughing is worse!) and got a checker myself, and it's at a "low high" still, but not super high which is good.  I left on bad terms with my doc, so I'm waiting for the surgeon to request a pre op appointment and I'm going to bring it up with my doc (actually new -old doc, I've had her before at a different practice) then. Maybe there's something else that I can take and not have coughing fits with?

    Anyway, the point was - if they do put you on meds (which I think is to early to be honest) lisinipril has that weird side effect to look out for.
    I had the coughing with lisinipril too, it took 2 years to figure it out. It was so bad I peed my pants daily because of the stupid cough. It took about 3-4 months off to go back to normal and no coughing!
  • I had the coughing with lisinipril too, it took 2 years to figure it out. It was so bad I peed my pants daily because of the stupid cough. It took about 3-4 months off to go back to normal and no coughing!
    yes! it took a whole month (I was only on it for a few months) for it to stop!  people at work were worried and asked me to stay home from work! and yes to the peeing of the pants. Every cough.  Every sneeze.  I hate getting old! 

  • @charlotte989875 i know you want to be done with the house, but honestly would probably be really tempted to tell them no/walk away. If you've already grudgingly accepted a lowball, and this isn't a major inspection finding, there's no reason to do anything else. 

    I have a purchasing background so I would likely be doing the same thing that your buyers are doing - offering at the lowest possible end of acceptable and asking for the world. best outcome is that you give me everything i ask for, likely is that you grant a few concessions, worst case you say no to everything and one of us decides not to continue with the deal. not sure how much you know about the buyer's financial situation or personal situation, but it sounds like if necessary, you guys could hold on to the house a little longer and probably get a better deal. if they need you more than you need them, it puts you in a stronger position. 

    when we sold our house in PA, we had a corporate buyout option available. we needed to go through a stricter inspection and fix a bit more to qualify - but my company would pay us the same price we had paid for the house ~2 years prior. (plus cover all of the realtor fees/closing costs). we listed the house right after the market fell, so only ended up getting one offer. they insanely lowballed it, and when i looked at their financials, they were never going to be able to afford the house. We gave them a very reasonable counter, and they tried to counter that with another lowball with a ton of contingencies (like selling their apartment/townhouse first). I told our RE to stop wasting our time, because in reality we were doing these people a favor in not selling them a house they couldn't afford. 
  • @charlotte989875 I can't remember but are you in a position of needing to sell it now?  If you're not then you can be a little more forceful with the approach but if you trust your realtor you can go with that too.

    DH bought his condo in 2005 at the market peak and then when we went to sell it in 2010 it was a damn joke.  We had showings for months and maybe one lowball offer and said that we aren't going to lose that much money to sell it so now it's rented.  It was a pain, we moved 5 days before DD was born but we also knew we weren't going to be entering further debt by renting.  Could you do that? 
  • @*Barbie* and @banana468. We can hold on to it longer, and it basically just delays us buying out here, but we’re not in a position where we absolutely have to sell right now. We responded and said we’d do HVAC service+outlet, and our agent wrote a long memo about all the other requests referencing their report, and our two reports. If they don’t accept I think we may walk. H is ready to, our agent said she almost would have recommended walking at the lowball, and I’m ready to walk if they insist on more. I hate having to hold on to it longer, but none of us feel good about this 
  • Last week I got an email from an employer I interviewed with some time ago asking if I would be interested in an offer of employment from the company. I would, because the job and the company sounded good when I interviewed with them, and responded so. He immediately responded that he'd get back to me "early this week."

    He hasn't gotten back to me.
  • Jen4948 said:
    Last week I got an email from an employer I interviewed with some time ago asking if I would be interested in an offer of employment from the company. I would, because the job and the company sounded good when I interviewed with them, and responded so. He immediately responded that he'd get back to me "early this week."

    He hasn't gotten back to me.
    dammit!  lets just hope he's swamped and you'll hear back today or tomorrow? 

  • Jen4948 said:
    Last week I got an email from an employer I interviewed with some time ago asking if I would be interested in an offer of employment from the company. I would, because the job and the company sounded good when I interviewed with them, and responded so. He immediately responded that he'd get back to me "early this week."

    He hasn't gotten back to me.


    Good luck with that!

    I wouldn't lose heart yet!  Even for filling a job opening, people get busy.  Or maybe there are a lot of steps and red tape involved at that company, that just didn't get done as early as he expected.

    You did say it was "some time ago" that you interviewed.  Yet, they are just now getting back to you with a potential offer. 

    If you haven't heard anything back by Tues. morning of next week (because Mondays are busy, lol), I'd call him back or e-mail him inquiring about the status of your employment offer.

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  • CMGragain said:
    @sparklepants41, are you talking about MIGRAINE headaches?  Your symptoms sound like this could be the case.  I've had them most of my life.  Talk to your doctor about this!
    Yes - I have had migraines since I was 13. However, I had preeclampsia when I was pregnant, so my doctor and I are taking precautions to make sure I am not still at risk for postpartum eclampsia. We want to get to the root of whether it's the high blood pressure causing these particular headaches lately (dangerous) or if my migraines are back and the pain from them is resulting in high blood pressure (not dangerous). 
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