Wedding Woes

90 Day Fiancé *spoiler alert*

thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN
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I may have missed it, but are any of you watching 90 day Fiancé? If so, what are your thoughts?! I’m seeing lots of cultural breakdowns. 

Nicole and Azan need to give it up already. Neither of them is willing to meet the other where they’re at. They both want the other person to completely change their personalities in order to make things work. Not healthy. 

Elizabeth and Andrei... where to begin. I kind of feel bad for him because his culture teaches him to be one way but Elizabeth wants to do whatever she wants. It’s weird. 

Josh and Aika- Aika is getting on my nerves. She just said she knew one month into their relationship that Josh had a vasectomy but now she’s acting like not having kids would be a dealbreakwr for her. Like, girlfriend, you breezed through this for how long and now it’s a problem??? No. 

Molly and Luis - he’s a jerk. They’re not a good match. 

David and Annie- he’s creepy. 

Evelyn and David-  they might be the only couple with a chance. But they are making me nervous. DH and I refrained from sex (with each other) before getting married, but we still discussed expectations, fears, etc. This couple isn’t doing that. If you can’t even talk about sex prior to getting married, how do you expect to communicate about even more difficult subjects??

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Re: 90 Day Fiancé *spoiler alert*

  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North
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    I've watched before, but haven't gotten into this season.  Not sure fi the first few PVR'd and haven't had time to check.  It used to be my guilty pleasure, but TLC started to drag things out too long for my liking
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  • I watch! I'm 1/2 way through the most recent episode although I sometimes search out spoilers because I always want to know who is actually together.

    Nicole and Azan - yea they need to end it, it isn't healthy although I will say for all of her faults I am pleased that Nicole does try to communicate and brings stuff up to him (although not in a good way). And why does she have May call him daddy, ugh

    Molly and Luis - he is a dick!  I didn't mind him at first but as it continues to play out it is obvious he isn't ok with someone who has kids and I really hope she cuts him off.

    Elizabeth and Andrea - he seems controlling and I worry about Elizabeth for that, especially since she seems to want to just follow him like a puppy and his way is the right way. She needs to cut the strings from her parents, especially her dad - I mean cmon you're 27.  I laughed at her elaborate wedding on a snowy cliff dreams - uhhh you get 90 days to get married so unless you started this stuff early and had people on board it isn't happening (except as the PPD you're planning.....)

    David and Annie - he is creepy, and he dresses so terribly LOL. I would love to know how much $$ he owes his friend Chris.

    Evelyn and Davis - at first I thought they had the best chance but I'm not so sure. I think they might stay together for religious reasons but I'm not sure it would be happy. She is 18, she hasn't lived, and seems ok with that - she wants to stay in her small town with her family band forever whereas he wants to travel and explore. Those are two highly different outlooks and they can't be happy if there isn't some compromise.

    Josh and Aika - I kind of forget about this couple. What was up with the modeling thing, like yes we want to sign you, "well I want to have a baby sometime so I can't do it" - it was just odd.
  • short+sassyshort+sassy
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    edited December 2017

    I've been completely addicted to 90-Day Fiance and all its spin-offs, since Day One!

    Though, in previous seasons, I usually liked most of the couples/people involved.  Most of them are pretty awful people this season.  Like what happens to a lot of reality shows, it seems like 90-DF has started tinkering a lot with the "reality" part.  And either purposely picking people that viewers will love to hate or shaping what's filmed to be that.

    But on to my gossipy thoughts about this seasons' couples, lol:

    Insider info -- the show pays for all or most travel expenses, but each couple only gets $500 each, per season.

    Nicole and Azan -- she seems to have matured a bit since last season, but that is only a relative term since there was a LOT of improvement needed anyway.  They would be AWFUL together in the long-term and it's a shame they can't see that.  Also horrified she was coercing her daughter to call him "daddy", before the little girl had even met him.  Nicole, you're not in the school yard at recess anymore "playing house".  This is real life.  It also disgusts me that she doesn't earn much money...has a 2-year-old daughter to think of...yet sends money to this guy and apparently took off 6 weeks from work for her latest jaunt over to see him.  As an aside, his family is so nice!!!  In both seasons, they were so sweet to her and welcomed her with open arms.

    Elizabeth and Andrei -- On the one hand, I can't stand Andrei's chauvinistic views and think Elizabeth is NUTS to overlook them.  But I have to give him credit, he's a straight-shooting guy.  He owns it and has never pretended to be something he isn't.  While there's nothing wrong with being a SAHF/M, I do side-eye that Elizabeth seems to be have been already expecting that for her whole adult life.  I mean, she's 27-years-old and has only EVER had a P/T job with her dad's company.  I'm with @kvruns on her "wedding vision".  To get married on a mountain, in the snow, and ride in on a white horse.  Let me guess she has either no or limited riding experience.  Yet expects to traverse a snowy mountain, while wearing a white ball gown.  She needs to adult-up and fast.

    Molly and Luis -- At first, I liked both of them.  Though Molly has always given off an unattractive "desperate" vibe.  But now that they have been living together, I hope they see how wrong they are for each other.  Luis has already been miserable living in the U.S.  I think she was initially pushing her daughters at him too hard and his response was to distance himself even more.  He's now turned into a big jerk.  He also seems to want her to wait on him hand and foot, even though she works and he sits around all day.  I realize he is not allowed to work yet, but still.  I learned from another board that Molly used to be on another reality show called "Double D Divas" (something like that), since she owns a lingerie shop.

    Josh and Aika -- Yeah, they're just so odd.  Dude, you're in your 40's.  Maybe it's time to stop living with roommates.  But the real puzzler is that she stayed with him, after learning fairly early on that he had a vasectomy.  And apparently she "can't imagine her life without kids".  As for him, I don't think he even knows her.  He can't seem to see past her good looks.  Not that she's a bad person, but he's acting like he's marrying this pretty doll.

    David and Annie -- Annie is one of the few people I like.  She seems so sweet, but very naïve.  I can't even begin to fathom what she sees in David.  He's a loser and a drunk.  What kind of grown man lets his BFF support his living in Thailand for two years?  Now, we find out in the last episode, that he also cheated on his wife and pretty much abandoned his teenage son and adult daughter when he left the country.

    Evelyn and David are my least favorite couple.  I cannot stand her.  Though, she is only 18.  Hopefully she can grow into being a worthwhile human being, instead of staying an entitled and selfish child.  She's the one who seemed ready to call off the wedding because David didn't want to force his groomsmen to pay to rent tuxes and wear suits instead.  That's just one example of how backwards her priorities are.  She doesn't even pretend that it is "their" wedding.  She always says "my" wedding and the "bride's" day.  I also find it frustrating that it is totes cool for him to make such a sacrifice to be with her, but she won't even consider going a few states away...in a bigger city with a warmer climate...to make him happy.

    But then he, a grown man in his late 20's, was so weird about refusing to talk to her about the fears she had with losing her virginity on their wedding night.  Major red flag.  My suspicion?  I'm wondering if he isn't the virgin he pretends to be and is worried he will come off to "knowledgeable".

    More dirt on them.  I belong to a 90-DF forum.  They tried to cover up the social media past between the two of them, but it was unearthed.  They've been romantically involved, at least online, since she was 15 and he was 24!!!!  Really, dude?  Trolling for teenagers as a grown man?  Real "Christian-like".


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  • Interesting on the social media past. I mean I get it, because I knew they met online and if she's just 18 then she must have been under 18 when they first started communicating. I really like him although him not wanting to talk about stuff seemed odd but I thought maybe it was just not wanting to talk about it on camera. 

    Apparently David and his friend Chris also had, or tried to have, some pseudo reality show called Fantasy Thailand (or something similar). Just so many things wrong there. 
    short+sassy
  • kvruns said:
    Interesting on the social media past. I mean I get it, because I knew they met online and if she's just 18 then she must have been under 18 when they first started communicating. I really like him although him not wanting to talk about stuff seemed odd but I thought maybe it was just not wanting to talk about it on camera. 

    Apparently David and his friend Chris also had, or tried to have, some pseudo reality show called Fantasy Thailand (or something similar). Just so many things wrong there. 

    I hadn't thought of that.  That would certainly make a lot more sense.  Though he made it sound like it was and would always be a taboo topic.  It's just sad to sometimes see a person's belief in "no sex before marriage" tweak almost more into a sub-conscious "all sex is sinful" kind of mindset.

    Interesting about David and Chris!  Maybe that was what originally sent David to Thailand...on Chris's dime, lol.

    If you saw the Before the 90 Days series, there was a couple named Darcy and Jesse (he was from Amsterdam).  Darcy and her twin sister run a fashion design company and/or sell their own line of clothes (something like that).  Apparently, she and her sister had previously been on a reality show.  It was their own show and had decent enough popularity to run a season or two.  I think it was called Life in the Mirror.

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  • I remember Darcy but didn't know she was on a reality show before that. I had to laugh at her dating profile pix and then the reality is way different when she was in real life.  Talk about another controlling douche with Jesse
    short+sassy
  • short+sassyshort+sassy
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    edited December 2017
    kvruns said:
    I remember Darcy but didn't know she was on a reality show before that. I had to laugh at her dating profile pix and then the reality is way different when she was in real life.  Talk about another controlling douche with Jesse


    He was another one that I really liked, at first.  But, wow, he really tuned into an emotional abuse monster.  And, yikes!, she had an even higher desperation vibe than Molly.

    I have no issue with older women dating younger men.  It's about time that trend is no longer between older men and younger women.  But, like any relationship, it needs to be done from a place of confidence.  And a place of understanding that a person who is 20 years one's junior is going to be in a different part of life and lacking the same level of experience.

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  • But what about Jesse's Stepdad - that guy, and Jesse's mom, had a lot of personality!
  • kvruns said:
    But what about Jesse's Stepdad - that guy, and Jesse's mom, had a lot of personality!

    That is an understatement, lol!  I don't mean that in a bad way, it's great when people march to the beat of their own drummer.  But they are definitely way outside of the social norm in their style choices.

    His stepdad was a JERK, though!  I was horrified when he basically said that Darcy was out of his son's league.

    One problem for them that got really glossed over is the fact that Jesse wants children "someday" and Darcy also wants children with him.  Except she is in her mid-40's!!!  I get it.  I'm only a couple years younger than her and feel as young and vibrant as ever.  Well, almost, lol.  But if I were to try and have a child, the stats are that my eggs and fertility would not be feeling the same way.  I suggest they both make a 1-minute Google search and face the harsh reality for both the chances of getting pregnant at various ages over 40, along with the huge uptick for miscarriages.

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  • It has definitely been an interesting season so far.

    Nicole and Azan might find their answers if he does come to the US and see what his life will be like. I think she really should respect his culture while there. She never should have made Azan ask his aunt for them to share a room. He has known how she looked physically since the beginning. His belittling to try to change her is appalling.

    Evelyn and David - she has been selfish since the beginning. She totally ignored him when he tried to ask for help to host his family. Hope they enjoy there cake just for the bride and groom. She says she has seen it done “all of the time”.

    Molly and Luis. I really think she is a sweet lady and he does love her but his new life is way different than he thought it would be. She did try to push him to bond with her kids by himself while she was gone all day. Maybe that could have been planned better.

    David and Annie - Run Annie, run fast!

    Josh and Aika -I haven’t figured that shit show out yet.
    short+sassy
  • I am a few episodes behind, but these are my thoughts:

    Nicole and Azan - Where do I even begin?  Her priorities are so out of whack.  She seems just desperate for any sort of male attention and validation that she is willing to take what little money she has and send it to a guy who clearly is just gritting his teeth and trying to get through every moment with her.  And the fact that she told her daughter to call him daddy just grosses me out.  The fact that she has cheated on him a number of times is shocking to me.  And I hate that her dad is going to be stuck with Azan when they eventually split up.

    Evelyn and David - I have not much more to add.  She needs to grow up and get her priorities straight.

    Molly and Luis - I really like her!  It made me really uncomfortable when Luis was telling her little girl that he was her new dad.  

    David and Annie - ugh.  

    Josh and Aika - now this one is interesting.  We couldn't figure out if he had teeth for the first few episodes.  Then the information came out about his criminal past and I was really grossed out by him in general.  

    Re Jesse and Darcy - H and I like to whisper to each other, "I just need you to do one thing....never have another drink again.  Just promise me."  It cracks us up because of how overly controlling it all is.  On that subject, the reunion special made me so uncomfortable and made me think that he is the kind of guy who I would suspect would hit his wife in the future.  He has serious anger issues.

    short+sassy
  • @debbeau, yes!  You hit on another eye roll with Evelyn.  Her whole "I've dreamed of my wedding my WHOLE LIFE," as an excuse for why her behavior can be appalling to their guests.  Really, Evelyn?  And, outside of childhood, exactly how long has your WHOLE life been?  A few months?  Maybe a year?  STFU.  And if she is actually paying enough attention to the cake to have seen "all the time" that the wedding party has a better one (which I doubt), then maybe she should think about how obvious their cheapness will be to their guests. 

    Though, as a landlady, I would salivate to have a tenant like her and save a ton on renovations.  She thought that one kitchen for the apartment they saw was so "charming and retro".  WTF?  I've seen elements of old kitchens that have some retro fun, but I can't imagine anyone describing this one that way.  It was just old, worn, and very outdated.

    @Ro041, I am cracking up that you and your H have turned that into a running joke.  Hilarious!  I have been curious about that conversation, though.  I could see a conversation like that being appropriate if Jesse was seeing something that the audience wasn't and feels she has a drinking problem.  But except for that one night where she was a bit drunken, that was not the impression I had. 

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  • @short+sassy - Jesse also admitted to calling her a bitch on a number of occasions so my guess is he is just a controlling jerk instead of her having a drinking problem.

  • Ro041 said:
    @short+sassy - Jesse also admitted to calling her a bitch on a number of occasions so my guess is he is just a controlling jerk instead of her having a drinking problem.


    Most definitely!  He has certainly shown his controlling jerkiness on a number of occasions.  That was the only one where maybe, if she'd shown signs of alcoholism, it would be an appropriate conversation.  But, based on his other behaviors, my money would also be on it is just another way he is trying to mold her to EXACTLY fit his expectations, instead of accepting her for who she is.

    I also think I remember him using that creepy abuser-like phrase in regards to the drinking, ie "If you loved me, you'd..."

    I've only had one controlling b/f, and that was one of his favorite phrases when we disagreed on something, smh.  I finally started countering back with things like, "Well, if you really loved ME, you wouldn't be threatening to break up with me over something as asinine as a girl's night out for my friend's birthday."  My attitude shift was the beginning of the end of that relationship.  Good riddance!

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    Ro041
  • What is Josh's criminal past? 

  • Though, as a landlady, I would salivate to have a tenant like her and save a ton on renovations.  She thought that one kitchen for the apartment they saw was so "charming and retro".  WTF?  I've seen elements of old kitchens that have some retro fun, but I can't imagine anyone describing this one that way.  It was just old, worn, and very outdated.


    OMG yes that one apartment with the awful kitchen she kept saying how great it was. It almost seemed like she was just willing to love everything about it because he expressed displeasure with it. He was like wtf is this place
    short+sassythefanciestbeckler
  • Thanks for the link!  That was eye opening.  Major spoiler alert, apparently Josh and Aika got married.  So did Evelyn and David.  In Boston a couple months ago.  Apparently small-town girl's Claremont, NH is good enough for them to live in.  But not good enough for their wedding.  I hope David pointed that out, but probably not.

    I'd read that Molly had multiple DUI charges and a possession of marijuana charge, but had forgotten about it.  Sounds like Luis should have been the one to say, "I just need you to do one thing....never have another drink again.  Just promise me." lol.

    I forget his name, but the creepy guy with the Brazilian g/f in Before the 90 Days also had a disturbing criminal record.  He'd been arrested twice for stalking two different women.  He also went to prison for arson.  He sent something on fire, in anger.  I think it was an ex's belongings.  Even before I knew about his arrest record, that guy just gave me the willies.  There was just something so "off" about him.

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    Ro041
  • Speaking of all the creepiness and arrest records, I really wish they didn't air this show in other countries, lol.  They're really not picking the "best and the brightest" for U.S. citizen representation.  To put it mildly!     
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    thefanciestbeckler
  • @short+sassy - Paul and Karinie!  So cringeworthy....

    short+sassy
  • I watch the show, and all of these couples are a total dumpster fire. 
     
    Nicole and Azan
     -- should not be involved, at all. He's not attracted to her, she has no interest in learning about or respecting his culture. Neither of them has a real job - his excuse of "i can't work because i can't talk to her" is absolute bullshit. I think her parents are insane for agreeing to co-sign as his sponsor because there's no way in hell that they will last the 10 years. I also felt really bad for Azan's aunt- she seemed really sweet and went out of her way to try and make Nicole and May feel welcome and share the culture/food. 

    Elizabeth and Andrei -- I think he's a chauvinistic dick, but at the same time, that's also representative of his culture. He has been consistent, if nothing else. Elizabeth - good lord. How are you 27 and don't have a job beyond working part time for your family business? Her PPD was also ridiculous, and then the whole hurry up and get married in 2 weeks so he can get a job - Why in the hell isn't she working?

    Molly and Luis -- I remember her other show about the bra shop. Her level of desperation has always been offputting, but he's gotten to be an even bigger lazy jerk as the weeks have gone by. I think the fact that she just moved him in without her kids even meeting him and being on board was really selfish, and the biggest issue. Had she taken the time to introduce them and let them build a relationship, they may never have made it to the 90 days. The explosion this past week was amazing. DK was all - WTF is Luis talking about, and i'm going "classic deflection" - if he starts talking about the devil, it distracts from her chewing him out for being lazy and a poor excuse for a stepdad.

    Josh and Aika -- Aika seems like she could do better. Josh just comes across as a loser. I'm also puzzled about the staying together when they are so far apart on having kids. 

    David and Annie -- I think Annie is naive - i'm thinking she sees David as a wealthy American, and an opportunity to make a better life for herself and her family. David is another loser. I hope that Annie has seen enough in the last few weeks, and heard enough from David's kids to make the (correct) decision to get TF back to Thailand, where (at a minimum) her family has the 2 new water buffalo and whatever dowry he did manage to pay. Chris needs to stop supporting David, and Chris not telling his wife what he was committing to with co-sponsoring Annie is divorce-worthy. one of my favorite WTF moments with them was when Chris was saying about Annie contributing at his house since they were staying rent free (cooking dinner sometimes - ok, reasonable. giving Chris a massage, not so much.)

    Evelyn and David - She's really immature (even for 18), and he's nearly as immature as she is. This basically struck me as the Duggar version of 90 day fiance - hurrying up to get married because no premarital sex. The fact that David can't discuss sex with his future wife is what struck me as immature - i think for the most part, his other requests were reasonable in terms of moving to a larger city/going further south/not making his family and friends shell out thousands on attending a wedding (especially when they're only going to qualify for the "B" cake.)

    before the 90 days:

    Darcy and Jesse: originally, I liked Jesse - he struck me as classic Dutch in terms of attitude/mannerisms - very straightforward and dry - then her got emotionally and verbally abusive and i started to like him a lot less. Darcy is Molly desperation x3 + way too much plastic surgery/fake tan/mutton dressed as lamb. They need to break up.

    Paul and Karine: this was such a hot mess. it's sad that conditions are so bad for her in Brazil that she would marry Paul just for a chance to get TF out. Between his mom giving him a clump of hair, the fact that they couldn't communicate beyond the app, the 4 trunks worth of PPE and supplies, his arson and stalking and domestic abuse criminal record, him asking her to take a pregnancy and STD test out of the blue, and then the whole mugging/freakout saga - it was pure insanity. TLC saw that and was like, "this will write itself - hopefully all of the producers and film crew make it out alive..."

    thefanciestbecklershort+sassy
  • @*barbie* - the hair was everything I needed in reality tv until Paul gave Karine his hair because, that's what you do?  I didn't think it could get anymore awkward...and then it did!!!

    thefanciestbecklershort+sassy
  • @Ro041 having a clump of someone's hair could be useful. think of the possibilities - you could frame them for a crime! you could make a voodoo doll!
    thefanciestbeckler
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN
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    Re: Darcy and Jesse. Yeah he’s a controlling jerk. When she first started talking about him I thought “there’s no way that a guy who is this attractive is real and/or going to go for a woman like her (age, too much plastic surgery, obvious fake hair extensions, etc.)”, but obviously I was wrong. Yeah, he’s hot, but the way he treats her scares me. The fact that she’s willing to put up with it scares me even more. Like, girlfriend, are you that desperate for some Dutch arm candy that you will throw your worth out the window? It’s just sad. 

    Paul and Karine- holy freakin crap. They kept me angry the whole time the before the 90 days show was on. He gives me the creeps x10000. And poor Karine is likely just trying to make a better life for herself. The second his mom handed her the wad of hair I was done. But also couldn’t look away. Lol. 

    short+sassy
  • I just finished the episode of Josh and Aika yelling at each other about the whole baby thing. Holy ted flags

     Paul “Pole”’was creepy AF. And wtf with bringing all the supplies. I also read something about him recently starting several go fund me pages to buy Karinnne Christmas presents, decorations etc 
  • edited December 2017
    Speaking of all the creepiness and arrest records, I really wish they didn't air this show in other countries, lol.  They're really not picking the "best and the brightest" for U.S. citizen representation.  To put it mildly!     
    If it makes you feel any better, we don’t get it here; much to my dismay. But we do have Fox News so not much better, lol.

    eta: please keep updating because I am ‘watching’ vicariously through y’all.
     And Re: to people staying because they think so-n-so is a rich American. I BLOWS MY MIND what some people think about America. The propaganda machine is working full steam over seas. You can actually see their minds break when you explain to them the reality of health care, education, women’s mortality rate during childbirth, voting laws, tax laws, etc. It is crazy. 
    short+sassy
  • Speaking of all the creepiness and arrest records, I really wish they didn't air this show in other countries, lol.  They're really not picking the "best and the brightest" for U.S. citizen representation.  To put it mildly!     
    If it makes you feel any better, we don’t get it here; much to my dismay. But we do have Fox News so not much better, lol.

    eta: please keep updating because I am ‘watching’ vicariously through y’all.
     And Re: to people staying because they think so-n-so is a rich American. I BLOWS MY MIND what some people think about America. The propaganda machine is working full steam over seas. You can actually see their minds break when you explain to them the reality of health care, education, women’s mortality rate during childbirth, voting laws, tax laws, etc. It is crazy. 
    At least with Annie she has to know David isn't a rich American. She knows he is borrowing money left and right from Chris yet she still went through with it. 
  • oh - interesting tidbit re: Annie and her dowry.
    I googled to see what a typical dowry was in Thailand, and it looks like Annie's parents were really banking on (stupid) rich American. Her parents asked for 500,000 bhat, which is roughly $15K, and the 2 water buffalo and the gold - and he agreed to it, with the 500,000 to be paid over time. From what I read, a middle class, well educated woman, who is a virgin and has never married will usually get a dowry of 100-300K bhat. Based on this, it looks like David (technical, Chris) is paying significantly more than would be standard.
  • @kvruns oh well that goood????? *skeptical face* @*Barbie* said she thought he was a wealthy American so apologies if I was way off base. Like I said, can’t actually watch the show (but love it). I swear I am going to take a secret vacation back to the states, tell no one, hole up in a hotel somewhere and binge watch MTV and TLC, lol.
    short+sassy
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