Uninvited Wedding Guest

OliveOilsMom

I’m an executive assistant. My boss made an unpopular personnel decision, and I’m the one who is bearing the brunt of it because everyone is upset with my him. He went to a coworker’s wedding because he had a question about something and she was the only one who could answer it. One of the groom’s relatives is a police officer and she had to escort my boss out because he wouldn’t leave. He tried to have the coworker written up at work over what happened, and she ended up quitting before she left for her honeymoon.

Many people here are upset at my boss over this. There is overt and passive aggressive behavior towards him, things like not inviting him to meetings or his mail being lost instead of delivered.

I don’t agree with his actions, but all this behavior towards him is interfering with my ability to do my job as his assistant. My boss thinks I am dropping the ball and everyone else thinks I am on his side. My boss is mostly oblivious to people being upset with him since I have to deal with them instead of him. I try to stay neutral and just address the problems I’m having with being able to do my job, but my boss and my coworkers don’t listen. My boss especially thinks I’m exaggerating. How can I get them to listen, or at least keep me out of the middle of this?

CharmedPam

LW needs to quit and find a new job.  I heard there's an opening at a place where the boss only asks you to send work related news at grave sites.....

kvruns

WTF on these places/bosses. 

short+sassy

@OliveOilsMom, is this another Ask A Manager, worst boss of the year contender, lol?

If the gift was generous enough, my boss could have had a few minutes of my time at my wedding, lol.

The LW needs to keep documentation of EVERYTHING.  Especially e-mails, both received and sent.  I wouldn't even delete my trash folder.  If I didn't receive something that boss or I needed, I would "pretend" to research my inbox and show my documentation (if needed) that it was never received.  I previously had a job where I had to do that (groan).  I saved myself a "scolding" on multiple occasions.  Such as, "No, you told me to do X this way and not do Y."  Then ((BAM)), printed e-mail to prove it.

banana468

LW needs to document all the things.   It can be as simple as, "

"I have the following things you requested.   Per our conversation I'll do X,Y, and Z.  Please email me if anything needs to be adjusted." 

As far as the rest of the issues, she also needs to document with the workers.  

Two wrongs don't make a right here. 

OliveOilsMom

@short+sassy This was not a contender for worst boss of 2017, but I did pull this from Ask a Manager.  They have some good ones there!  It was where I found the ghosted ex-gf was now my boss post!

southernbelle0915

How does someone causing such major issues in the work place still have a job? I mean, lost employees, reduced production, dysfunctional work environment....the only company that would tolerate that is either in the red or a family run business playing politics. 

short+sassy

southernbelle0915 said:

How does someone causing such major issues in the work place still have a job? I mean, lost employees, reduced production, dysfunctional work environment....the only company that would tolerate that is either in the red or a family run business playing politics. 

During my brief stint in retail management (gas station/convenience store), it was simply stunning what the store manager got away with and still kept his job.

• Had 3 employees file a joint harassment lawsuit against him (and I'm assuming the company) at the first station he worked at.  His punishment?  Move him to a different store.  Unfortunately, it was my store he got moved to.
• The overnight manager complained to HR that he berated her relentlessly (he did).  They moved HER to a different store.
• I was the asst. manager and filed a complaint with HR when one of our Hispanic employees came to me and told me he had called her a "puta" (whore in Spanish).  About two weeks later, "investigators" came to the store and interviewed every employee privately, on if they had ever felt harassed by/had a problem with another store employee or vendor.  Because of the timing, I can only assume that was primarily about him.  I don't know what others said about him.  But I repeated the story I heard and threw in a couple more less egregious nuggets.  Nothing happened.  He was still working there when I left, months after that.

Our regional manager was his BFF.  Soooo...yeeaaahhh.  This is a huge and enormously profitable Fortune 500 company.  All around, they had an "ash and trash" attitude about their employees.  Oh!  Now!  Don't get me wrong.  They would and did fire store managers if his/her store wasn't performing.  But harassing employees and addressing them with a racial slur?  Apparently that was NBD, smh.

InLoveInQueens

banana468 said:

LW needs to document all the things.   It can be as simple as, "

"I have the following things you requested.   Per our conversation I'll do X,Y, and Z.  Please email me if anything needs to be adjusted." 

As far as the rest of the issues, she also needs to document with the workers.  

Two wrongs don't make a right here. 

My boss has CYA engraved in the back of our eyelids so we see those letters as we sleep. You have no idea how many times a quick "as discussed in our meeting, I am doing ::this:: and you will do ::that:: and when complete we'll do ::other thing::" can save your ass when they forget and want to blame you. I've [subtly] rubbed emails in client's noses before, when they try and claim we never told them something, while I have multiple emails requesting things or advising them of deadlines or meetings.