Moms and Maids
SoonToBeSmith0512
member
Is this a Good BM Gift?




Hi ladies,
I'm getting married in a few months and starting to think of BM gift ideas. I’m planning on gifting each girl jewelry for the wedding and a monogrammed tank for getting ready in, though I am NOT considering these their gifts.
I’ve been thinking that for an actual thank you gift that I would give each girl a framed picture of the two of us along with a handwritten note. Was thinking about doing a cute Kate Spade frame or something nice that the girls could use for a long time if they wanted to swap out the pic for one of their families, etc.
What do you guys think of that? I want to give them something nice and sentimental but still like the idea of the gift being consistent across the group so there is no room for comparison (I have a couple sisters who would likely to that). Any other ideas along those same lines other than a framed pic?
Thanks for any input!
I'm getting married in a few months and starting to think of BM gift ideas. I’m planning on gifting each girl jewelry for the wedding and a monogrammed tank for getting ready in, though I am NOT considering these their gifts.
I’ve been thinking that for an actual thank you gift that I would give each girl a framed picture of the two of us along with a handwritten note. Was thinking about doing a cute Kate Spade frame or something nice that the girls could use for a long time if they wanted to swap out the pic for one of their families, etc.
What do you guys think of that? I want to give them something nice and sentimental but still like the idea of the gift being consistent across the group so there is no room for comparison (I have a couple sisters who would likely to that). Any other ideas along those same lines other than a framed pic?
Thanks for any input!
Re: Is this a Good BM Gift?
"Getting ready outfits," especially if they're monogrammed, personalized or have "wedding" messages, tend to be unappreciated by their recipients and are definitely unpopular in this forum. And many people do not want to be photographed while "getting ready."
Also, gifts should ideally be tailored to each individual's personal interests and tastes. My SIL gave an engraved candle holder with a "personalized" message on it to each of her bridesmaids, including me, and I have never found a use for it. It sits in a cabinet collecting dust. I live in an apartment complex that prohibits lighting candles.
Don't worry about being "consistent" beyond the monetary value of the gifts. Comparisons are not important as long as the gifts are of relatively equal financial value. Ideally, present them to your bridesmaids individually and not as a group, and that should cut down further on comparisons.
I’m not a frame person so that gift would be wasted on me but you know your friends better. I honestly loved that I once received a gift card to Chapters as my friend knew I loved to read. You are on point with a handwritten note. I’ve photographed the notes I received to ensure that I always have the messages to view on my hard drive.
Totally understand that many do not like matching outfits or photos getting ready, but this particular group of women loves all things matching and monogrammed, and this has actually been somewhat of a tradition for weddings in my circle. Of course I’d never mandate that they wear that or the particular jewelry I’ve picked if they’re uncomfortable!
Personally, I would hope at this age, being competitive about gifts is long gone. However, if someone is that shallow and petty that they cannot open a gift among a group, then I don't think opening individually would solve the issue. Someone that immature would find a way to intrude and go on a "discovery mission".
It sounds to me like you're looking for an excuse to put someone down whom you don't even know.
What?
Who am I putting down?
Based on OP's comment, "I hadn’t thought about gifting individually, I may try to figure out how to make that work! Any suggestions for how to get each alone?", I was advocating for NOT needing to present gifts individually.
I never said the gift giving HAD to be a part of the wedding occasion. However, it does certainly simplify things.
You also used words like "immature," which comes off like a slam of the bridesmaids, whose views weren't presented here.
We gave everyone their gifts at the RD, before any guests got there. If you're not having a rehearsal, is there another time you'd all be together or when you'd see each woman individually? (however you choose to do things is probably fine).
Edit: words, you don't buy friends gifts for your own birthday!