Dear Prudence:
Recently, my family lost our beloved dog Pauliver. Paulie lived to the ripe old age of 12 and had to be put down due to a terminal illness. I loved Paulie and miss him dearly. I am glad I was able to be there for the last moments of his life. My sister was also there—but she wanted to take Paulie’s body home and spend one last night with him! He used to sleep in bed with her and she wanted to say goodbye. The vet told us that the body could attract flies and “get messy” soon, and I suggested that we should take him home and bury him right away instead. My sister agreed. We said our goodbyes, buried him, each tossed a handful of dirt on his grave, and planted flowers. Two days later I saw something she posted online that said she had dug up our dog, taken him to a crematorium, and had another funeral, all without telling me. She wrote at length about how we “did it all wrong.” I feel like she blames me. I thought we were doing the right thing, but I’ll admit I’ve never handled a dead body before. Whenever a loved one of mine passed we always let the funeral home take care of it. Was I wrong? Should I have let her take the body home? Am I a monster for not feeling connected to a loved one’s body after they die? —Pet Sematary