Customs and Traditions

Bride not seeing grooms tux?

I’ve known of the tradition of the groom not knowing what the brides dress looks like which we are doing 100% but flopping though TV saw some show where they were arguing about not seeing the grooms tux?? 
I picked out the grooms and groomsman tuxes because my fiancé is a little fashion clueless lol and I’m even having a custom tie made. Am I supposed to be as clueless to what he is wearing as he is about what I’m wearing??

 

Re: Bride not seeing grooms tux?

  • Nah, I went with my husband to the tuxedo place. There's no need to keep it a big secret. 
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  • Never heard of this. I saw H’s suit a few days before I think. We also did a first look so looks like out marriage is doomed. 
  • Agree with others that this isn't really a thing, at least traditionally.

    Want to know the gross, patriarchal reason for the tradition behind the groom not seeing the bride before the ceremony? When marriages were arranged, the bride's father (as the transaction and property owner...yes, daughters were property - hence the "give away"/property transfer tradition) avoided the bride meeting the groom before the ceremony in case the groom didn't find her attractive enough and changed his mind. A called off wedding would cause serious reputation issues on the bride (and her family), making it hard for her dad to offload her to anyone else. By extension, this also the tradition behind the face-covering veil - the bride wasn't to be seen until she was right up next to the groom, when it would be "too late" for the groom to back out. Pretty romantic right?

    In modern Western practice, the groom knows what the bride looks like. So the tradition manifests itself in the bride "hiding" and not wanting her FI to see her dress or to see her in it before she hits the aisle. So yea, this is a tradition for the BRIDE to not be seen - it doesn't really extend to the groom. 

    It's important to know where traditions come from so you can make informed choices on what you want to perpetuate and what you don't.
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    MyNameIsNotSP29ahoyweddingmollybarker11
  • Traditionally, there was no surprise about what the groom would wear.  There were standard rules of menswear (which did NOT include tuxedos at weddings!), so no one was surprised that the groom showed up in either his best blue suit, or a very formal cutaway - unusual for most weddings in the USA.
    The bride's dress has usually been hidden from the groom until the "first look" as she goes down the aisle, but this is no longer important.  We did photos before our ceremony, so DH knew what I was wearing.
    This sounds like TV nonsense.
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    SP29
  • NowIAmSyp said:
    LOL- so I actually can speak to this.  My H didn't want me to see what he picked out- He knew what to get- a grey suit with purple accent, and he took it from there...  he wanted me to be surprised, too.  

    At first I didn't understand it, lol, but it was cute when I saw him at our first look. He looked so handsome, and he totally rocked that bow-tie  <3


    This is such a cute photo!!!!!!
    NowIAmSypmissJeanLouise
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I’ve known of the tradition of the groom not knowing what the brides dress looks like which we are doing 100% but flopping though TV saw some show where they were arguing about not seeing the grooms tux?? 
    I picked out the grooms and groomsman tuxes because my fiancé is a little fashion clueless lol and I’m even having a custom tie made. Am I supposed to be as clueless to what he is wearing as he is about what I’m wearing??
    Never heard of this "tradition."
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