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Wedding Woes

8 months out and I am already losing sleep...

I am a detail oriented person who likes to over think the small stuff. For the last week, I have really been in the planning mood and have started to work out every detail from favors, to dessert trays, to table layouts, and gifts for those involved. I want this day to be perfect, but how do I know when I need to cool it? I would love to be able to quit my jobs and devote all my time to the details, but a girl’s gotta eat! Any advice?

Re: 8 months out and I am already losing sleep...

  • Cool it. The stuff you are talking about doesn’t really matter- it’s nice details but no one else will care. If you’re honestly this anxious try therapy
  • when you're putting more effort into planning a one day party vs. managing daily life, responsibilities, and relationships, it's time to take a huge step back. 

    or you know, quit your job and spend the next 8 months eating ramen and planning a party. 
  • Great advice from PPs.

    for me I knew I had to cool it when it came time to put up money. I could plan the most over the top event to date but my budget didn’t always (most things of the time) agree, and then I would get disappointed and frustrated. It nice to have an idea of what you want but nothing is ever perfect and compromises need to be made.
  • OK, a few things here from an overthinker who managed not to overthink her wedding too much: 

    - There is no such thing as a perfect wedding day. There will always be something that doesn't go as planned or that you wish you'd done differently. Accept that now.

    - The small details you are obsessing over are just about never what makes a wedding memorable. People mostly remember good food and drink and whether they had fun (was the DJ good, did people dance, did they like the people they were sitting with, etc.). Put more of your focus on that and not on the little details. Nobody is going to remember your exact flowers, and no matter how much you obsess over favors, chances are they'll still end up in a drawer somewhere.

    - Wedding planning tends to be a long process nowadays, and you need to keep living your life during that time. Wishing you could quit your job to plan your wedding is not healthy. If I'm being honest, I didn't have anywhere close to this level of focus on my own wedding until 2-3 months out, and even then it wasn't like what you are talking about. 

    - If you can't step back from wedding planning entirely at this point, allow yourself a certain amount of time each day to focus on it, then stop when that time is up and move on to other things. You can increase that amount of time when the wedding is closer, but even then, it should never take over your entire day, especially when you are working. If you're just about the wedding all day every day for the next 8 months, you will drive yourself and everyone around you crazy. Lots of people love weddings, but nobody loves them that much.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You’re not going to have a perfect day. Accept that. Things - maybe even just a small thing - will go wrong. Here’s a short list of things that went wrong during my wedding:

    The DJ was late 
    The PA system was going in and out during my ceremony 
    Some of my guest got stuck in traffic and missed the ceremony
    My wedding cake fell on the ground as guest were entering the dining room 

    and it still was an amazing, beautiful day. 

    Stop stressing over the details. It’s not worth it. It’s ONE day. 

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited February 2018
    The secret to planning a happy, memorable wedding is to keep it simple.  Over planning is your enemy.  There is no such thing as a perfect wedding, and if you think yours will be perfect, then you have a HUGE disappointment ahead of you, and your friends and family will be sick of you and your wedding.  Really!

    Have a margarita and relax.  A wedding needs a couple who wants to be married, a license, an offciant, and legal witness.  Perfection has nothing to do with getting married.
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