Wedding Party

Mothers Attire

hdmayhdmay member
edited February 17 in Wedding Party
My future mother-in-law is really wanting me to pick her a color to wear already and I just can't decide! 
The bridesmaids are wearing a dusty blue/slate blue color, the groomsman have dark grey with the same blue color tie. We are getting married in a garden so there is a lot of greenery as well. I am unsure of what color to have the mothers wear. Like some type of neutral or navy? Any opinions would be helpful. 

Re: Mothers Attire

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I agree, tell them to wear whatever color they want to wear. As MOB I wore a dress that had a pattern with colors that reflected the colors of the bridal party but that was because they were my favorite colors not because they were the bridal party colors.
    charlotte989875MesmrEweshort+sassyCMGragain
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I second, third, and fourth all PP’s. Thank your MIL for her concern, and tell her that none is necessary. As others have said, you can give her information regarding the colors the wedding party will wear, but if and when you do that, please assure her that she in no way is required to match or blend with them.
    ahoyweddingCMGragain
  • Parents of the B and G are similar to every other guest in attendance as far as wardrobe goes- there’s no required color the way there usually is for BP.  If she’s genuinely curious or stuck you can share the BP colors, but they don’t have to coordinate in any way.
    If it’s any help, my mom wore a black dress to my wedding and a beige dress to my sister’s.  
    ahoyweddingMairePoppyshort+sassy
  • It's great that she's asking your opinion, but the moms can wear whatever they feel comfortable in! There are some "traditional" MOB and MOG colors (I think one of them is beige), but most people recently have strayed away from them. I'd tell her what the BMs are wearing and let her go from there. I would thank her for asking, then tell her you'd like her to be comfortable and choose a dress she loves. If she asks for your opinion or wants you to take a look, you can offer to help her choose or give your thoughts.

    My BMs wore navy, MOG chose a red and black dress, and my mom ended up with a navy dress too. My mom was worried about matching the BMs, but she's also very self-conscious and hates picking out clothes for herself so when the navy dress was the one she felt most comfortable in, I told her to go for it. Both my mom and MIL showed me their dresses beforehand, but I honestly didn't care as long as they liked what they were wearing. 
    short+sassy
  • Both my MIL and Mom wanted me to tell them what colour to pick. I politely refused. MIL wore something new and my Mom wore a navy dress she already had. 
    MesmrEwe
  • Totally agree with the PP - Validate your FMIL and thank her for asking, then tell her to think about the colors and styles she's most confident and comfortable wearing, and go with those!  That you want her to feel like a million bucks walking into the room too!  The more comfortable and confident she is looking in the mirror the more fun she's going to have and it'll show in the pictures and comments she tells herself!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    short+sassyernursej
  • When my mum and MIL asked what to wear {they were walking down the aisle - MIL with H and my mum with me} I also said to wear what they wanted.

    In the end, MIL found a lovely dress she already had and opted to go with wedding colours.

    My mum and I opted to make a day of it because she wanted my opinion on her dress.

    In the end, they both looked great but your mum and FMIL may be wanting to also spend time with you. So look at that option.
    It doesn't have to be going out, you could just go over to their place, enjoy their company and have them try on dresses they already like :)
    <a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2018-06-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
    short+sassy
  • My MIL was like this too. She asked me AT LEAST 60 times what she should wear and to pick out a color for her. Every single time, I just told her what the WP was wearing (i.e. the formality), that I didn't care if she tried to match the colors, and to pick out something she liked. Finally she stopped asking and ended up in a pretty yellow dress. 
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    MissKittyDanger
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited February 20
    At daughter's wedding, I wore a periwinkle church lady Le Suit with a hat.  Very practical.  I have worn it since at other occasions.
    MOG wore a navy blue floor length gown with a long jacket  - also hat.
    Nobody cared what we wore.  They were all looking at the bride and groom!  None of the photos had us with the bridesmaids together in them.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • STARMOON44STARMOON44
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited February 21
    My MIL was like this too. She asked me AT LEAST 60 times what she should wear and to pick out a color for her. Every single time, I just told her what the WP was wearing (i.e. the formality), that I didn't care if she tried to match the colors, and to pick out something she liked. Finally she stopped asking and ended up in a pretty yellow dress. 
    I guess I just don’t see the point of this. I mean sure don’t dictate but after the 10th time i’d have been like fine, wear plum, I am not having this convo again. 
    charlotte989875ShesSoColdMandyMost
  • My MIL was like this too. She asked me AT LEAST 60 times what she should wear and to pick out a color for her. Every single time, I just told her what the WP was wearing (i.e. the formality), that I didn't care if she tried to match the colors, and to pick out something she liked. Finally she stopped asking and ended up in a pretty yellow dress. 
    I guess I just don’t see the point of this. I mean sure don’t dictate but after the 10th time i’d have been like fine, wear plum, I am not having this convo again. 
    LOL, I got really close. At one point, I almost just sent her a link like "here, buy this and stop bothering me" but it got pretty easy/routine to give her a line and change the subject.  She's also someone who insisted we write a dress code on our invitations, even for the RD (we didn't). She's constantly wringing her hands about what to wear.
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    image
  • Both my mom and my MIL were like this. My compromise was to go shopping with them.

    My mom wanted to coordinate with the wedding colors and also VERY strongly didn't want to wear the same color she wore to my brother's wedding (navy), or black, or beige, or red, or white/ivory, or any pastels that would make her look like an "old lady". The only two colors left were essentially deep green and deep purple...we ended up shopping for her at Alfred Angelo (closed now, boo!) because they had a selection that you could pick the dress then pick the color similar to a bridesmaids' dress (unfortunately David's Bridal doesn't have many options that aren't very old/maternal-looking or very bridesmaid-looking where you can pick the color). 

    We had a pretty formal wedding, and "formal" for my mother in law seemed to mean she'd wear khakis with her turtleneck, sweater, and sneakers instead of jeans...but she really wanted to dress "appropriately" for the wedding so loved that my mom and I were willing to go shopping with her. She got to the store first and was looking in the "casual dresses" section, somehow it never even crossed her mind to look at the dressy dresses section! We steered her in the right direction, and she ended up with a 3-piece outfit: a knee-length black skirt, and a top/sweater type of combo in a nice almost-shimmery beige and black print (that was so subtle it almost was a solid). She looked great and you could see she felt confident and like she "fit in" at the wedding. 
    short+sassyCMGragainSTARMOON44
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited February 23
    There are many senior ladies who haven't dressed up for an occasion in years.  I confess, I still have suits in my storage closet with huge shoulder pads!  When it  is time for us to be MOB or MOG, we get nervous.  No matter how old we are, we still have that little "Mom" on our shoulder whispering, "It makes your butt look big!", or "That is so out of style!".  We don't want to take attention away from the bride and groom, but we dread the photos!  We were pretty young brides once, too!

    What MOB and MOG need is reassurance, and maybe a girl's day shopping trip, topped off with margaritas!

    PS. I have just been invited to a huge, blowout family wedding in California.  Glad I bought that cocktail dress last  year for my cruise.  I'll probably be the only guest not wearing an important label.  Oh, well.  Get out the pearls!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    STARMOON44short+sassy
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