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Wedding Woes

Sexy dreams and thoughts about my ex

Dear Prudence, 

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years, and he’s great; he’s loving, supportive, funny, a great dad, and smart. Here’s my issue: I can’t shake my ex out of my head the last few months. I’m having dreams about him (both innocent and otherwise), and he creeps into my thoughts multiple times a day. I have no idea why. We broke up more than 10 years ago and have only run into each other a handful of times since. He was my first love and first lover. I feel very guilty about these dreams and thoughts, and I’m not sure what to do.

—Shaking Ex Out of My Thoughts

Re: Sexy dreams and thoughts about my ex

  • Omfg I've had those kinds of dreams before and never felt guilty. Weird, yes. {because where the fuck is that coming from!? lol} but never guilty.

    Drop the guilt LW, it's not like these dreams mean you want him. I always chalk it up to unfinished business with the person when I dream about someone in any form.
    <a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2018-06-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
    short+sassySP29
  • Feeling guilty about "sexy dreams" is a pretty high standard for infidelity (or whatever she thinks she's doing wrong). IDK what to even tell this person...."get over it" "not a big deal" "move on" "maybe you're going to sleep horny...fuck your husband more and see what happens"?
    *********************************************************************************

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    charlotte989875lnixon8
  • I feel like this is normal. If not, I'm also a terrible spouse.

    Just acknowledge the thoughts and move on. They'll go away.

    Same. 
    MissKittyDanger
  • I feel like this is normal. If not, I'm also a terrible spouse.

    Just acknowledge the thoughts and move on. They'll go away.

    Same. 
    Me as well.
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  • I think LW is being too hard on self and should have a glass of vino. Perhaps she should initiate a nice romantic weekend away or encounter with husband to give her new things to dream about. 
    charlotte989875MissKittyDanger
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I've had a few dreams about an ex or two ... I wake up next to my husband, though.  *shrug*

    Years ago, I was volunteering at our local Christian radio station.  I was helping in their prayer room - you know, taking prayer requests.  This one woman was in there and was talking about she had a dream one night about having sex with another man.  All the other women in the room were telling her how horrible and sinful this was and were giving her major guilt trips for this.  I was like, "um, am I going to hell for all my weird recurring dreams?"  Aaaaand that was when I stopped volunteering for the super Christian radio station.  



    Anniversary
    mrsconn23ernursejshort+sassycharlotte989875
  • Yeah, I'm not about to feel guilty for a dream anymore than I'm going to tell DH to sleep on the couch for that one time he dreamed he was banging Julia Roberts.  
    holyguacamole79charlotte989875
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    Yeah, I'm not about to feel guilty for a dream anymore than I'm going to tell DH to sleep on the couch for that one time he dreamed he was banging Julia Roberts.  
    Are we talking "Pretty Woman" "slippery little suckers" Julia Roberts or "Drink your juice, Shelby" Julia Roberts?

    bc there's a big difference



    Anniversary
    charlotte989875sparklepants41MissKittyDanger
  • banana468 said:
    Yeah, I'm not about to feel guilty for a dream anymore than I'm going to tell DH to sleep on the couch for that one time he dreamed he was banging Julia Roberts.  
    Are we talking "Pretty Woman" "slippery little suckers" Julia Roberts or "Drink your juice, Shelby" Julia Roberts?

    bc there's a big difference
    I would hope Pretty Woman version
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  • I never bothered to ask him which Julia it was.   He did wake up wondering why her and not someone younger.  
  • I feel like this is normal. If not, I'm also a terrible spouse.

    Just acknowledge the thoughts and move on. They'll go away.

    Um, maybe not?  Just enjoy your dreams and understand that they have nothing to do with your life right now!  (God, he was gorgeous!  o:) )
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    charlotte989875
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