Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invitations

Hi everyone! I am getting married in September. I’m getting ready to send save the dates and have come up on a little hiccup. I have 2 really good friends from work I want to invite. Which, cool that’s no problem, people invite people from work. However one of those friends I’ve known outside of work for a bit longer. We have a group of friends whom as a whole i intermittently hang out with, occasional birthday. Things like that. I don’t know whether or not I should invite them. We all talk but don’t see each other on a regular basis. Do I invite the larger group or is it ok to just stick with my coworkers?! Help!

Re: Invitations

  • Hi everyone! I am getting married in September. I’m getting ready to send save the dates and have come up on a little hiccup. I have 2 really good friends from work I want to invite. Which, cool that’s no problem, people invite people from work. However one of those friends I’ve known outside of work for a bit longer. We have a group of friends whom as a whole i intermittently hang out with, occasional birthday. Things like that. I don’t know whether or not I should invite them. We all talk but don’t see each other on a regular basis. Do I invite the larger group or is it ok to just stick with my coworkers?! Help!
    You don’t have to send a Save the Date to everyone invited to the wedding. In fact, I would recommend only sending them to your VIPs and Out of town guests. Local guests you are semi close with definitely do not need a Save the Daye and will do fine with an invitation 6-8 weeks before the wedding.
  • Just invite the coworkers 
  • I would plan to invite the two coworkers you're close to (plus their significant others, if they have one), and see how your relationship with anyone else in that group of friends develops. If you grow closer to anyone else in that group and you have the room in your budget to add more guests, you can include them when you send the invites. Just make sure to send all the invites at the same time, or it might come off as B-listing.
  • Rule of thumb - if you aren't sure whether or not you're going to invite someone 7 months from now, don't send a STD. Because if you send one, you need to invite the person come September.

    If you don't send one (STDs aren't necessary anyway), you can still invite them at that time, but you aren't obligated.
    This is key. We sent 100 invitations but only 75 STDs. We wanted to see how things panned out with a few relationships before committing to inviting.

    We had a similar situation with a larger friend group. We only felt strongly about inviting one person and were on the fence with the rest. We actually opted not to send STDs to anyone in that particular group - in case the one we were sure of mentioned the STD, we didn't want the others to realize they were a sort of B-list. We ended up inviting the whole group, and no one questioned not getting a STD.

    Also, you probably already know this, but make sure you find out coworkers' addresses and actually send STDs/invites with the post-office vs. using in-office mail. I've seen the latter happen before and it screams tacky. 
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