Monday!

MissKittyDanger

@banana468 They don't have xrays but there are a few places nearby. One I believe is in the same parking lot as my clinic, or just across the street.

M is able to work from home, so depending on the day he has at work he could stay home. My mum has offered to watch LO if she's off, but I mentioned I'd rather she be more of a 'just in case'
Both my coworkers have kids, so they get kids get sick. One coworker has brought her kids in because she has work to do and then either left half day or her H came and picked up the child. {bonus of a small office}
I mean .... all of this is theoretical plans, but hopefully it should work out.

charlotte989875

Thanks @kimmiinthemitten I figured you would understand this. I didn't have a great experience with al-anon when I was a kid, but might try it out now that I'm older. I usually deal fine with it, but this time around it's a little harder.

TrixieJess

6fsn said:

This is so foreign to me too.  So can you leave the city with public transport?  I guess that's the part that sticks with me.  How would I get to nowheresville to be alone?

Yep, we have Via Rail that can take you across the country. We also have an international airport. We also have integrated transit so I can transfer to other cities transit using my bus card within a two hour window for no extra charge. Where I am in Southern Ontario, you can get most places on transit. Unless it's super remote, even then, there's usually a way. 

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@banana468 Our clinic is walking distance. If weather is bad there's a regular bus right by our house. Even if I got my license, we're a one car family - no room for another vehicle for awhile {we do have a garage but that won't be cleared for another vehicle for awhile}
Side note/reference; M works 10-15min drive from our house and that's with traffic.

@STARMOON44 Oh I thought you were quoting what your parents said lol
I am working on it. My plan is for drivers ed in the winter - that way I get winter driving practice and I get G2 before I go back to work

That's good.   Does your clinic offer x-rays and testing in house?  

I just remember when Chiquita was 1, DH was working, I was working and my mom stayed home with her while she was sick.   I ran her to the doctor's office where she was examined and then she needed chest x-rays so I drove another 10 minutes to have her chest x rayed, brought back the disc, gave her disc to the doctor who diagnosed the pneumonia and then ran to the store where she got her prescription.    Here, that's a lot of driving.   

The other aspect is just being prepared to stagger who takes the child and who misses work.   Babies just get sick.   Once they're around other kids and they know how to put things in their mouths they excel at having illnesses.   And most daycares will not allow you to have a child at the facility for fever, stomach upset or myriad of other things.   That means kiddo stays home with someone and often that's Mom and Dad.   Hopefully your system is flexible but I went through a period where I was under the microscope at my job and couldn't be the person who took the time off by default.   So that meant DH and me shuffling around who was working and who wasn't.      Maybe none of that will be a concern for you but I just wanted to throw it out there because once the baby is here the routines as you know them are going to be altered. 

Most of the clinics in our city are integrated health networks and everything is under one roof. 

Most daycares aren't for kids under one (we have a year of Mat/parental leave) and your job is guaranteed for another two years after you have a child. 

charlotte989875

TrixieJess said:

6fsn said:

This is so foreign to me too.  So can you leave the city with public transport?  I guess that's the part that sticks with me.  How would I get to nowheresville to be alone?

Yep, we have Via Rail that can take you across the country. We also have an international airport. We also have integrated transit so I can transfer to other cities transit using my bus card within a two hour window for no extra charge. Where I am in Southern Ontario, you can get most places on transit. Unless it's super remote, even then, there's usually a way. 

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@banana468 Our clinic is walking distance. If weather is bad there's a regular bus right by our house. Even if I got my license, we're a one car family - no room for another vehicle for awhile {we do have a garage but that won't be cleared for another vehicle for awhile}
Side note/reference; M works 10-15min drive from our house and that's with traffic.

@STARMOON44 Oh I thought you were quoting what your parents said lol
I am working on it. My plan is for drivers ed in the winter - that way I get winter driving practice and I get G2 before I go back to work

That's good.   Does your clinic offer x-rays and testing in house?  

I just remember when Chiquita was 1, DH was working, I was working and my mom stayed home with her while she was sick.   I ran her to the doctor's office where she was examined and then she needed chest x-rays so I drove another 10 minutes to have her chest x rayed, brought back the disc, gave her disc to the doctor who diagnosed the pneumonia and then ran to the store where she got her prescription.    Here, that's a lot of driving.   

The other aspect is just being prepared to stagger who takes the child and who misses work.   Babies just get sick.   Once they're around other kids and they know how to put things in their mouths they excel at having illnesses.   And most daycares will not allow you to have a child at the facility for fever, stomach upset or myriad of other things.   That means kiddo stays home with someone and often that's Mom and Dad.   Hopefully your system is flexible but I went through a period where I was under the microscope at my job and couldn't be the person who took the time off by default.   So that meant DH and me shuffling around who was working and who wasn't.      Maybe none of that will be a concern for you but I just wanted to throw it out there because once the baby is here the routines as you know them are going to be altered. 

Most of the clinics in our city are integrated health networks and everything is under one roof. 

Most daycares aren't for kids under one (we have a year of Mat/parental leave) and your job is guaranteed for another two years after you have a child. 

Canada is amazing.

TrixieJess

charlotte989875 said:

TrixieJess said:

6fsn said:

This is so foreign to me too.  So can you leave the city with public transport?  I guess that's the part that sticks with me.  How would I get to nowheresville to be alone?

Yep, we have Via Rail that can take you across the country. We also have an international airport. We also have integrated transit so I can transfer to other cities transit using my bus card within a two hour window for no extra charge. Where I am in Southern Ontario, you can get most places on transit. Unless it's super remote, even then, there's usually a way. 

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@banana468 Our clinic is walking distance. If weather is bad there's a regular bus right by our house. Even if I got my license, we're a one car family - no room for another vehicle for awhile {we do have a garage but that won't be cleared for another vehicle for awhile}
Side note/reference; M works 10-15min drive from our house and that's with traffic.

@STARMOON44 Oh I thought you were quoting what your parents said lol
I am working on it. My plan is for drivers ed in the winter - that way I get winter driving practice and I get G2 before I go back to work

That's good.   Does your clinic offer x-rays and testing in house?  

I just remember when Chiquita was 1, DH was working, I was working and my mom stayed home with her while she was sick.   I ran her to the doctor's office where she was examined and then she needed chest x-rays so I drove another 10 minutes to have her chest x rayed, brought back the disc, gave her disc to the doctor who diagnosed the pneumonia and then ran to the store where she got her prescription.    Here, that's a lot of driving.   

The other aspect is just being prepared to stagger who takes the child and who misses work.   Babies just get sick.   Once they're around other kids and they know how to put things in their mouths they excel at having illnesses.   And most daycares will not allow you to have a child at the facility for fever, stomach upset or myriad of other things.   That means kiddo stays home with someone and often that's Mom and Dad.   Hopefully your system is flexible but I went through a period where I was under the microscope at my job and couldn't be the person who took the time off by default.   So that meant DH and me shuffling around who was working and who wasn't.      Maybe none of that will be a concern for you but I just wanted to throw it out there because once the baby is here the routines as you know them are going to be altered. 

Most of the clinics in our city are integrated health networks and everything is under one roof. 

Most daycares aren't for kids under one (we have a year of Mat/parental leave) and your job is guaranteed for another two years after you have a child. 

Canada is amazing.

We have our issues, and our social services could be a lot better, but we are trying. It's no Sweden or Norway though. 

short+sassy

TrixieJess said:

charlotte989875 said:

TrixieJess said:

6fsn said:

This is so foreign to me too.  So can you leave the city with public transport?  I guess that's the part that sticks with me.  How would I get to nowheresville to be alone?

Yep, we have Via Rail that can take you across the country. We also have an international airport. We also have integrated transit so I can transfer to other cities transit using my bus card within a two hour window for no extra charge. Where I am in Southern Ontario, you can get most places on transit. Unless it's super remote, even then, there's usually a way. 

Most of the clinics in our city are integrated health networks and everything is under one roof. 

Most daycares aren't for kids under one (we have a year of Mat/parental leave) and your job is guaranteed for another two years after you have a child. 

Canada is amazing.

We have our issues, and our social services could be a lot better, but we are trying. It's no Sweden or Norway though. 

When Trump made his rude comments about 3rd world countries, he also made some off-hand comment about why don't more Norwegians immigrate to the U.S. (I am majorly paraphrasing).

On the Daily Show that night, Trevor Noah said in joking response (paraphrasing)...and Norwegians are saying, "Hey!  Whoa!  We don't want to move to a 3rd world country." 

MissKittyDanger

TrixieJess said:

charlotte989875 said:

TrixieJess said:

6fsn said:

This is so foreign to me too.  So can you leave the city with public transport?  I guess that's the part that sticks with me.  How would I get to nowheresville to be alone?

Yep, we have Via Rail that can take you across the country. We also have an international airport. We also have integrated transit so I can transfer to other cities transit using my bus card within a two hour window for no extra charge. Where I am in Southern Ontario, you can get most places on transit. Unless it's super remote, even then, there's usually a way. 

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@banana468 Our clinic is walking distance. If weather is bad there's a regular bus right by our house. Even if I got my license, we're a one car family - no room for another vehicle for awhile {we do have a garage but that won't be cleared for another vehicle for awhile}
Side note/reference; M works 10-15min drive from our house and that's with traffic.

@STARMOON44 Oh I thought you were quoting what your parents said lol
I am working on it. My plan is for drivers ed in the winter - that way I get winter driving practice and I get G2 before I go back to work

That's good.   Does your clinic offer x-rays and testing in house?  

I just remember when Chiquita was 1, DH was working, I was working and my mom stayed home with her while she was sick.   I ran her to the doctor's office where she was examined and then she needed chest x-rays so I drove another 10 minutes to have her chest x rayed, brought back the disc, gave her disc to the doctor who diagnosed the pneumonia and then ran to the store where she got her prescription.    Here, that's a lot of driving.   

The other aspect is just being prepared to stagger who takes the child and who misses work.   Babies just get sick.   Once they're around other kids and they know how to put things in their mouths they excel at having illnesses.   And most daycares will not allow you to have a child at the facility for fever, stomach upset or myriad of other things.   That means kiddo stays home with someone and often that's Mom and Dad.   Hopefully your system is flexible but I went through a period where I was under the microscope at my job and couldn't be the person who took the time off by default.   So that meant DH and me shuffling around who was working and who wasn't.      Maybe none of that will be a concern for you but I just wanted to throw it out there because once the baby is here the routines as you know them are going to be altered. 

Most of the clinics in our city are integrated health networks and everything is under one roof. 

Most daycares aren't for kids under one (we have a year of Mat/parental leave) and your job is guaranteed for another two years after you have a child. 

Canada is amazing.

We have our issues, and our social services could be a lot better, but we are trying. It's no Sweden or Norway though. 

Oh we do.

btw @TrixieJess did you hear what Ontario Liberals are trying to use to sway voters for up coming election?

TrixieJess

MissKittyDanger said:

TrixieJess said:

charlotte989875 said:

TrixieJess said:

6fsn said:

This is so foreign to me too.  So can you leave the city with public transport?  I guess that's the part that sticks with me.  How would I get to nowheresville to be alone?

Yep, we have Via Rail that can take you across the country. We also have an international airport. We also have integrated transit so I can transfer to other cities transit using my bus card within a two hour window for no extra charge. Where I am in Southern Ontario, you can get most places on transit. Unless it's super remote, even then, there's usually a way. 

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@banana468 Our clinic is walking distance. If weather is bad there's a regular bus right by our house. Even if I got my license, we're a one car family - no room for another vehicle for awhile {we do have a garage but that won't be cleared for another vehicle for awhile}
Side note/reference; M works 10-15min drive from our house and that's with traffic.

@STARMOON44 Oh I thought you were quoting what your parents said lol
I am working on it. My plan is for drivers ed in the winter - that way I get winter driving practice and I get G2 before I go back to work

That's good.   Does your clinic offer x-rays and testing in house?  

I just remember when Chiquita was 1, DH was working, I was working and my mom stayed home with her while she was sick.   I ran her to the doctor's office where she was examined and then she needed chest x-rays so I drove another 10 minutes to have her chest x rayed, brought back the disc, gave her disc to the doctor who diagnosed the pneumonia and then ran to the store where she got her prescription.    Here, that's a lot of driving.   

The other aspect is just being prepared to stagger who takes the child and who misses work.   Babies just get sick.   Once they're around other kids and they know how to put things in their mouths they excel at having illnesses.   And most daycares will not allow you to have a child at the facility for fever, stomach upset or myriad of other things.   That means kiddo stays home with someone and often that's Mom and Dad.   Hopefully your system is flexible but I went through a period where I was under the microscope at my job and couldn't be the person who took the time off by default.   So that meant DH and me shuffling around who was working and who wasn't.      Maybe none of that will be a concern for you but I just wanted to throw it out there because once the baby is here the routines as you know them are going to be altered. 

Most of the clinics in our city are integrated health networks and everything is under one roof. 

Most daycares aren't for kids under one (we have a year of Mat/parental leave) and your job is guaranteed for another two years after you have a child. 

Canada is amazing.

We have our issues, and our social services could be a lot better, but we are trying. It's no Sweden or Norway though. 

Oh we do.

btw @TrixieJess did you hear what Ontario Liberals are trying to use to sway voters for up coming election?

Yep, and it annoys me. We don't have enough daycare spaces in our city, even on one income, we don't qualify for subsidy and the daycare that you can find is $60-$75 a day (if you're lucky). The dental care is ridiculous too. 

ETA: I voted and am voting Green in this provincial election. 

MissKittyDanger

@TrixieJess Idk who I'm voting for but the first red flag was "where are you getting the money from!?"
Btw check daycarebear.com, near us it's $40+ per day but you can narrow down pricing.

TrixieJess

MissKittyDanger said:

@TrixieJess Idk who I'm voting for but the first red flag was "where are you getting the money from!?"
Btw check daycarebear.com, near us it's $40+ per day but you can narrow down pricing.

We are good now and FI was a stay at home dad. We have a Parent Share group in our area where parents basically pool babysitting hours, it's a life saver for after school and times when you just need a break. We also have really good rec programs for March Break and PA days. 

thisismynickname2

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

banana468

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

Do you not intend to travel anywhere?  

When we visited friends in DC we walked to their public transit system with their kids - but they LEAVE DC from time to time and to do it they need the means of getting around.

If you think you'll never leave your area and the public transit is just that good then go for it.   But even those I know who live in NYC or DC or other cities with decent public transportation have their license and possibly even own a car for the times that they want to get out of the city and do things - like get to my house. 

I realize that my bubble of knowing people is relatively small but the only people I know who did not own a car at all were those who stopped driving later in life or those who would never have the financial means to own a vehicle.

MissKittyDanger

TrixieJess said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@TrixieJess Idk who I'm voting for but the first red flag was "where are you getting the money from!?"
Btw check daycarebear.com, near us it's $40+ per day but you can narrow down pricing.

We are good now and FI was a stay at home dad. We have a Parent Share group in our area where parents basically pool babysitting hours, it's a life saver for after school and times when you just need a break. We also have really good rec programs for March Break and PA days. 

Ah fair enough. If you need the link in the future, just let me know

redwoodoriginal

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

I mean I live in Chicago too. I’m well aware of how to get around easily without a car. I never said a CAR was needed. I said a LICENSE should be very important to have. I worked for five years taking public trans to work or having my DH drive me because we were a one car family. Until we had a baby. And moved to a not as close to quick public trans neighborhood. So we got a second car. But I used to use public trans all the time. And I still valued having my drivers license to make life easier and certain trips faster when having access to a car. 

If no one had their license then you’d never be able to go to the burbs to visit your friends bc they couldn’t pick you up from the station, as an example. Or you’d use someone like a taxi/Uber - who has a license. So licenses are very much needed. 

Plus, having a kid, taking the bus is a hassle with the stroller on and off, esp when the buses are packed and people won’t fucking move to the back of the bus. To say nothing of the CTA, who doesn’t even have elevators at every stop- having to dismantle the stroller and take the kid out and carry everything up or down the stairs? No thank you. I’d rather hop in my car and drive somewhere than deal with the hassle of waiting for a bus that is never on time, dealing with weather, and a kid that may or may not be in the mood for what should be a quick dr trip turns into a whole thing. No thanks. 

TrixieJess

redwoodoriginal said:

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

I mean I live in Chicago too. I’m well aware of how to get around easily without a car. I never said a CAR was needed. I said a LICENSE should be very important to have. I worked for five years taking public trans to work or having my DH drive me because we were a one car family. Until we had a baby. And moved to a not as close to quick public trans neighborhood. So we got a second car. But I used to use public trans all the time. And I still valued having my drivers license to make life easier and certain trips faster when having access to a car. 

If no one had their license then you’d never be able to go to the burbs to visit your friends bc they couldn’t pick you up from the station, as an example. Or you’d use someone like a taxi/Uber - who has a license. So licenses are very much needed. 

Plus, having a kid, taking the bus is a hassle with the stroller on and off, esp when the buses are packed and people won’t fucking move to the back of the bus. To say nothing of the CTA, who doesn’t even have elevators at every stop- having to dismantle the stroller and take the kid out and carry everything up or down the stairs? No thank you. I’d rather hop in my car and drive somewhere than deal with the hassle of waiting for a bus that is never on time, dealing with weather, and a kid that may or may not be in the mood for what should be a quick dr trip turns into a whole thing. No thanks. 

This is why we babywore. 

thisismynickname2

banana468 said:

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

Do you not intend to travel anywhere?  

When we visited friends in DC we walked to their public transit system with their kids - but they LEAVE DC from time to time and to do it they need the means of getting around.

If you think you'll never leave your area and the public transit is just that good then go for it.   But even those I know who live in NYC or DC or other cities with decent public transportation have their license and possibly even own a car for the times that they want to get out of the city and do things - like get to my house. 

I realize that my bubble of knowing people is relatively small but the only people I know who did not own a car at all were those who stopped driving later in life or those who would never have the financial means to own a vehicle.

I'm actually quite well traveled, yes. A lot of travel DH and I have done is to other cities where we walk a lot, and/or with public transit and taxies, or hotel shuttles to resorts. You can go a lot of places, see a lot of things and never even have to rent a car. 

My point is that a poster is getting pushed to do something that doesn't align with her standard of living just because because others think it's "easier."  This is, IMHO, a silly thing to argue over. 

TrixieJess

banana468 said:

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

Do you not intend to travel anywhere?  

When we visited friends in DC we walked to their public transit system with their kids - but they LEAVE DC from time to time and to do it they need the means of getting around.

If you think you'll never leave your area and the public transit is just that good then go for it.   But even those I know who live in NYC or DC or other cities with decent public transportation have their license and possibly even own a car for the times that they want to get out of the city and do things - like get to my house. 

I realize that my bubble of knowing people is relatively small but the only people I know who did not own a car at all were those who stopped driving later in life or those who would never have the financial means to own a vehicle.

The people I know who don't drive are a mix of people who either grew up like I did in an urban area and didn't really feel the need to get a license or grew up in a suburban/rural area but live in the big smoke now and rarely drive. 

IF they drive, they don't own their own vehicles, they use a car coop program or rent a car. Mostly though, they don't drive, driving in the city is ridiculous sometimes. I've walked faster than cars are driving during rush hour. 

Also, I've travelled all over Canada and the US and used public transit or walked. I love walking around cities, you find the best things. 

banana468

thisismynickname2 said:

banana468 said:

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

Do you not intend to travel anywhere?  

When we visited friends in DC we walked to their public transit system with their kids - but they LEAVE DC from time to time and to do it they need the means of getting around.

If you think you'll never leave your area and the public transit is just that good then go for it.   But even those I know who live in NYC or DC or other cities with decent public transportation have their license and possibly even own a car for the times that they want to get out of the city and do things - like get to my house. 

I realize that my bubble of knowing people is relatively small but the only people I know who did not own a car at all were those who stopped driving later in life or those who would never have the financial means to own a vehicle.

I'm actually quite well traveled, yes. A lot of travel DH and I have done is to other cities where we walk a lot, and/or with public transit and taxies, or hotel shuttles to resorts. You can go a lot of places, see a lot of things and never even have to rent a car. 

My point is that a poster is getting pushed to do something that doesn't align with her standard of living just because because others think it's "easier."  This is, IMHO, a silly thing to argue over. 

I don't know in this case that it's silly though.   They own a car.   She just doesn't drive it.  

That's different than relying on public transportation entirely because there's no need.   Her H has HIS license.   She doesn't have hers.   That seems to be just fine and maybe pushing isn't necessary but clearly they DO feel the need to have at least one vehicle.    

And you CAN get around without renting a car in a lot of places but in others, you need a car or at least patience and a lot of taxis.    Like I said in my post, there just isn't public transportation near my home.   If you opted not to take a car to get to me it means I'm taking one to get to you.  So without having your license in some places it means that you're not just relying on public transportation - you are at the mercy of others.    

TrixieJess

banana468 said:

thisismynickname2 said:

banana468 said:

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

Do you not intend to travel anywhere?  

When we visited friends in DC we walked to their public transit system with their kids - but they LEAVE DC from time to time and to do it they need the means of getting around.

If you think you'll never leave your area and the public transit is just that good then go for it.   But even those I know who live in NYC or DC or other cities with decent public transportation have their license and possibly even own a car for the times that they want to get out of the city and do things - like get to my house. 

I realize that my bubble of knowing people is relatively small but the only people I know who did not own a car at all were those who stopped driving later in life or those who would never have the financial means to own a vehicle.

I'm actually quite well traveled, yes. A lot of travel DH and I have done is to other cities where we walk a lot, and/or with public transit and taxies, or hotel shuttles to resorts. You can go a lot of places, see a lot of things and never even have to rent a car. 

My point is that a poster is getting pushed to do something that doesn't align with her standard of living just because because others think it's "easier."  This is, IMHO, a silly thing to argue over. 

I don't know in this case that it's silly though.   They own a car.   She just doesn't drive it.  

That's different than relying on public transportation entirely because there's no need.   Her H has HIS license.   She doesn't have hers.   That seems to be just fine and maybe pushing isn't necessary but clearly they DO feel the need to have at least one vehicle.    

And you CAN get around without renting a car in a lot of places but in others, you need a car or at least patience and a lot of taxis.    Like I said in my post, there just isn't public transportation near my home.   If you opted not to take a car to get to me it means I'm taking one to get to you.  So without having your license in some places it means that you're not just relying on public transportation - you are at the mercy of others.    

Which is why I said in most urban areas with good transit you can get along without having a license and/or a car. All the cities I've lived in have had really good interactive transit. FI and I are looking at a possible move to Montreal and one of the reasons is because they have a great transit system and a very walkable city as well as being a place that FI and I can find really good jobs in our industries. 

redwoodoriginal

TrixieJess said:

redwoodoriginal said:

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

I mean I live in Chicago too. I’m well aware of how to get around easily without a car. I never said a CAR was needed. I said a LICENSE should be very important to have. I worked for five years taking public trans to work or having my DH drive me because we were a one car family. Until we had a baby. And moved to a not as close to quick public trans neighborhood. So we got a second car. But I used to use public trans all the time. And I still valued having my drivers license to make life easier and certain trips faster when having access to a car. 

If no one had their license then you’d never be able to go to the burbs to visit your friends bc they couldn’t pick you up from the station, as an example. Or you’d use someone like a taxi/Uber - who has a license. So licenses are very much needed. 

Plus, having a kid, taking the bus is a hassle with the stroller on and off, esp when the buses are packed and people won’t fucking move to the back of the bus. To say nothing of the CTA, who doesn’t even have elevators at every stop- having to dismantle the stroller and take the kid out and carry everything up or down the stairs? No thank you. I’d rather hop in my car and drive somewhere than deal with the hassle of waiting for a bus that is never on time, dealing with weather, and a kid that may or may not be in the mood for what should be a quick dr trip turns into a whole thing. No thanks. 

This is why we babywore. 

I also babywore a lot. And then my kid was 6mo and weighed more than 20lbs and with chronic back and neck pain that leads to migraines (which @MissKittyDanger seems to have frequently, too), I had to stop baby wearing. ::shrug::

charlotte989875

I would take public transportation everywhere if I could, but it sucks in my city so I'm forced to drive. 

I lived in New York City for years and I knew tons of people who didn't have a car, or drive regularly. But I didn't know anyone who didn't have a license. 

6fsn

My country roots are showing I guess.  I've certainly visited major cities with great transportation systems.  It was great while I was there, but I can't imagine only going places a rail system would take me.  I spent a lot of time just finding a random spot and camping/biking/climbing. 

I really don't care if she ever gets a license.

short+sassy

charlotte989875 said:

I would take public transportation everywhere if I could, but it sucks in my city so I'm forced to drive. 

I lived in New York City for years and I knew tons of people who didn't have a car, or drive regularly. But I didn't know anyone who didn't have a license. 

My H hasn't had a driver's license (long story) for over 10 years, which has become increasingly irritating as time moves on.  I need to nag him about that...again, smh.

He does get along fairly well without a car.  He bikes.  He uses the bus.  Public transit isn't too bad where I live...though some of that depends on where you are going from/to...but buses only come to each stop every 30 minutes.

We also have streetcars.  Those are just darn fun to ride.  However, understandably, the areas they service are quite limited.  BUT, if you live near a streetcar line and work Downtown, that's golden!

When visiting NYC, I thought subway cars for the same stop/destination coming by every 10 minutes (or less) was absolutely magical, lol.

mrsconn23

6fsn said:

My country roots are showing I guess.  I've certainly visited major cities with great transportation systems.  It was great while I was there, but I can't imagine only going places a rail system would take me.  I spent a lot of time just finding a random spot and camping/biking/climbing. 

I really don't care if she ever gets a license.

This.  Indy's public transport offerings are abysmal, so going without a car is not even an option.  We could get by on one car since I WAH,  but no car is not an option.  

Plus DH and I road trip often.  We go to see his family in central IL at least twice a summer and often drive to OH to see BIL/SIL.  DH would rather drive places than fly for vacations, if possible.   

short+sassy

mrsconn23 said:

6fsn said:

My country roots are showing I guess.  I've certainly visited major cities with great transportation systems.  It was great while I was there, but I can't imagine only going places a rail system would take me.  I spent a lot of time just finding a random spot and camping/biking/climbing. 

I really don't care if she ever gets a license.

This.  Indy's public transport offerings are abysmal, so going without a car is not even an option.  We could get by on one car since I WAH,  but no car is not an option.  

Plus DH and I road trip often.  We go to see his family in central IL at least twice a summer and often drive to OH to see BIL/SIL.  DH would rather drive places than fly for vacations, if possible.   

Eeekk, I am just the opposite!

But now I have to share a funny story.  My mom and her H are planning to drive from So. CA to Houston in the Fall.  He has family in Houston.  They are making stops along the way, including a few days in San Antonio.

She asked if my H and I would like to meet up with them there.  Sure!  Great!  That would definitely be awesome, plus I've never been there. 

Then she mentions something about how it's great that it would only be a few hours for us to drive there.

((Head tilt))...wwhhaattt.  Oh mom!  You are VASTLY underestimating how fat TX is, lol.  That's a 10-hour drive, without stops.  We'll almost definitely be flying!

mrsconn23

short+sassy said:

mrsconn23 said:

6fsn said:

My country roots are showing I guess.  I've certainly visited major cities with great transportation systems.  It was great while I was there, but I can't imagine only going places a rail system would take me.  I spent a lot of time just finding a random spot and camping/biking/climbing. 

I really don't care if she ever gets a license.

This.  Indy's public transport offerings are abysmal, so going without a car is not even an option.  We could get by on one car since I WAH,  but no car is not an option.  

Plus DH and I road trip often.  We go to see his family in central IL at least twice a summer and often drive to OH to see BIL/SIL.  DH would rather drive places than fly for vacations, if possible.   

Eeekk, I am just the opposite!

But now I have to share a funny story.  My mom and her H are planning to drive from So. CA to Houston in the Fall.  He has family in Houston.  They are making stops along the way, including a few days in San Antonio.

She asked if my H and I would like to meet up with them there.  Sure!  Great!  That would definitely be awesome, plus I've never been there. 

Then she mentions something about how it's great that it would only be a few hours for us to drive there.

((Head tilt))...wwhhaattt.  Oh mom!  You are VASTLY underestimating how fat TX is, lol.  That's a 10-hour drive, without stops.  We'll almost definitely be flying!

10 hours for a week-long vacation is nothing for us.  My limit is about 14 hours, but I prefer 12 being the max.  I have no desire for a cross-country road trip.  DH did one last summer. 

But have an excellent time in San Antonio.  My grandparents have lived there for the last 20+ years.  It's one of my fave cities.

ShesSoCold

H and I LOOOOVE a road trip. So far, we've driven from Chicago to NW Montana twice and to Key West. Last year we flew to Phoenix and were not happy. We'd much rather have driven there, but I'd just started a new job and couldn't take that much time off.

But even the shorter trips - like his mom lives in Northern WI (6-8 hours from us). There'd be no way to get there without a car. We have friends in NW Missouri and you couldn't pay me to get on a greyhound.

H has a work van that he takes home every day. So his truck is rarely used (we've had it over 3 years and it has 13,000 miles). We briefly considered selling my car and only having the truck for a while we saved for my new car. Even that would have been difficult for us.

short+sassy

For me, a 4-5 hour road trip is perfect.  It's just long enough to be a road trip, but you're still getting to your destination in less than half a day.

When I lived in So. CA, Vegas was 4-5 hours away.  Perfect!

Our favorite road trip from NOLA is the northern Gulf Coast beaches of FL.  About 5 hours away.

A coworker at a prior job took an amazing road trip.  He was originally from Japan and working out of our Seattle headquarters.  He had only been in this country for a couple years when he was sent down to the NOLA office for 6 months.  When it was time for him to go back to Seattle, he decided to take a month of vacation and drive back.  But making stops ALL OVER the U.S.  In fact, he initially went in the opposite direction to see Atlanta, Miami, and then all the way down to the FL Keys.  He sent us an e-mail every day or two, telling us about his adventures and including pics.  It was great and we all looked forward to those e-mails!

TrixieJess

redwoodoriginal said:

TrixieJess said:

redwoodoriginal said:

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

I mean I live in Chicago too. I’m well aware of how to get around easily without a car. I never said a CAR was needed. I said a LICENSE should be very important to have. I worked for five years taking public trans to work or having my DH drive me because we were a one car family. Until we had a baby. And moved to a not as close to quick public trans neighborhood. So we got a second car. But I used to use public trans all the time. And I still valued having my drivers license to make life easier and certain trips faster when having access to a car. 

If no one had their license then you’d never be able to go to the burbs to visit your friends bc they couldn’t pick you up from the station, as an example. Or you’d use someone like a taxi/Uber - who has a license. So licenses are very much needed. 

Plus, having a kid, taking the bus is a hassle with the stroller on and off, esp when the buses are packed and people won’t fucking move to the back of the bus. To say nothing of the CTA, who doesn’t even have elevators at every stop- having to dismantle the stroller and take the kid out and carry everything up or down the stairs? No thank you. I’d rather hop in my car and drive somewhere than deal with the hassle of waiting for a bus that is never on time, dealing with weather, and a kid that may or may not be in the mood for what should be a quick dr trip turns into a whole thing. No thanks. 

This is why we babywore. 

I also babywore a lot. And then my kid was 6mo and weighed more than 20lbs and with chronic back and neck pain that leads to migraines (which @MissKittyDanger seems to have frequently, too), I had to stop baby wearing. ::shrug::

I have frequent migraines and back issues too. My son is 47lbs and 5 years old and I still throw him in a carrier. You have to find a really good ergonomic one that takes the pressure off your back. The one that we had had foot straps so they could distribute their weight evenly. 

Everyone deals with their kids and moving around differently. For me, we are a super active family who enjoys hiking and booting around. I cannot stand sitting in a car for any period of time. When I travel, I prefer the train instead of planes, etc. 

We are super lucky that we live in an area where we have so many options and that more and more people are starting to live a car free existance. 

MissKittyDanger

TrixieJess said:

redwoodoriginal said:

TrixieJess said:

redwoodoriginal said:

thisismynickname2 said:

Kind of surprised about the gentle backlash over not having a car or license. It's not just Canada. I live in Chicago and did roughly 7 years car-free. (Had my license because I grew up in the burbs where cars were necessary.) When I started dating now-DH, I got use of his car by default. 
Now, with a baby, we could get to her pediatrician by public transit. There are Urgent Cares within walking distance and an emergency room within Uber/Lyft/Taxi/Bus distance. Her daycare is within walking distance of home and right off the public transit we use to go downtown for work. 
When I lived alone those 7 years without a car, I took Metra out to the burbs where my parents live, and my friends who lived in the burbs also lived very close to train stations where they just picked me up (or met me at restaurants by the stations, whatever). And, guess what, the airport is on public transit too, to say nothing of Greyhound, Megabus, and Amtrack to get people to less metropolitan destinations. 

I suspect anyone in NYC or DC could describe a similar lifestyle. If people don't want a license, even with babies, and know they're covered in emergencies, who cares?  With the cost of cars and car insurance and gas, having a car is a privilege, frankly, one that most Americans probably take for granted. And, Europe is wayyyy ahead of any American city in terms of public transit, by my observation. 

I mean I live in Chicago too. I’m well aware of how to get around easily without a car. I never said a CAR was needed. I said a LICENSE should be very important to have. I worked for five years taking public trans to work or having my DH drive me because we were a one car family. Until we had a baby. And moved to a not as close to quick public trans neighborhood. So we got a second car. But I used to use public trans all the time. And I still valued having my drivers license to make life easier and certain trips faster when having access to a car. 

If no one had their license then you’d never be able to go to the burbs to visit your friends bc they couldn’t pick you up from the station, as an example. Or you’d use someone like a taxi/Uber - who has a license. So licenses are very much needed. 

Plus, having a kid, taking the bus is a hassle with the stroller on and off, esp when the buses are packed and people won’t fucking move to the back of the bus. To say nothing of the CTA, who doesn’t even have elevators at every stop- having to dismantle the stroller and take the kid out and carry everything up or down the stairs? No thank you. I’d rather hop in my car and drive somewhere than deal with the hassle of waiting for a bus that is never on time, dealing with weather, and a kid that may or may not be in the mood for what should be a quick dr trip turns into a whole thing. No thanks. 

This is why we babywore. 

I also babywore a lot. And then my kid was 6mo and weighed more than 20lbs and with chronic back and neck pain that leads to migraines (which @MissKittyDanger seems to have frequently, too), I had to stop baby wearing. ::shrug::

I have frequent migraines and back issues too. My son is 47lbs and 5 years old and I still throw him in a carrier. You have to find a really good ergonomic one that takes the pressure off your back. The one that we had had foot straps so they could distribute their weight evenly. 

Everyone deals with their kids and moving around differently. For me, we are a super active family who enjoys hiking and booting around. I cannot stand sitting in a car for any period of time. When I travel, I prefer the train instead of planes, etc. 

We are super lucky that we live in an area where we have so many options and that more and more people are starting to live a car free existance. 

Tbh at the moment, M is the only one planning to baby wear. He does a lot more that - in his words - "require more than one hand" if he has her with him {ie; he wants to attempt to take her fishing with him}
Plus I think he's kind of excited to baby wear.

Side note; I have plans to join a gym later in the year {like fall-ish} and starting with yoga to build my back muscles.
If we opt to have another child, I can't do this back issues again. Strengthening up the back might help .... and hey, toddlers like to be carried too