Wedding Woes

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Run away!!!!!!!!!

Dear Prudence,

A few days ago, I made a joke Tinder account with friends, with a fake age, job, etc., but all the pictures were my own. I really hit it off with a guy, and he was still interested after I told him my real information. The thing is, he’s 23 and I’m 17. Is there any hope for a relationship?

—Conflicted

Re: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Run away!!!!!!!!!

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    Come back in a year, LW.

  • NOOOOOOO.  

    And don't make fake Tinder accounts. 
    short+sassyknottieece5a0e39b4ceb76
  • If the relationship you want is "booty call", go ahead. Because anyone who literally just cares about your photo and is on Tinder....well yea, that's all it is.
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    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • Although 17 and 23 aren't that many years between, they are during a point in time where people are at vastly different places.

    I'm guessing she is still in HS and either graduating in a couple months or, maybe, still a junior.  He, on the other hand, is old enough to have already been graduated from college and/or starting to establish his career.

    I'm highly suspect of anyone in their early 20's or older who would even be interested in dating a high schooler. 

    FTR, I made this mistake, lol.  Though I don't consider it a huge one.  I was 17, but already graduated from HS and a few months shy of 18, when I started dating a 26-year-old.  But the mistake was more in that I wasn't old enough/experienced enough to recognize a loser when I saw one, lol.

    This! I was 16 and dated someone who was 20. I thought it was so cool at the time. Looking back I'm a little mortified. Like, how cool could he really have been if he was 20 and dating a 16 year old. 
    short+sassylevioosaMesmrEwe
  • Although 17 and 23 aren't that many years between, they are during a point in time where people are at vastly different places.

    I'm guessing she is still in HS and either graduating in a couple months or, maybe, still a junior.  He, on the other hand, is old enough to have already been graduated from college and/or starting to establish his career.

    I'm highly suspect of anyone in their early 20's or older who would even be interested in dating a high schooler. 

    FTR, I made this mistake, lol.  Though I don't consider it a huge one.  I was 17, but already graduated from HS and a few months shy of 18, when I started dating a 26-year-old.  But the mistake was more in that I wasn't old enough/experienced enough to recognize a loser when I saw one, lol.

    This! I was 16 and dated someone who was 20. I thought it was so cool at the time. Looking back I'm a little mortified. Like, how cool could he really have been if he was 20 and dating a 16 year old. 
    Yup. I was 18 and he was 24 (turned 25 shortly after we started hooking up). Man, I thought I was hot shit.  LMAO
    charlotte989875
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Any man that is OK dating someone under 18 (legally a child) is garbage. 
    mrsconn23levioosaOliveOilsMomMesmrEwe
  • I wouldn't.

    I'm wondering about legal ages in LW's area. That's not a huge age gap, but legalities make me curious
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  • I wouldn't.

    I'm wondering about legal ages in LW's area. That's not a huge age gap, but legalities make me curious


    In the U.S. (if that is the country they are in), each state sets it's own rules for "age of consent" regarding dating and/or sex acts.  Most common, at least nowadays, is the age of consent is 16.  Some states it's just 16, period.  Some states put an age limit on the other person, ie they can't be older than 21.  Usually some variation of those rules are played with for ages 16 or 17.  15 and under with someone over 18 is almost always a "no-go".

    And some states may have never changed the harder-core age of consent is 18.  No ifs, ands, or buts.  That's what it was in my day!  But, over the years, that has largely been moved away from.  Because it can cause stupid situations where two romantically involved HS seniors are 17 and 18, which makes the 18-year-old guilty of statutory rape.

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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    When my friend was 16 or 17 and we were in high school, she was going out with a 32 year old man. She couldn’t understand why I thought that was so awful and weird. Like, I wasn’t attracted to high school guys IN high school. How would a man nearly twice our age find us attractive and mature? 


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    short+sassy

  • The fact that the guy is okay with the lying and the fact that LW used Tinder as a joke and still wants to pursue is weird.  Like he probably just wants to have sex with a HS student   :s  In LW’s state 17 may be the age of consent...even if it is, 17 and 23 is pushing it to me, but if an 18 (college student) and 24 yr old or 19 and 25 yr old are happy together, great.  God knows no one I dated before H was “the one”.  Some people do date a SO with the present day in mind, knowing he or she isn’t right for the future. Six years isn’t a huge deal but high school vs. college is a line I draw.
    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • This dude is fine with her lying because all he cares about is hooking up with a teenage girl. If she thinks he's interested in anything more than that, she's got a lot to learn.
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    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    His defence is the same as child predators on those hidden police camera programmes: “She told me online she was 21!”
  • Yeah - that age difference can work when they're older - NOT WHILE YOU'RE IN HS!

    I'll say my good friend started dating her DH when she was 19 and he was 26.   The joke was, 'He was doing simple math when I was born!"  But it was a college girl/older guy situation for that short period of time and she was at least able to go to bars with him a little over a year after they began dating.

    This just doesn't work.   No no no.
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
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    banana468 said:
    Yeah - that age difference can work when they're older - NOT WHILE YOU'RE IN HS!

    I'll say my good friend started dating her DH when she was 19 and he was 26.   The joke was, 'He was doing simple math when I was born!"  But it was a college girl/older guy situation for that short period of time and she was at least able to go to bars with him a little over a year after they began dating.

    This just doesn't work.   No no no.
    This was H and me when when we started dating. I was in college and he was a grad student. Back then the drinking age was 18 so I could  go to bars but he/we couldn't afford them -poor students.
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