Etiquette

Father of the groom (also best man) bringing a casual date to wedding...

My FH does not have a relationship with his mother at all; he has never even met her. My FFIL (and best man) is a terminal bachelor, never in a serious relationship and dates around for fun. He also always takes dates to any type of event, like weddings, college football games, etc., but its always casual. Even though me and FH know how he is, we had both said before that we did not think that he would bring a random woman to his only child's wedding... but we were wrong. I do not know who his date is going to be yet, all he said was to "count on him" bringing a date. He could bring someone I have already met before or not; who knows. 

How should I handle this? In general I do not care if he brings a date, I think its weird personally but am ok with it, but I just do not know how to properly accommodate the situation. Does she sit in the family rows at the ceremony? If so, first or second row? Does she get any flower or anything? I definitely will not have her seated at the beginning of the ceremony for sure, but everything else is a mystery. 

I also want to draw the line with the after ceremony family photos. I DO NOT want a random person in the photos with me, my family, and my new family on the most important day of my life. Is it ok to make it known to FFIL that she is not welcomed in the after ceremony photos? But if she sits with the family, will she naturally linger around when we are taking photos will everyone else is at cocktail hour, especially since she is the best man/father of the groom's date??

Please help! Thanks :) 

Re: Father of the groom (also best man) bringing a casual date to wedding...

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Agree with PPs.  I think you really don't need to be worrying about this so much. Treat her as any other WP members date and that will probably help you put it in perspective. Your FFIL will be up front with the rest of the WP so she can just sit wherever she chooses to sit. No need to even bring that up with anyone. When DD was married, my oldest son was in the WP. His GF now wife wasn't in the WP. She just sat with some other family members (not in the family row at the front).
    charlotte989875ahoyweddingshort+sassy
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Agreed with PPs. I've hung out on my own as the date of a WP member and been fine. 
    ~*~*~*~*~

    ahoywedding
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    I think that as long as she is invited, seated with your FFIL and given the same courtesies any other guest's plus-one would receive, you need not go out of your way to "include" her further.
    ahoyweddingeileenrobSTARMOON44
  • Ro041Ro041
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    My FH does not have a relationship with his mother at all; he has never even met her. My FFIL (and best man) is a terminal bachelor, never in a serious relationship and dates around for fun. He also always takes dates to any type of event, like weddings, college football games, etc., but its always casual. Even though me and FH know how he is, we had both said before that we did not think that he would bring a random woman to his only child's wedding... but we were wrong. I do not know who his date is going to be yet, all he said was to "count on him" bringing a date. He could bring someone I have already met before or not; who knows. 

    How should I handle this? In general I do not care if he brings a date, I think its weird personally but am ok with it, but I just do not know how to properly accommodate the situation. Does she sit in the family rows at the ceremony? If so, first or second row? Does she get any flower or anything? I definitely will not have her seated at the beginning of the ceremony for sure, but everything else is a mystery. 

    I also want to draw the line with the after ceremony family photos. I DO NOT want a random person in the photos with me, my family, and my new family on the most important day of my life. Is it ok to make it known to FFIL that she is not welcomed in the after ceremony photos? But if she sits with the family, will she naturally linger around when we are taking photos will everyone else is at cocktail hour, especially since she is the best man/father of the groom's date??

    Please help! Thanks :) 
    I assume they are both adults and know that family photos are for families.  Let her sit with him during the ceremony - she is his date afterall.  The rest?  Treat her as you would any other guest.  

    short+sassySTARMOON44
  • jlcecejlcece
    First Comment
    member
    Also to add:

    Having been in a zillion weddings recently, the amount of time individual bridal party members actually interact with the B&G on the wedding day is pretty low. You and FI will be so busy trying to greet everyone and enjoy yourselves.

    So, consider your FFIL's feelings in that he might not have that many people to "hang out" with at the reception and might be looking to bring a date so he has someone to dance with, sit with, etc. while you two are off doing your thing. What I'm getting at is that while you might think it's "weird", I don't think it's him making light of his only kid's wedding. Bringing a date might be his way of not feeling too awkward/ lonely to dance and enjoy himself.

    As for the pictures concern, I agree with PPs that you should just discuss with the photographer. He/she will be sure to include/ not include whoever you wish. That's why you're paying them. 

    If it is his date, she should be able to sit with him at the ceremony & reception. But she doesn't need anything special such as a corsage, etc.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    short+sassySTARMOON44
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