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Help! How do I choose my bridesmaids?

I have 1 blood sister, and 4 sisters in law. I have one best friend (maid of honor) and 4 close friends. What's more important? Having sisters in your bridal party, or having your closest friends and just your blood sister? I'm stuck, and would like to get some second opinions on what I should do about my situation. 

Re: Help! How do I choose my bridesmaids?

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I have 1 blood sister, and 4 sisters in law. I have one best friend (maid of honor) and 4 close friends. What's more important? Having sisters in your bridal party, or having your closest friends and just your blood sister? I'm stuck, and would like to get some second opinions on what I should do about my situation. 
    You ask whomever you are closest to. If you are not particularly close to your FSILs, then your FI is also welcome to ask them to stand with him. 

    Also, sides do not have to be even. 


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    short+sassyahoyweddingInLoveInQueensernursej
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There are no rules or requirements about who to ask to be in your wedding party. I would ask the sister and the closest friends, but that's a personal choice. You can do whatever you want.
                
  • I went with my two sisters as co-MOHs and a very close friend as my BM.  I didn’t ask my husband’s sisters- we get along well but weren’t superclose.  Absolutely ask your SILs as long as they’re some of your closest friends.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Pick the people you feel closest to. You are not "obligated" to pick anyone, whether they're your family members, you were in their wedding parties, or anything else.

    However, once you ask someone, you can't unmask them without risking your relationship with them, so choose thoughtfully. For example, if you are considering someone who was your BFF as a kid but with whom you have had barely any contact since then, I wouldn't choose them.
    short+sassyMesmrEwe
  • If your FI wants (presumably his sisters) in the WP they can be on his side.  The old rules are out the window for "who makes up which side" and "matchy-matchy" and "boys on boys side, girls on girls side" and "even numbers".  Have those with whom you are closest to and can't imagine not having by your side on the day of the wedding.  
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    InLoveInQueensshort+sassy
  • I have 1 blood sister, and 4 sisters in law. I have one best friend (maid of honor) and 4 close friends. What's more important? Having sisters in your bridal party, or having your closest friends and just your blood sister? I'm stuck, and would like to get some second opinions on what I should do about my situation. 
    It depends on how long have you known your best friend. And do your sisters know that she has been your best friend for long?
    Also, how close are you with your sister-in-laws?
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have 1 blood sister, and 4 sisters in law. I have one best friend (maid of honor) and 4 close friends. What's more important? Having sisters in your bridal party, or having your closest friends and just your blood sister? I'm stuck, and would like to get some second opinions on what I should do about my situation. 
    It depends on how long have you known your best friend. And do your sisters know that she has been your best friend for long?
    Also, how close are you with your sister-in-laws?

    It doesn't depend on this. You ask who you're closest to. Ultimately, as long as you remember your friendships are more important than appearances throughout the process, having the people you actually want and like makes it far easier.

    Your questions may illuminate how the sisters/-in law will feel about not being asked, but that's their own stuff to deal with. They're not owed an invitation just because they don't feel like they've seen obvious enough signs of friendship out of the chosen BMs.

    Anniversary

    InLoveInQueenscharlotte989875MyNameIsNot
  • I honestly only have two people I would want by my side, unless I pulled a Megan Markle and had children as bridesmaids (adorable). They would be my sister and bestfriend. I do have another friend I would like, but she can be too over the top, my planning/my way, type of person and so, I'm having a hard time picking her. She doesn't ask me to hang out much unless she is going through something or whatnot. So, I really believe these things take time and willingness to accept what you want. Not what others may or may not expect. Relationships change, times change and you either grow close or apart. Don't be afraid to not choose somebody or not invite somebody because you'll think they'll get mad. I have three FSIL (between my Fiance and brother) and I'm not close with them, so I'm not picking them. It'd be weird. I'm not 1,000,000x close with my sister, but I adore her so much and could not have it without her by my side. We're growing in our relationship though. 
  • i had my bestfriends as my bridesmaid for my wedding. but i had a sister and we're close, but she gave the honor to my bestfriends
  • i come from a big family (9 siblings 5 of which are my sisters), a sister in law, several close girl friends and my fiance has three sisters. My two younger sisters didn't want to be bridesmaids as they are busy with college, two of my older sister's said that even though i was a bridesmaid at there weddings i shouldn't feel obligated to choose them and just wanted me to be happy and would help me plan my wedding regardless. My fiance's sister's didn't really want to be bridesmaids either. I ended up choosing one of my sister's (who is one of my best friends as well), my best friend, three other friends who i grew up with and have remained close, my friend/college roommate who set me up with my fiance (she works with him) and my fiance's best friend/ best man's girlfriend who i have become close to over the past two and a half years. However i have some friends from high school who expected to be my bridesmaid and they aren't, they were like we've known you longer than so and so. It's not about knowing someone for the longest it's about who is a constant on your life sure you may life in different cities or states but if you know that person is going to be there for you throughout the wedding planning then they are the person. My friends who weren't particularly happy that they aren't a bridesmaid are still invited to the wedding but i aren't as close to them as the girls i have chosen. Chose who you know will be there for you and who you actually talk to now. To be honest a friend may be hurt that you didn't choose them to be a bridesmaid but a true friend will understand and respect your decision. 
    short+sassy
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    i come from a big family (9 siblings 5 of which are my sisters), a sister in law, several close girl friends and my fiance has three sisters. My two younger sisters didn't want to be bridesmaids as they are busy with college, two of my older sister's said that even though i was a bridesmaid at there weddings i shouldn't feel obligated to choose them and just wanted me to be happy and would help me plan my wedding regardless. My fiance's sister's didn't really want to be bridesmaids either. I ended up choosing one of my sister's (who is one of my best friends as well), my best friend, three other friends who i grew up with and have remained close, my friend/college roommate who set me up with my fiance (she works with him) and my fiance's best friend/ best man's girlfriend who i have become close to over the past two and a half years. However i have some friends from high school who expected to be my bridesmaid and they aren't, they were like we've known you longer than so and so. It's not about knowing someone for the longest it's about who is a constant on your life sure you may life in different cities or states but if you know that person is going to be there for you throughout the wedding planning then they are the person. My friends who weren't particularly happy that they aren't a bridesmaid are still invited to the wedding but i aren't as close to them as the girls i have chosen. Chose who you know will be there for you and who you actually talk to now. To be honest a friend may be hurt that you didn't choose them to be a bridesmaid but a true friend will understand and respect your decision. 
    So, just want to point out something here. You're correct in that you should only ask the people you consider your very best friends, and people that you are currently close to. But the people in your wedding party are not your wedding planners, and they have no "duties". These are people YOU are honoring, not the other way around. 

    InLoveInQueensjustsieMairePoppyMyNameIsNot
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