Wedding Woes

Uhhh...

Dear Prudence, 
My boyfriend and I are waiting for marriage to have sex. He likes to shave or wax his intimate area because it makes him feel clean. That’s his body and his choice. But now he wants to get a professional Brazilian waxing, and it makes me uncomfortable. I haven’t been intimate with him, but another woman is going to touch him. I know it’s strictly professional and not for pleasure, but I can’t shake this discomfort. He says he won’t do it if I don’t want him to. But I don’t want to be that girl. How can I get over this?
—Virgin Bikini Wax

Re: Uhhh...

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
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    mrsconn23 said:
    Dear Prudence, 
    My boyfriend and I are waiting for marriage to have sex. He likes to shave or wax his intimate area because it makes him feel clean. That’s his body and his choice. But now he wants to get a professional Brazilian waxing, and it makes me uncomfortable. I haven’t been intimate with him, but another woman is going to touch him. I know it’s strictly professional and not for pleasure, but I can’t shake this discomfort. He says he won’t do it if I don’t want him to. But I don’t want to be that girl. How can I get over this?
    —Virgin Bikini Wax


    Has this woman never had a PAP? Is the BF allowed to get exams with his doctor?

    As my mother would say, "find something else to worry about".

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    PrettyGirlLostcharlotte989875eileenrobOliveOilsMom
  • He listened to your discomfort and respects your feelings and won’t do it if you don’t want him to. You don’t want him to. So say that, and that you appreciate him taking your feelings to heart, and tell him that you’re going to keep working on being ok with this and that you can revisit the issue in a while. 
    PrettyGirlLostshort+sassyeileenrobOliveOilsMom
  • mrsconn23 said:
    Dear Prudence, 
    My boyfriend and I are waiting for marriage to have sex. He likes to shave or wax his intimate area because it makes him feel clean. That’s his body and his choice. But now he wants to get a professional Brazilian waxing, and it makes me uncomfortable. I haven’t been intimate with him, but another woman is going to touch him. I know it’s strictly professional and not for pleasure, but I can’t shake this discomfort. He says he won’t do it if I don’t want him to. But I don’t want to be that girl. How can I get over this?
    —Virgin Bikini Wax


    Has this woman never had a PAP? Is the BF allowed to get exams with his doctor?

    As my mother would say, "find something else to worry about".

    Possibly not if she's never had sex and she's really young (the second part I'm reading into this). 
  • VarunaTT said:
    This seems like such a minor thing and I think it says a lot about how this woman perceives intimacy and sex and I'm worried for her.  I get so angry when I have to read about people and their journey into sex positivity and dropping sexual shame and this letter honestly reads like an opening into those stories.

    I agree with @STARMOON44 and I really would like LW to start examining her attitudes about sex and her body in general.

    This was my alarm also.  Though I do appreciate that the LW at least realizes, logically, that she shouldn't have a problem with it.

    The LW does need to get over it at some point, but I liked @STARMOON44's response where it gives the LW some time to examine her feelings and work through her discomfort.  Hopefully, she will come to a place where she is okay with her FI doing this.  Not because she knows she should be okay with it, even if she emotionally isn't, but because she is truly okay with it.  Or at least more comfortable about it. 

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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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    All I can say is reading that the scene out of "Bad Moms 2" comes to mind of the one who does waxing as a profession...  lol

    LW is just horny...  
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  • banana468banana468
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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    I can't.
    charlotte989875
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    This reminds me I really should schedule a wax. . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    ernursej
  • ernursejernursej
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    She said she would wait until marriage to have sex but nothing about doing other stuff or seeing his genitals ... so ... she could also do the wax for him!!
    MesmrEwe
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