Wedding Woes

Terrible wedding advice from Dear Abby...again.

DEAR ABBY: I have an extremely difficult decision to make. I recently got engaged to the love of my life. However, with this comes the decision of who should be my maid of honor.

Until a couple of years ago, the choice was obvious -- my cousin. Over the past couple of years, though, we've become distant. She's an extremely flaky person and can't be counted on for much. Now, I also have a best friend who is always there when I need her, but we've been friends for only a couple of years.

My immediate family says I should still ask my cousin to be my maid of honor because her feelings will be hurt if I don't. Abby, I don't want to give such a special title to someone I can no longer depend on. She has hurt my feelings countless times by not being there. She shouldn't get the honor just because I've known her forever. Please help. -- STUCK AT A CROSSROADS

DEAR STUCK: Talk to your cousin and also your best friend. When you do, remind your cousin there are serious responsibilities that go along with being a maid of honor and ask if they would create a problem for her. Tell her that if it's too much for her, she could be a bridesmaid. If she says she wants to be maid of honor, give her the chance. However, if she flakes even once, ask your best friend to step in.

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Re: Terrible wedding advice from Dear Abby...again.

  • What.The.Hell. If she flakes even once, replace her!? I can't. I CAN'T. 
    It’s the solution best designed to cause months of drama. 
    Seriously. "Just piss off all of your friends/relatives. Problem solved!"
  • If LW doesn't feel close to her cousin right now, that's reason enough not to ask her. But I'm so tired of this idea that there are "serious responsibilities" involved with being a maid of honor. 

    And yeah, way to give advice that's guaranteed to tick off her family. Not to mention the best friend - "Hey, my cousin turned out to be a flake so congrats, you're my maid of honor now!"  Really? How is the friend supposed to feel about that?
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  • Wooooooowwww.  As I'm reading the letter, just when I thought the advice couldn't get any worse...it did!

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'm sure Abby will get an earful from readers. The big question will be if it gets printed.
  • The MOH doesn't really have any responsibilities so she shouldn't be asking if her cousin is "up to it".
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