Dear Prudence,
I am a 47-year-old man. I have a 12-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. When I was dating my now-wife, I was clear that I do not want any other children, and she reassured me she wasn’t interested in children of her own. Now she is 38 and tells me she has to have a baby or she will “die.”
We have been married six years and seen two different counselors, and it always boils down to my wife repeating, “I want a baby, I need a baby, why won’t you give me a baby?” We are sleeping in separate rooms and the tension in my marriage is affecting my kids. My daughter recently asked not to be left alone with my wife anymore, saying, “I am not her real daughter, so why bother playing pretend?” They used to be very close.
My wife blames me for this rift and says I am poisoning the kids against her. I tell her they have ears and she has not been circumspect about deciding they were not enough for her anymore. I love my wife, but I am not changing diapers again at my age. I am not the one upending our marriage! I want to save my marriage, but I don’t know how.
—Baby Breakup