Our flower girl signs :)

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74

CharmedPam

waaaaaait you think your FI wants to run? why?

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74

CharmedPam said:

waaaaaait you think your FI wants to run? why?

It's just supposed to be funny and we joke about it all the time lol

banana468

Can they be neither?  Just have her carry flowers?

short+sassy

I know to some I might sound like a PC-dictator who can't take a joke but, as I've gotten older and wiser, I've become much more aware of how insidiously, ugly gender stereotypes are slipped into our everyday world.

The first sign is an example of that.  On the surface, one could argue that it is lighthearted and funny.  But it plays into our society's stereotypes that women are the happy little family-focused nurturers, intent at snaring a man at all costs.  "Happiest" when they're "tied down".  While men are these, opposite of that, perpetual playboys who want to be free.  For the same reasons, I hate those popular wedding toppers where the bride is dragging a groom across the ground.  So awful and offensive.

Needless to say, of those two, the cake one is a lot better.  Though, overall, I'm not a fan of signs.

ShesSoCold

Yeah, I find humor in a lot of things, but the implication that my husband doesn't actually want to marry me, at our own wedding ceremony of all places, isn't the least bit funny. ETA - And really, kind of sad. 

MobKaz

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74 said:

Jen4948

I don't see the "humor" here either -- just reinforcement of negative stereotypes that really aren't "funny" or "cute", let alone "clever" or "original."

ei34

If there has to be a sign, I prefer the second.  But couldn’t the flower girls...carry flowers? 

ernursej

Agree with PPs. If a sign 'has' to be carried, 2nd one only. I was at a wedding last summer and I wasn't the only guest that cringed when the flower girl carried something similar.

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74

Wow I'm very surprised at these responses. I think they are to funny and perfect for our personalities. I've ordered them and they should be here soon

ahoywedding

short+sassy said:

I know to some I might sound like a PC-dictator who can't take a joke but, as I've gotten older and wiser, I've become much more aware of how insidiously, ugly gender stereotypes are slipped into our everyday world.

The first sign is an example of that.  On the surface, one could argue that it is lighthearted and funny.  But it plays into our society's stereotypes that women are the happy little family-focused nurturers, intent at snaring a man at all costs.  "Happiest" when they're "tied down".  While men are these, opposite of that, perpetual playboys who want to be free.  For the same reasons, I hate those popular wedding toppers where the bride is dragging a groom across the ground.  So awful and offensive.

Needless to say, of those two, the cake one is a lot better.  Though, overall, I'm not a fan of signs.

This. We got married on April Fool's day, and a few people made jokes like "oooh is he going to show up? har har har." Then when I told them I was the one who wasn't sure I would get married, they shut up real quick. As though the man would be the only one in the couple who's unsure about marriage and the woman has been waiting for that her whole life. 

Yes, that's not how you mean it, OP. And I'm genuinely not a stick in the mud. But there are plenty of ways to be lighthearted or funny without resorting to gender-based stereotypes & low-hanging jokes. The cake sign is cute, and I would chuckle if one of the children in the WP carried that. If you're not able to use flowers at your venue, or looking for alternatives, the flower girls could also carry ribbon wands, a small lantern, fake flowers, or even nothing. The past few weddings we've gone to that have flower girls/ring bearers just had the children walking down the aisle, sometimes holding hands, which was just as sweet. 

ShesSoCold

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74 said:

Wow I'm very surprised at these responses. I think they are to funny and perfect for our personalities. I've ordered them and they should be here soon

I mean, to each his own and nobody will be affected by your signs. 

But, would you hang a sign in your birthing suite saying something like, "You can still bail! Don't sign that birth certificate, Guy!"? This is essentially the same thing.

banana468

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74 said:

Wow I'm very surprised at these responses. I think they are to funny and perfect for our personalities. I've ordered them and they should be here soon

I think some of this may be that we don't know you and your FI.

But the other side is that while knowing your personalities I think a lot of us just wrinkle our noses a bit at those kinds of signs.   

flantastic

I mean, on one level the cake sign is cute, albeit... why tho? (As PP said... flowers?)

On another, though - I mean, presumably you asked these girls to be in your WP as flower girls because they are special to you. So having a sign that they're just here for the cake is... well, you're big on making the joke that people don't really want to be there with/for you, aren't you?

I just don't... why? It's not even like it's a fresh joke. If you like them, that's fine, but I don't think people will be trying to stifle their laughter in the audience, so it's really just for you and your pictures. And I think in 40 years you'd probably rather have just a sweet picture of these kids.

Jen4948

banana468 said:no

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74 said:

Wow I'm very surprised at these responses. I think they are to funny and perfect for our personalities. I've ordered them and they should be here soon

I think some of this may be that we don't know you and your FI.

But the other side is that while knowing your personalities I think a lot of us just wrinkle our noses a bit at those kinds of signs.   

And even if we did know you, you aren't entitled to expect anyone to automatically validate your decisions just because you think they're "perfect" for you.

By posting in this forum, you asked for the opinions of people with other experiences, which include domestic violence, desertion and ugly breakups, as well as people who take marriage and wedding ceremonies seriously. They're not going to find anything appropriate in "last chance to run" signs at wedding ceremonies. What I think they will find are that these messages symbolize a mentality that is too irreverent and/or too immature for those persons to be getting married.
 

levioosa

Another vote for just having flowers. I hate the insinuations the first sign makes. It’s not funny. It’s cringeworthy. Also the sign itself is ugly and poorly designed. 

banana468

Also, the second one while attempting to be cute annoys me as someone who WANTS to see the ceremony.   I get it.   Kids get bored.   But would you put the second sign at the beginning of the buffet line for dinner?   Why is it cute when two people are supposed to be in a ceremony legally binding them to one another for the rest of their lives? I miss when weddings weren't overly complicated. 

InLoveInQueens

levioosa said:

Another vote for just having flowers. I hate the insinuations the first sign makes. It’s not funny. It’s cringeworthy. Also the sign itself is ugly and poorly designed. 

That's how I feel as well. What the first sign implies just makes me sad for everyone involved but they're also kind of ugly and look cheap.

I hate all of the nonsense out there that show grooms/husbands as unwilling participants in a marriage. Before my husband and I decided on a small family only city hall wedding I was looking up cute nerdy/gaming cake toppers and ~90% of them had a pissed off bride with her arms cross standing in front of a groom playing a video game or a bride dragging a groom away from a console. It's just sad that this stereotype is still being perpetuated by people like OP who don't want to try and understand why people find these kinds of things distasteful.

LondonLisa

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74 said:

Wow I'm very surprised at these responses. I think they are to funny and perfect for our personalities. I've ordered them and they should be here soon

Is your personality a "mantrap" that talked your fiancé into marrying you? Because that is what you are broadcasting to everyone. 

MairePoppy

I thought the fad of children carrying signs with  sexist or quirky messages at weddings had passed. After you've seen them once, the humor wears off, and we've seen so many of these 'It's too late to run' and 'Here comes the love of your life' signs. I'm not a fan.

climbingsingle

LondonLisa said:

knottie6a3fe34e911a1a74 said:

Wow I'm very surprised at these responses. I think they are to funny and perfect for our personalities. I've ordered them and they should be here soon

Is your personality a "mantrap" that talked your fiancé into marrying you? Because that is what you are broadcasting to everyone. 

Yes, this exactly. How is the even remotely funny?

MyNameIsNot

Outside of the sexism, these jokes are just so tired.

It's like a coffee mug complaining about Mondays. Everyone has heard it a thousand times before. Is that really so funny to you that you want to see it in your wedding album for the rest of your life?