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Snarky Brides

Received This Gem in The Mail...

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Re: Received This Gem in The Mail...

  • Bwahahahahaha that’s perfect @ShesSoCold :smiley:

    I should add, the little ditty was printed directly on the back of the invitation itself *sigh*
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited July 2018
    Why do the font sizes change?

    Does a wishing well wedding mean it's gonna take place at a wishing well like ""Goonies"?



    Anniversary
    eileenrobernursejcharlotte989875sparklepants41
  • Why do the font sizes change?

    Does a wishing well wedding mean it's gonna take place at a wishing well like ""Goonies"?
    Is it me or is the font size larger on the lines that specifically reference gifts/money? I'm just sayin'. 
    image
    ahoywedding
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Apparently this is now a popular trend, spiraling at approximately 60%.  Barf!  Why the need to reinvent the card box wheel?

    "There is really nothing wrong with requesting cash as your wedding present since it is traditionally a gift-giving occasion. Instead of registering for a bunch of flatware and dishes why not just request what you need, which is cash. Indeed, it is not the requesting of a specific gift that falls into question, that has been going on at weddings forever. The etiquette question is specific to asking for a gift in the form of cash."

    https://www.easyweddings.com.au/articles/wedding-wishing-wells-how-to-ask-for-money-instead-of-gifts/


  • I thought a wishing well was a spot for little things. Like I see them for cans of soup at a food drive, dish towels or spatula at a shower; it would never occur to me to put money in it. It is so much less confusing to just not have a registry.
    eileenrob
  • I wonder if "3 Coins in a Fountain" will be their first dance, lol.

    Because that's the kind of thing I think of when I hear the phrase "wishing well".  And like @ShesSoCold, would want to give them a wedding card with a quarter in it.  For them to throw into the fountain of their choice and make a wish.

    Everyone, repeat after me, "Requesting cash with a cutesy poem, doesn't make it okay."

    I actually created something like that.  It's longer and isn't on fancy paper.  But it's my list of household belongings that I keep in my safe for insurance purposes.  In case of fire or some other tragedy.

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  • frances_lfrances_l member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2018
    Yuck... so as a matter of personal taste, I find these poems just plain corny to me. Receiving this “nursery rhyme” is like getting a card for a little kid’s party instead of a wedding.  :D

    I don't think its exactly "poor taste" to ask for cash gifts. Some cultures have money dances. There's a way to request cash that has a bit more finesse than this poem. It'd be nicer to have it worded something like: "En lieu of box gifts, we kindly request contributions to our newlywed fund. Please visit <link to fund> or send flat gifts to <add address>"

    I have a newlywed fund and I'll also have a bird cage sitting on my guest table with spare envelopes for cash gifts.
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  • Whether it is offensive or not is completely subjective.

    I'd never advise anyone to leave out a custom at their wedding just because the crowd is mixed and may not "get it." The first time I was introduced to the money dance, I was a guest at a wedding where I didn't share a lot of their customs. I observed how people participated and then I went with the flow. That's the more likely response than clutching pearls and clucking tongues. And it was a mixed crowd. :wink:

    Pointing guests to your newlywed fund isn't bad form especially in the case that it's the only thing in your registry.
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  • Hmmm... it's guaranteed that people are going to ask about where you're registered anyway so not including your newlywed fund on your website registry is just creating an in unnecessary inconvenience to you and your guests.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    frances_l said:
    Hmmm... it's guaranteed that people are going to ask about where you're registered anyway so not including your newlywed fund on your website registry is just creating an in unnecessary inconvenience to you and your guests.
    No. Putting a cash grab on your website is extremely rude and crass. 
    InLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • frances_l said:
    Whether it is offensive or not is completely subjective.

    I'd never advise anyone to leave out a custom at their wedding just because the crowd is mixed and may not "get it." The first time I was introduced to the money dance, I was a guest at a wedding where I didn't share a lot of their customs. I observed how people participated and then I went with the flow. That's the more likely response than clutching pearls and clucking tongues. And it was a mixed crowd. :wink:

    Pointing guests to your newlywed fund isn't bad form especially in the case that it's the only thing in your registry.
    Uhhh, yeah, no. That's tacky as shit. Pretty sure there's no cultures where directing people to a website to give you money is traditional. You're just trying to justify a bad idea.

    And what even is a "newlywed fund"? Some website that takes 7% of your cash gifts?
    Yup. 

    1) You wouldn't have a "newlywed fund" as something on a registry because you know that it's rude to register for cash or anything resembling it so you can't point out guests to something that you wouldn't do because it was so rude to do it in the first place.   

    2) If you opt to have NO registry then you can filter questions as I indicated above.    Registries aren't new.   Calling the newly engaged couple or their families to inquire about what they want as a gift isn't an inconvenience.   If personal phone calls or emails asking this are so inconvenient that both the giver and recipient call them huge inconveniences, it's a sign that we're just in a downward spiral. 
    ahoywedding
  • I didn't have a registry and only received a few boxed gifts. People got it and I didn't need to have a website to take a cut of their generosity. No registry = majority of people will call and ask if you want something specific or will cut you a cheque/give you cash. The last wedding I went to has a money registry and I made a point to give cash. I did not want to give a company money for 'organizing' money. It was interesting how many guests that I talked to did the same once they realized that the couple wouldn't receive all the money and the company was taking a cut. Most thought the registry was tacky and would have given money anyway.

    short+sassyahoywedding
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2018
    The only thing tackier than asking for cash is literally providing EMPTY envelopes for guests at your wedding with the expectation that they should fill them with cash.  Will they be made up to look like cute bank deposit slips?
    ahoywedding
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No, it isn't guaranteed that someone will ask about your registry.

    No, it IS *extremely* tacky as well as rude to ask for cash gifts in any way whatsoever, including honeyfunds -- regardless of what is normal in anyone's culture. Doing it in a poem compounds the tackiness.

    No, whether it is offensive is NOT "completely subjective." Violating etiquette is offensive.

    No, registering for gifts is not required.
    ahoywedding
  • We made an amazon registry but only shared it with those who asked. We received a handful of small gifts and a bunch of cards, with checks.

    everyone knows money is a good gift, no need to remind them with a tacky poem/ fund/ line on a website.
    charlotte989875ahoywedding
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I had a shower so I did have a small registry. Like, we tried to only register for as many items as we'd receive at the shower. We received one boxed gift at the wedding. One. And it was something that my aunt gets for everyone's weddings. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    ahoywedding
  • MobKaz said:
    The only thing tackier than asking for cash is literally providing EMPTY envelopes for guests at your wedding with the expectation that they should fill them with cash.  Will they be made up to look like cute bank deposit slips?
    Perhaps you should look up traditional Chinese wedding traditions before you shit all over other peoples' culture just because you don't understand them. Red envelopes are a major and expected part of so many traditional holidays and celebrations and have been for generations. It's unfortunate that you have so little respect for cultures outside your own. 

    In general, the level of cultural homogeneity expected on this website is so bizarre. It's like it's expected that if someone is having an intercultural wedding, they should default to Western Miss Manners wedding etiquette in order to not offend anyone, without any consideration of the cultural norms of the other culture involved in the wedding. 

    Enjoy your weird cultural imperialism, I guess. 
    frances_l
  • Guys, I'm pretty sure that this #s likes to chime in any time that posts stick to a Western cultural norm just so she can find that Swiss Cheese hole and insert dynamite into it. 
    MobKazernursejahoywedding
  • My envelopes do not come with "tiny deposit slips." lmao

    They do, however come with little cards with blank spaces for leaving us happy messages and well wishes. We don't explicitly ask for cash anywhere at our reception. We are hoping that this will be a way for anyone so inclined to use the envelopes and cards instead of slipping us money during the reception. Since we will likely be in a whirlwind that day, it'll help us keep track of who gifted us with it so we know who to write thank you's to.

    And it is subjective. Not everyone's wedding customs are the same. What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others.
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