Changing venues

short+sassy

pegasuskat said:

I have never heard of a Baptist church that would let you have a cocktail hour and serve cocktails. I am southern baptist and there is no way alcohol could be served, does this have something to do with them not giving you the answers you want?
Our premarital counseling does include talk about finances but I've never ever heard of them making you have a certain amount of money in the bank.  As a matter of fact several couples I know have rented and not bought and it was never an issue at all.
Baptist can be very broad though, a lot of churches that call themselves that are pretty cult like - see Westboro. 

I thought that was odd also!  But didn't know, so I didn't say anything.

I was raised in a Lutheran church.  For couples who got married in the church, they were welcome to rent the large patio area and the hall (separate building from church) for their reception,  but no alcohol whatsoever could be served.

2019bride

When I mentioned cocktail hour I didnt necessarily mean have drinks for the guest, I was talking about the guest mingling until reception time. That was totally on me for not being more specific and saying “social hour” or something of that sort. We have a new venue and are no longer having it at our church. 
Thanks.

Jen4948

Glad to hear you have a new venue!

TBH, I would have found a new officiant too.

MesmrEwe

Jen4948 said:

Glad to hear you have a new venue!

TBH, I would have found a new officiant too.

What Jen said!!  While the discussion of finances is vitally important during any solid marriage prep program, ultimatums that your finances have to be a certain level of savings before you can be married there are ridiculous.

banana468

CharmedPam said:

short+sassy said:

2019bride said:

hi ladies. I recently posted about a save the date issue because we were considering having our wedding and reception at our church. We’ve been conversing with our pastor and his assistant on and off since January about us doing the wedding and reception at the church. Long story short our pastor told us not to send out the save the dates until he get more things finalized from the trustee board, he told us this going on 3 months now. He hasn’t gotten back with us about it yet!!! He’s not being flexible, he’s giving us ultimatums that if we don’t have a certain amount of money in our bank for a home after our wedding he’s not marrying us (which I think is totally out of line) he gives the impression that he doesn’t want us to use the garden area for cocktail hour and pictures, (he says that’s more money) which we obviously know and are okay with. He doesn’t want our set up crew to come in a day before to set up, our wedding will be at 6:30 on a Friday and he said they have to come in at 2:00. That is totally pushing for time. There’s just a lot of things that FH and I aren’t happy with. We’re 6 months out until the wedding and have NO venue due to waiting on him. We started looking around for banquet halls today and hopefully by Monday we can go look at one that we’re interested in. What should we look for? What questions should we ask? What needs to be included? 
Thanks for reading.

Curiosity question to other Knotties, is this a thing that I'm not aware of?  Because it sounds outrageous.

It's none of their business if a couple even wants to purchase a home and are saving up for it.  Last I checked, churches don't loan out their money, so it is also none of their business to look at bank statements.  WTF.

Are they also going to refuse to marry you all if your individual credit scores aren't at least 720?  (Rhetorical snarky question)

Discussions on handling finances are a key point for premarital counseling.  Money is one of the biggest issues in marriages.  But the pastor/church themselves do not need nitty-gritty details.  I'm actually kind of creeped out.  That's what cults do.  I'm sure this church isn't but then, maybe they shouldn't be acting like one, smh.

Right. I know people who still rent and don't own their own home, and have no intention of owning! 

I'll admit that this is judgy of me but I'm curious about what the faith is that is asking this.

maine7mob

I think the OP said she was Baptist.

forevermarriedbrainshadia

Your Pastor in out if pocket. He should not tell you that you have to have money for a house to get married. But you could probably look for some Venues on Google search.

ILoveBeachMusic

This is a zombie thread - way over 6 months old. Please check the dates before responding.

forevermarriedbrainshadia

If you feel that you dont want to drink alcohol in church then dont. It does feel bad to some people. But if you are at a church that is not teaching you about how to better your finances and focuses more on how much money you have in your bank account, then thats not the church for you. Dont get stuck on one church because its a pretty building. Look around for other churches, Im sure they are not the only ones that have a pretty church.