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Reception Ideas

People keep telling me it will be boring.

24

Re: People keep telling me it will be boring.

  • Oh my. Self-catering for 150 and then re-serving leftovers 4 hours later? I think you need to re-think your food plan as well. I have pretty loose food rules for MYSELF (and also an iron stomach), but I would never imagine serving food that had been left out for that length of time. I would also not try to make food for 150 people. We had about 130ish at our wedding, and the amount of food the caters brought was ridiculous. I couldn't even imagine trying to make all of that in my home kitchen without it being a huge disaster.

    Also, what kind of setup does your aunt have at her home? Fitting 150 people in & around one house will be bananas. What will you do for bathrooms? What if it rains? Where will they park? How will everyone fit in the pool, if that's going to be your primary entertainment? Where will everyone sit? 

    Home weddings work great when it's a very small group; think immediate family, maybe a couple close friends. Weddings in general also work better when the B & G aren't literally working. 
    charlotte989875eileenrobSTARMOON44
  • this is exactly what's happening with my sister and everyone. They keep telling me that they're all these details that are being taken care of already, but it's not up to their standards I guess. And it's making this not as laid-back as I wanted it to be. We hired a company to come in and cook the food, so I'm assuming they're going to be bringing their own grillz because that's part of the package. We also have plenty of bathrooms in the house, three bathrooms, and there's plenty of street parking. so having to keep reassuring them that this is all taken care of, it's stressing me out.
  • this is exactly what's happening with my sister and everyone. They keep telling me that they're all these details that are being taken care of already, but it's not up to their standards I guess. And it's making this not as laid-back as I wanted it to be. We hired a company to come in and cook the food, so I'm assuming they're going to be bringing their own grillz because that's part of the package. We also have plenty of bathrooms in the house, three bathrooms, and there's plenty of street parking. so having to keep reassuring them that this is all taken care of, it's stressing me out.
    Did you make sure the catering company is bringing the grills? This is something that should stress you out until it's finalized. ASK someone. If you don't believe your family when they tell you that everything is taken care of, ASK the catering company yourself. Also ask them how they plan to maintain the proper temperature of the food between dinner & leftovers-serving time. 

    Also, three bathrooms is not really enough for 150 people. Are they all on the same level? Who will keep them clean, re-stock the TP, etc? If the guests have to wait for the bathroom, will the line interfere with the flow of the space?

    And does your aunt have a large enough property or live on an empty enough street that 150 people can park there and not cause a problem? I can only imagine a few situations where this would apply.
    MyNameIsNotshort+sassyNBSquared2017
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    this is exactly what's happening with my sister and everyone. They keep telling me that they're all these details that are being taken care of already, but it's not up to their standards I guess. And it's making this not as laid-back as I wanted it to be. We hired a company to come in and cook the food, so I'm assuming they're going to be bringing their own grillz because that's part of the package. We also have plenty of bathrooms in the house, three bathrooms, and there's plenty of street parking. so having to keep reassuring them that this is all taken care of, it's stressing me out.
    3 bathrooms for 150 people is not enough. You will have lines of people waiting to pee. It's not like each bathroom has multiple toilets! 

    You may have plenty of street parking, but you're talking about what could be 50 cars (and that's a low estimate). Think of 50 cars parked on the street in your aunt's neighborhood. 

    It sounds like your sister and everyone else are right to be concerned. You should consider cutting way back on your guest list. 

    ahoyweddingInLoveInQueenseileenrobernursej
  • Yes, the catering company brings all the equipment to cook the food. our parents are taking care of all of that so I will bring it up to make sure it's handled. Like I said, we have our parents paying for this so I don't want to step on any toes. I think they also have a waiter coming in to help keep things flowing. They have parties at the house all the time so I'm sure they are familiar with the parking situation. And we invited 150 people, but not all of the people are coming. We even have a few that told me they can't make it already. So I'm assuming that there are going to be some people declining. my sister just thinks that this should be a lot fancier than we want it to be, and that's the part that doesn't need to be necessary. Like organized games, place settings on these fancy tables, things like that. We just want people to be able to grab food, hang out, and go swimming.
  • I suppose the people who care about us most will stay. It's fine, this is what we want and like I said, if someone has a problem with the way we get married they can decline. 
  • I suppose the people who care about us most will stay. It's fine, this is what we want and like I said, if someone has a problem with the way we get married they can decline. 

    No matter if you decide to be receptive to our comments and helpful criticism or not, I think the one thing you should try and consider is that this just isn't true. Thinking that leaving/not attending = not caring  Because it doesn't, especially when your plan is going to not be considerate of your guests and their needs (like food and parking and multiple toilets, simple stuff). Also sometimes people just can't come/need to leave early, irrespective of your plans and event.

    Really, please, everyone here wants to help and they're trying to explain why your plan isn't going to work the way you want it to. It'll be a wedding no one will forget but not in a good way if you don't think about your guests and their comfort and wants along with your own. When you choose a certain path you close other doors and need to make compromises in other ways. And wanting a casual backyard pool party wedding means cutting down the guests list to a manageable number or compromising and getting portable toilets and starting dinner earlier than you might have wanted. 
    Exactly.   If i'm at your wedding with my kids and we are going on HOURS with no food I'm leaving because no food = hangry.  And I'll just be bitchy but my kids will be LOUD and bitchy.   My dad the type II diabetic will need something for his blood sugar and people like DH's grandmother will be out early simply because of her energy level.  

    Also, pool parties are fun but being outside in the sun for MANY = early bedtime.   The sun zaps your energy.   You get dehydrated and tired often earlier when you're out in the sun and heat.   Add no food for hours and again, it's a logistical problem.

    I think your wedding can be great if you move up the food serving and make sure you have extra toilets.   Why you're not open to that is kind of baffling to me. 

    eileenrobahoyweddingcharlotte989875short+sassy
  • I never said that I was not open to the suggestions, but the invitations have already gone out and the caterer is already reserved. And also, my fiance has a certain vision as well, and I could run these things by him to see what he thinks. So far people have said that a laid-back pool party sounds really good, I have to see what he says about anything else. They have a lot of parties at this house so they're used to having big crowds, it's just overwhelming.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have not been able to get past  "changing stations in the yard" for the pool.

    Inclement weather plan?
    STARMOON44
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I never said that I was not open to the suggestions, but the invitations have already gone out and the caterer is already reserved. And also, my fiance has a certain vision as well, and I could run these things by him to see what he thinks. So far people have said that a laid-back pool party sounds really good, I have to see what he says about anything else. They have a lot of parties at this house so they're used to having big crowds, it's just overwhelming.
    You don't need to say it. You've shown it through every post here.

    People have given you some really helpful information. You just respond with increasing defensiveness, saying people will deal with it if they really care about you. 

    You are trying to force your bad ideas, and when real problems are pointed out you just blame it on people wanting to club, which makes absolutely no sense. It seems that this wedding is less about wanting to celebrate with friends and family and more about making people put up with being as uncomfortable as possible. 

    Want this to work? Do these:
    -Serve lunch by 2
    -Get a damned ipod
    -Get chairs and a rain plan
    -Rent bathrooms

    Don't care if this works or not? Continue being stubborn and defensive. Be prepared for your sister to say "I told you so" for the rest of your life.
    InLoveInQueensahoyweddingthisismynickname2
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2018
    I just saw the part about thinking changing these things will make it a nightclub. 

    I don’t know what kind of nightclubs you go to, but chairs, loos, and food rarely come into play. If they did,  I would gladly pay all of her majesty’s pounds sterling for a cover to go to a nightclub with seats, food, light background music, and zero queues for the loo when I’m dragged out for girls night. That sounds delightful. #toooldforthisshit
    charlotte989875ahoyweddingJen4948ernursej
  • I can't handle the heat. I went to a wine tasting once and overheated and almost passed out. There was not enough shade, food, or water for all the attendees as they oversold the tickets. 

    Make sure you think about getting some tents for people to stay shaded. I'm not sure how large your aunts yard or pool is, but that's something to figure out. 

    Also - if the catering company is providing the food, where are they going to keep the truck parked? I can't imagine them running outside to get the food for all those guests?
    ahoyweddingcharlotte989875eileenrob
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