Wedding Party

Ideas for Asking FH's Ex to be my Bridesmaid

edited July 10 in Wedding Party
I want to ask FH's ex girlfriend (mother of his son) to be my bridesmaid but I need ideas. I think it should be done in a little more special way. We have bee very close friends for 3 years, we co-parent together, plan things for our blended family together and she is close with both my kids.
She is a pretty important person in our lives and I want to ask her to be in our wedding in a special way.
Has anyone ever done this? Even if not, I am looking for ideas and any suggestions?

Thanks!

Re: Ideas for Asking FH's Ex to be my Bridesmaid

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I want to ask FH's ex girlfriend (mother of his son) to be my bridesmaid but I need ideas. I think it should be done in a little more special way. We have bee very close friends for 3 years, we co-parent together, plan things for our blended family together and she is close with both my kids.
    She is a pretty important person in our lives and I want to ask her to be in our wedding in a special way.
    Has anyone ever done this? Even if not, I am looking for ideas and any suggestions?

    Thanks!
    First, you need to discuss this with your FI. Yes, your WP is totally your decision, but seeing as how it's his ex, it's worth discussing.

    Assuming he's on board, just ask her. The point is that you ask, not how you ask. Just tell her that she's one of your closest friends and that you can't imagine getting married without her. Cutesy stuff takes away from the point, and makes it seem cheesy. 
    short+sassyMairePoppy
  • Where’d OP go?  If you’re coming back to lurk- just ask her normally...how do you usually communicate? Text, phone, in person?  

    Id definitely shy away from those “will you be my BM?” boxes that are for some reason popular.  It adds extra pressure for the asked to say yes.  Given that she’s your FI’s ex (regardless of how well you get along) she may not want the added pressure.
    InLoveInQueens
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    The OP deleted her account this quick?

    If you come back, OP, I would do two things in this order:

    1) Although normally picking your attendants is up to you alone, and strictly speaking you don't need your FI's permission to ask anyone, in this case, because the person in question is your FI's ex, I'd talk to him about it first. He may have lingering feelings about her, good or bad, and so may his family. If that's the case, they may not want to even invite her, let alone see her in the wedding party. Take your cues on this from your FI. If he expresses any discomfort with this, I wouldn't go for it.

    2) If, after talking to your FI, you've worked out #1 and are still going to ask her, don't make a production of it. As PPs note, the moment of asking each attendant needs to be private and free of anything, like a special gift, that could make them feel pressured to say yes. Just ask her in a straightforward way without poems, gifts, or other cutesy gimmicks. And if she says no, then take no for an answer.


    InLoveInQueensdowntondivashort+sassyahoywedding
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