Just Engaged and Proposals

Blue Topaz E-Ring/Re-setting Question

Hello, all! Happy Hump Day! <3 (Thanks for sticking with me, here. My new-knottie self tried to post from my phone, used an emoji on the first line, and nothing else came up.  :D  Let's try this again.)

I have a few questions for all the non-diamond engagement ring ladies:

Does anyone have a blue topaz for their center stone? How does it hold up to daily wear, being an 8 on the mohs scale? Did anyone happen to have a loose blue topaz and have it set by a jeweler? Also, does anyone have a sterling silver ring, and did it ever break/get damaged, etc? Any photos would be lovely!! 

A little back-story:

On June 3rd, I proposed to my amazing fiance with a beautifully engraved silver keychain (any nastiness about women proposing is unnecessary - it was an absolutely magical moment and we are both incredibly happy  <3). We shared the news with all of our loved ones, and everyone is so excited.

Because I proposed, there was no engagement ring on my end, which is completely fine. I never said that I did or did not want one, it simply never came up, as we were officially engaged either way. After a bit, I had a hankering for a little something, to look at on my hand and be reminded of the beautiful new life ahead of us. (Anyone saying I'm materialistic is dead wrong, and that is not the point of this post.)

I shared this with FI while we were on vacation to Martha's Vineyard this past weekend. We both decided that it was not fiscally responsible for us to spend any large sums of money right now, as we are planning on building a house on a previously purchased plot of land soon, and anyone who has ever gotten a loan knows how finicky banks can be about large purchases close to the loan date. I told FI that I was in no way demanding a diamond. My exact words were "I don't care if it's a $20 sterling band, I just want something that reminds me of this new promise we've made to each other." While perusing a touristy part of the island, FI pointed and said "Well, there's a jewelry store. Let's go in."

I was immediately drawn to this gorgeous sterling silver, blue topaz ring with a halo of hematite. I absolutely love it, and FI loved that I loved it, so he made the purchase, and I gave him a big thank-you kiss. Not to mention, the ring cost less than the fancy dinner we had that night. 

FI says that he wants to upgrade this ring after the loan goes through, as he believes the sterling (instead of white gold/platinum) and blue topaz (instead of diamond/sapphire) will not stand the test of time. I would not mind an upgrade, but I really want to keep this center stone, as it is stunning, and the sentimentality of it is so precious to me. 

So, in conclusion, are there any other knotties who have a blue topaz for their center stone? Sterling for your metal? Do I really NEED to change this ring out? 

Any thoughts/advice is appreciated! Thank you, all!  <3 <3 <3



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Re: Blue Topaz E-Ring/Re-setting Question

  • edited July 12
    You don't need to change your ring out, at least not immediately. But if you're wearing it daily, it's not a question of if, but when it will get damaged in some way. (Granted, that holds true for gold as well, but we're talking 2-5 years rather than 10+)

    I don't have blue topaz or sterling in my engagement ring (sapphire in white gold for me) but I did wear a sterling claddagh ring for the better part of 5 years. Even with no stones, it was pretty banged up when I got the engagement ring. Silver is just so much softer than gold. It will bend, on the shank or the prongs (your bezel set will be more secure) Stones scratch. My mom's cousin has an aquamarine* and has been married ~20 years... she still loves and wears it but there's no denying it has been beat to hell and is very abraded.

    Also, I believe the halo stones in your ring are marcasite (I am not a gemologist but I've worked for a jeweler for five years and counting and handled a lot of stones) which are typically glued in place and tend to fall out over time. I've replaced several in some of my mom's rings.

    Your ring is lovely, and I don't want to discourage you. If you wear it carefully, it can stay nice for years. You obviously love it, and there's no need to think about changing it or getting a different one until and unless you feel differently.

    *edit: Aquamarine is 7.5-8 on Mohs
    image
    ahoywedding
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    mod
    Hello, all! Happy Hump Day! <3 (Thanks for sticking with me, here. My new-knottie self tried to post from my phone, used an emoji on the first line, and nothing else came up.  :D  Let's try this again.)

    I have a few questions for all the non-diamond engagement ring ladies:

    Does anyone have a blue topaz for their center stone? How does it hold up to daily wear, being an 8 on the mohs scale? Did anyone happen to have a loose blue topaz and have it set by a jeweler? Also, does anyone have a sterling silver ring, and did it ever break/get damaged, etc? Any photos would be lovely!! 

    A little back-story:

    On June 3rd, I proposed to my amazing fiance with a beautifully engraved silver keychain (any nastiness about women proposing is unnecessary - it was an absolutely magical moment and we are both incredibly happy  <3). We shared the news with all of our loved ones, and everyone is so excited.

    Because I proposed, there was no engagement ring on my end, which is completely fine. I never said that I did or did not want one, it simply never came up, as we were officially engaged either way. After a bit, I had a hankering for a little something, to look at on my hand and be reminded of the beautiful new life ahead of us. (Anyone saying I'm materialistic is dead wrong, and that is not the point of this post.)

    I shared this with FI while we were on vacation to Martha's Vineyard this past weekend. We both decided that it was not fiscally responsible for us to spend any large sums of money right now, as we are planning on building a house on a previously purchased plot of land soon, and anyone who has ever gotten a loan knows how finicky banks can be about large purchases close to the loan date. I told FI that I was in no way demanding a diamond. My exact words were "I don't care if it's a $20 sterling band, I just want something that reminds me of this new promise we've made to each other." While perusing a touristy part of the island, FI pointed and said "Well, there's a jewelry store. Let's go in."

    I was immediately drawn to this gorgeous sterling silver, blue topaz ring with a halo of hematite. I absolutely love it, and FI loved that I loved it, so he made the purchase, and I gave him a big thank-you kiss. Not to mention, the ring cost less than the fancy dinner we had that night. 

    FI says that he wants to upgrade this ring after the loan goes through, as he believes the sterling (instead of white gold/platinum) and blue topaz (instead of diamond/sapphire) will not stand the test of time. I would not mind an upgrade, but I really want to keep this center stone, as it is stunning, and the sentimentality of it is so precious to me. 

    So, in conclusion, are there any other knotties who have a blue topaz for their center stone? Sterling for your metal? Do I really NEED to change this ring out? 

    Any thoughts/advice is appreciated! Thank you, all!  <3 <3 <3



    Artbyallie answered your questions but I have to wonder why the extensive back story if you're already super defensive about it. are you sure you're as okay with all of this as you're trying to portray you are? 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    ahoyweddingInLoveInQueens
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited July 12
    Can't help on the topaz, but I've been wearing a sterling silver claddagh ring near daily for nearly 20 years and it's held up great. Your setting is large enough that the band isn't really visible to other people so, personally, I wouldn't worry about the metal. 
    Very pretty! Congrats! 
    Edit- clarity
    ________________________________


  • edited July 12

     Artbyallie answered your questions but I have to wonder why the extensive back story if you're already super defensive about it. are you sure you're as okay with all of this as you're trying to portray you are? 

    @ShesSoCold - Yes, I absolutely love this ring, and the man who gave it to me. I know how catty some of the women on this site can be to girls asking innocent questions, so I wanted to nip that shit right in the bud.

    ETA: Also, I enjoy hearing women's beautiful stories of love, so why not share one of my own.
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  • @artbyallie Thank you for the thorough answer. I had heard about girls getting aqua/morgan e-rings and cracking them, so I knew I wanted to steer clear there but I had no idea that blue topaz was about the same hardness. Maybe we will just decide to get another ring in the future, and I can keep this one as a momento/special occasion ring. Thank you again!  :)

    @thisismynickname2 Thank you!!!  <3
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    artbyallie
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    mod

     Artbyallie answered your questions but I have to wonder why the extensive back story if you're already super defensive about it. are you sure you're as okay with all of this as you're trying to portray you are? 

    @ShesSoCold - Yes, I absolutely love this ring, and the man who gave it to me. I know how catty some of the women on this site can be to girls asking innocent questions, so I wanted to nip that shit right in the bud.

    ETA: Also, I enjoy hearing women's beautiful stories of love, so why not share one of my own.
    Okay, good. I'm probably (definitely) cynical but I read your post as unnecessarily sappy and defensive in spots. 

    Congrats on your engagement! 

    I have a sapphire center stone on my E ring and it's a little cloudy. H wants to upgrade it and I'm hesitant because this is *the stone* we picked out together, on our first vacation together and *the stone* he used to make my engagement ring. Who knows what we'll end up doing!
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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