Dear Prudence,
Ten years ago, I had an affair with a co-worker, “Amir.” My marriage at the time eventually dissolved for unrelated reasons; his did not. I am now engaged, and I deeply regret my actions of a decade ago. My fiancé has trust issues because his ex tried to convince him he was the father of someone else’s baby. He had to get an official paternity test, and she slandered his name all over town. I have been honest about my past infidelity, and we are in couples’ counseling.
My problem is that a recent promotion puts me back in direct contact with Amir. He is a city away, but we will be speaking regularly. So far everything has been above-board, but my fiancé does not know Amir was the man I cheated with, and our counselor has said it would be counterproductive to dwell on the past, but I still feel guilty. I can’t leave my position without jeopardizing my career, and it will be at least a year before I can make a lateral move into another department. My fiancé has trouble with jealousy and reacted negatively when my ex-husband invited us to his engagement party. I don’t want to undo the progress we have made, but I don’t want to lie. I feel like Pandora here. So do I open up the box or let it sit?
—Past Love Affair