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cant figure out how to delete this so ya

Re: cant figure out how to delete this so ya

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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    knottie3db6b3ee362e469c said:
    My bridesmaid is usually amazing! She has been a good friend for 10 years (we had a falling out a couple years ago but managed to recover), but last weekend I saw a side of her that I didn't expect to see. I know she's been going through some things, but she was rude to my MOHs (I have 2) and my future husband (even had the nerve to yell at him). She felt the party was chaotic (you try planning a destination weekend for 30 people and see how smoothly it goes) and is "hurt to see me hurt" (I've been frustrated with everyone's participation at times... including hers... but not hurt) She feels she's just trying to help and is defending me and no one is stepping up besides her, but I feel she just wants the credit and has her own agenda. I just want everyone to be friendly and drama free. I spoke with her about her behavior at our destination pre-wedding party, but rather than just apologizing and moving on (she's never been great at that), she has been reaching out to others (seemingly to get them on her side) to see if they think she needs to apologize to me and my MOHs (she finally did to my fiance, but all apologies to me have felt insincere). Either way I feel like she shouldn't be sharing her opinions of my bridal party choices with ANYONE, especially people who aren't invited to my wedding, yet I've been hearing from a bunch of people that she openly shares her opinions and is trying to say it's misconstrued through a game of telephone. It's feeling like her show... she wants to change plans, doesn't listen to what I would like and feels she knows it all when it comes to what I want (even if I did the planning for what we're doing and it was my choice). She's kind of always felt like she knows better than I do, but this is our wedding... My fiance is getting very frustrated with her and I don't know how to get through.... Help!

    This is a little hard to follow.

    Also – the only “duties” you BM should have are buying the correct dress + showing up on time. Everything else is a blessing. 

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    knottie3db6b3ee362e469cknottie3db6b3ee362e469c member
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    My B... Now i cant delete this... just wanted some advice... I feel like being nice to others in the bridal party and my fiance is also a "duty" I would prefer to take this down but now I don't know how
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    ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Ro041 said:
    I honestly have no idea what happened.  You immediately jump into what happened "last weekend" and that the party was "chaotic."  What party?  Who hosted it?  What did she even do?  

    You said you are "frustrated with everyone's participation at times."  What does that mean?  I hope you aren't exepecting your bridal party to plan every event and be at every event with bells on.  That's not how it works. If other people aren't planning every event and at every event, you need to let her know that they aren't expected to do that and everything is fine.

    When did she start sharing opinions about your bridal party?  Again, I am so confused.  
    This. OP, you're going on and on like we all know what you're talking about and like we were there. And we ask for more info and you try to delete? Did you actually want advice or did you simply want validation?

    And you can't delete posts. You can edit your text, but the post (and the quotes) will remain, unless they're a violation of TOS, which this is not. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What? This seems to include a lot of your personal interpretation of the situation (this is the reason why she does X) which can take you off the rails pretty quickly, because it's very easy to be wrong when you're ascribing motivation to someone else.

    There's no need to "speak with her" or try to correct her behavior. If you don't want her opinion, change the subject. If she's going to give her opinion unsolicited, don't share wedding things with her. Just talk with her about whatever you guys would talk about before you were engaged - you know, like a friendship. You can't control if she wants to talk about your wedding or her opinions on it to other people, and it's not really wrong for her to do, so just take that out of the equation. You didn't give enough detail where we can see if she should be apologizing for something or not, so I can see where she'd be confused. Also, if you say you don't want drama, the easiest way to do that is change your own attitude and not get worked up about vague nonsense.

    There doesn't have to be elaborate preparation and logistical discussions for the wedding. As PP mentioned, she doesn't even have to come to pre-wedding stuff, much less help coordinate or plan it. Not actually a BM job. So if it's stressing you (both) out, maybe you need to lower your expectations a tad.
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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    knottie3db6b3ee362e469c said:
    My B... Now i cant delete this... just wanted some advice... I feel like being nice to others in the bridal party and my fiance is also a "duty" I would prefer to take this down but now I don't know how
    What?
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    Ro041Ro041 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think she's saying being nice to the couple is a "duty" the bridal party has.  But I like the way you bolded it @NBSquared2017.  Lol

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    NBSquared2017NBSquared2017 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Ro041 said:
    I think she's saying being nice to the couple is a "duty" the bridal party has.  But I like the way you bolded it @NBSquared2017.  Lol
    Thank you! I'm clearly having reading comprehension issues today
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    ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You just attracted a lot more attention OP.  
    Your post wasn’t clear at all, despite being wordy.  WP members don’t have any duties outside of being at the ceremony at the right time in the agreed upon attire.  
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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think this Knottie #s is Kimmiinthemitten punking us!  A quick DD, when all that was politely requested was further information!
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