Wedding Party

Deadline

hello all, hope everyone is enjoying wedding planning. 

Any who, Long story short my bridesmaids and I agreed on a day to get their dress, I sent out a reminder for those who may be forgetful last Thursday. Almost a week passed since the deadline and no one has ordered their dress yet. I don’t want to come off bossy or annoying about this. 
Any suggestions on what to do or just let it flow?
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Re: Deadline

  • No the deadline is a date one of the bridesmaids came up with and we all agreed on that day. They are ordering online and due to high volume of the dresses we want to get them before they sell out. They normally do not restock but recently they’ve been restocking. I dont know how long that will last and don’t want us to miss out on them. My wedding is in January.
  • 2019bride said:
    No the deadline is a date one of the bridesmaids came up with and we all agreed on that day. They are ordering online and due to high volume of the dresses we want to get them before they sell out. They normally do not restock but recently they’ve been restocking. I dont know how long that will last and don’t want us to miss out on them. My wedding is in January.
    This honestly sounds like a poor dress choice.   You can order a standard BM dress with no issue in 4 mo but why would you pick something that isn't often restocked?  It seems to leave too much to chance if the are any issues with the item or sizing.

    I think you need to let it go but consider an alternative as well. 
    eileenrobahoyweddingInLoveInQueens
  • 2019bride said:
    hello all, hope everyone is enjoying wedding planning. 

    Any who, Long story short my bridesmaids and I agreed on a day to get their dress, I sent out a reminder for those who may be forgetful last Thursday. Almost a week passed since the deadline and no one has ordered their dress yet. I don’t want to come off bossy or annoying about this. 
    Any suggestions on what to do or just let it flow?
    I know how frustrating it is when people say they will do something and then don’t, it is one of my biggest pet peeves. But assuming these are all adults, you need to just let them sink or swim. If they show up in the dress, great! If they don’t, then they have taken themselves out of the bridal party (unless you are super chill and let them stand in whatever they wear). Unfortunately, adults don’t generally respond well to micromanagement and doing it to friends could ruin relationships. It would be a shame to ruin a close friendship over a dress/ party.
    eileenrobahoywedding
  • I can understand some of the frustration.  But, at the same time, you're correct that you don't want to potentially cause friction in the friendships by nagging them about a dress.

    If it were me, I'd probably send another reminder in 2-4 weeks to whomever hasn't ordered.  With a note that this company doesn't always re-stock their dresses, so it's best to order sooner rather than later.  Then, let it go after that.

    I'd also do some scouting and find an alternative, similarly priced dress that can come in a similar color.  JIC.

    The wedding industry/movies like to propogate the idea of matchy-matchy BMs dresses.  But they really don't need to be.  Similar shades of the same color look lovely together, even across different dresses.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    ahoyweddingcharlotte9898752019brideMairePoppy
  • 2019bride said:
    No the deadline is a date one of the bridesmaids came up with and we all agreed on that day. They are ordering online and due to high volume of the dresses we want to get them before they sell out. They normally do not restock but recently they’ve been restocking. I dont know how long that will last and don’t want us to miss out on them. My wedding is in January.
    This is kind of risky. What if something is wrong with one of the dresses, or the sizing is off? If the shop usually doesn't restock, how will things go if one of your BMs needs to exchange her dress for whatever reason? 

    You do still have plenty of time until your wedding, even if someone would need alterations. It may be a better idea to choose a dress from a shop that will consistently have the same items, like David's or even somewhere like Macy's. You could also consider letting them choose their own dresses (within certain parameters), so there wouldn't be any need to coordinate shopping. I'd ease up on the deadline issue. If someone doesn't have a dress the day of your wedding, they've decided they don't want to be in the wedding. 
    InLoveInQueenscharlotte9898752019bride
  • If the store frequently sells out and doesn’t regularly restock, AND it has to be this dress the other option you have is to buy the dresses yourself and have your BMs pay you for them. Your wedding is fairly far off, it’s the end of summer, and a holiday weekend (at least in the US) so I’m not surprised it’s slipped their minds. 
    ahoyweddingeileenrob
  • just remind them one more time and pick up another day to go and buy the dresses.
    2019bride
  • How does this sound like a poor dress choice because it’s being orders online? I’m a bit confused. Plenty order wedding dresses online but okay.
  • 2019bride said:
    How does this sound like a poor dress choice because it’s being orders online? I’m a bit confused. Plenty order wedding dresses online but okay.
    It’s not the online part that’s the problem, it’s the not restocking and almost out of dresses that’s the problem. 
    InLoveInQueensMesmrEweahoyweddingeileenrob
  • I understand. That’s why we planned to get them on a particular day when everyone dress and size is still available.
  • That is not my problem if they gain or loss weight. But thank you, good day.
  • 2019bride said:
    That is not my problem if they gain or loss weight. But thank you, good day.
    Wow.  With an attitude like that it's no wonder they aren't chomping at the bit to start using their credit cards in your honor.  

    Maybe do a little introspective thinking this weekend...
    levioosaInLoveInQueensahoyweddingeileenrob
  • Maybe so, good day AGAIN :)
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    edited September 1
    banana468 said:
    2019bride said:
    That is not my problem if they gain or loss weight. But thank you, good day.
    Wow.  With an attitude like that it's no wonder they aren't chomping at the bit to start using their credit cards in your honor.  

    Maybe do a little introspective thinking this weekend...
    Aren’t you the bride to be who has already had two bridesmaids drop out of your wedding?
    InLoveInQueenssparklepants41
  • 2019bride said:
    Maybe so, good day AGAIN :)
    So AGAIN, there is no way to micromanage your bridesmaids into ordering something. PPs were suggesting coming up with alternatives in case the dress is sold out or there is some other mishap (doesn’t arrive, wrong size, damaged item, etc) and they can’t reorder. But if you are not concerned about the dress fitting (I am basing that assumption off your comment about it not being your problem if they gain or lose weight), then fuck it. What’s it matter if they order the dress at all?
    eileenrob
  • If the dress doesn’t fit because they lost or gained weight I feel that is none of my concern. I can’t tell someone to STAY FIT FOR MY WEDDING! You know you’ve ordered a dress for an occasion so why gain or lose? Now god forbid if that happens because a sickness occur I will with no problem issue a refund or whatever I can do but I’m not about to sit here and act like I’m supposed to take the responsibility for something that they chose to do. Any who we do have alternatives these dresses isn’t our only option. If they do so happen to be the wrong size or damaged don’t you think that’s why I want them to get them like as soon as possible? The earlier the better in case we do have a slip up like that. We will have plenty of time to do whatever instead of being pressed for time trying to re purchase a similar dress, getting the dress altered or even sending the dress back and waiting on it to ship out again. That’s the only point I was trying to make when I made this post. Yes my wedding isn’t until January that doesn’t mean WAIT. You never know what can happen.
  • Please find something better to do with your time. Take your own advice please and thank you. Being young doesn’t have anything to do with my choices. I’m guessing you’re one of them old know it alls. I can tell you now sitting on a wedding forum criticizing and trolling makes you look well not so good.
  • 2019bride said:
    Please find something better to do with your time. Take your own advice please and thank you. Being young doesn’t have anything to do with my choices. I’m guessing you’re one of them old know it alls. I can tell you now sitting on a wedding forum criticizing and trolling makes you look well not so good.
    Let's get something straight:
    -My comments to you are in no way shape or form trolling.
    -Your inability to own up to errors in your actions is on no one but you.

    Your comments are incredibly defensive and yet you're the one down two bridesmaids and those left haven't bought the dresses that you picked.   I don't know what else to tell you but I can say that when I got married over 11 years ago I didn't have this issue.

    Maybe I *do* know a lot.   ::shrug:: 
    justsieInLoveInQueenseileenrobMyNameIsNot
  • The wedding is only a few months away so I don't think the timeline is crazy or anything. I would remind them again in about a week and then leave it be. If they don't get the dress then they have taken themselves out of the wedding.

    P.S. I don't like OP's attitude later but I do think ordering now isn't that big of a deal.
  • The wedding is only a few months away so I don't think the timeline is crazy or anything. I would remind them again in about a week and then leave it be. If they don't get the dress then they have taken themselves out of the wedding.

    P.S. I don't like OP's attitude later but I do think ordering now isn't that big of a deal.
    I don’t necessarily think ordering now is the worst, but you can’t force people to order dresses, even if they say they’re going to. Which is why, I think, a lot of people are saying order somewhere dresses get restocked or there are many left in stock. What happens when a dress arrives damaged, the sizing is off (ignoring that rude post about how if her friends gain/lose weight it’s their own fault, or needs to be returned/exchanges for any number of other reasons and the company doesn’t have any more? I think that’s where (at least my) advice was coming from. 
    banana468ahoyweddingeileenrob
  • You’re trolling babe. Every comment I make you feel the need to respond when you’re not being spoken too. Speak when spoken too!! I don’t see anything wrong with my actions, it’s funny that you say that. How can you criticize some one and CLAIM someone can’t own up to they’re actions? Do you know me? You could’ve simply stated your opinion and went on about your business. If you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. I’m so young to you and won’t get anything but you still feel the need to go back and forth with me? How old are you?! I think you need to lay off these forums, You’ve married 11 years ago and still sit on a wedding forum?! Geez, that tells me everything I need to know. Oh and BTW I am not down to TWO bridesmaids lol. Go tend to your husband and grandkids lady. You have nothing else better to do with your time it’s sad. 
  • The wedding is only a few months away so I don't think the timeline is crazy or anything. I would remind them again in about a week and then leave it be. If they don't get the dress then they have taken themselves out of the wedding.

    P.S. I don't like OP's attitude later but I do think ordering now isn't that big of a deal.
    I don’t necessarily think ordering now is the worst, but you can’t force people to order dresses, even if they say they’re going to. Which is why, I think, a lot of people are saying order somewhere dresses get restocked or there are many left in stock. What happens when a dress arrives damaged, the sizing is off (ignoring that rude post about how if her friends gain/lose weight it’s their own fault, or needs to be returned/exchanges for any number of other reasons and the company doesn’t have any more? I think that’s where (at least my) advice was coming from. 
    This was exactly my thinking too. Weight changes aside (jeez louise), what if the store messes up? Or the online sizing guide is off and their 8 isn't the same as the 8 someone usually wears? If they don't restock, how will they handle any customer service issues? I can't imagine OP's response should the store would have to offer an alternative dress if they couldn't replace it with the exact same one. But clearly she's not here for advice so it's not going to matter anyway. 
    charlotte989875eileenrob
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