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Invites and Paper

Asked for Address -- have to invite?

edited October 2018 in Invites and Paper
I want to start by saying my fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves.  However my mom started adding people to our guest list and asking them for their addresses. We budgeted for 150, the guest list is up to 185.   My question is, if she asked for their address do we have to invite?   As I said WE are paying and cannot afford all of these extra people she decided on. 

Re: Asked for Address -- have to invite?

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Ditto PP’s. Do not allow your mom to add guests. If your parents were contributing to the wedding, they would deserve a choice in who was invited, but that’s not the case here. But now you a treading in dangerous territory. I’ll also tell you something I’ve mentioned here several times: I have now been in several weddings where the B&G invited over capacity thinking people would decline (out of state family, destination weddings). EVERYONE CAME. And it was miserable. That 20% number can lull you into a false sense of security. Don’t count on it and be able to properly host everyone you invite. 


    image
    ahoyweddingcharlotte989875
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I want to start by saying my fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves.  However my mom started adding people to our guest list and asking them for their addresses. We budgeted for 150, the guest list is up to 185.   My question is, if she asked for their address do we have to invite?   As I said WE are paying and cannot afford all of these extra people she decided on. 
    As PPs note, you need to nip this in the bud yesterday: "Mom, the guest list is closed. Stop adding extra people now. And if anyone gives you their address, you'll have to tell them that you made a mistake. We're not inviting them and won't be able to accommodate them at the wedding if they show up."
    ahoyweddingshort+sassy
  • Wow! Tell your mom that since you are paying for your wedding reception, you are officially the hosts, and the hosts get to decide who is invited. Period. If your venue can support more (make sure this is the case) AND your mom wants to pay for the extra guests AND you want them to come, then you can decide whether to invite them. But again, it is your call and only your call.

    Your mother alone will suffer the embarrassment of asking for addresses from people you did not subsequently invite. This is not on you. It's on her.


    MairePoppyshort+sassy
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Isn't it great news that you're not on the hook for your mom's would-be guests? Just tell mom your invitation list is complete and you won't be adding to it. Then it's out of your hands.

                
    short+sassy
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