Dear Prudence,
My friend Janet cares for her elderly mother, Gladys, who is in her 90s and has Parkinson’s disease. Janet and her siblings fell out with their brother, John, when he tried to sue Gladys (his own mother!) in a frivolous attempt to accelerate his inheritance. The case was thrown out. Gladys was angry and extremely hurt. Now she has lost the ability to make decisions and will likely die soon. Janet told me that when she does, she and her siblings will not tell John the details of the funeral until after it has taken place for fear that he will disrupt it. He has been aggressive in the past, and Janet herself is in poor health. I’m worried about whether this is the right thing to do. How can I best advise my friend?
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