Help wanted with the dating game

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I’m a 28-year-old nonbinary person who was assigned male at birth. I’ve been blessed with kind and supportive friends and family, and with the help of a therapist, I started transitioning. At this point I get read as a cis woman in public, and I’m comfortable with that. I also feel happy with my body as it is. Unfortunately, dating can be really fraught. I always disclose that I’m nonbinary, but the guys who are interested in dating me either lose interest or uncomfortably fetishize me on the basis of whether I’ve had certain types of surgery. What can I do? I’ve been lucky to have good friends and family, but I can’t help but feel lonely.

—Lonely and Nonbinary

STARMOON44

Meet people through clubs and groups and in person so that they’re getting to know you gradually? 

VarunaTT

As much as people struggle to understand transgender and nonbinary, peope really don't understand when a nonbinary identified person also transitions into a more comfortable gender expression for themselves (and this goes for the LGBTQ+ community too). 

Really, the best answer [out of what is available] is to find the LGBTQ+ community in your area and hope for the best by reaching through them.  Realistically, this is going to be an ongoing issue in LW's life, until they find the right person.  I'd suggest trying to find another NB to date, in all honesty, it might just be easier.