Husband looked at photos without me

knottiefd9e66c8e0023e19

Hello! I'm recently married, and our professional photographs came about a week after our wedding. My new husband got the email before me, and proceeded to look at the photos without me. While I know he did not do it with malice, I'm still very upset about it. Am I crazy? It was something I was very much looking forward to doing with him, and now I don't even want to look at the photos...

Looking for validation and/or a reason to not be upset/sad/disappointed....

Thank you!

flantastic

I can understand being disappointed if you had a certain experience in mind and now you aren't going to get it.

But unless you had outlined to him the expectation that you'd like to look at the photos together for the first time, I don't think you have reason to be upset with him. That's not like, an obvious thing that you shouldn't have needed to ask about. If you wanted it, you needed to let him know.

I think it would be fun to look at them both separately, then come together and share favorites, etc. Find something you can look forward to now.

MyNameIsNot

knottiefd9e66c8e0023e19 said:

Hello! I'm recently married, and our professional photographs came about a week after our wedding. My new husband got the email before me, and proceeded to look at the photos without me. While I know he did not do it with malice, I'm still very upset about it. Am I crazy? It was something I was very much looking forward to doing with him, and now I don't even want to look at the photos...

Looking for validation and/or a reason to not be upset/sad/disappointed....

Thank you!

Was this something you'd discussed with him ahead of time or were you expecting him to know that you wanted to do it together? If it's the former, now is a good time for a conversation with him about why he would do something contrary to the way you'd discussed it. If it's the latter, it's a lesson in communicating your expectations rather than making assumptions. 

The good news is that this is a really minor thing and it's a low stakes way to have learned something. Marriage is a journey and you never stop learning about each other. 

banana468

I hope DH isn't mad at me because I absolutely looked at ours first. 

I think you're valid in your feelings but that does not mean that your H did anything wrong either.  The photos still exist.  You can look at them and dwell on the individual elements in your own time and in your own way and you should have them for your lifetime.  

climbingsingle

Also curious if you had discussed with him beforehand that you wanted to look at the pictures together. It really just seems like a simple mistake, and I don't even know that I'd call it a mistake.