Is this overreacting? I need advice.

PJS001

So, the day of the wedding FI's dad's side of the family didn't show up. Like, we had reserved ten seats, and an ENTIRE TABLE for them and not a single person showed up. At first I was angry because that was two hundred dollars down the drain since none of them bothered to show, but now I just don't care because it is over and done with. However, it is still bugging my husband that his family didn't show up, didn't call to tell him that they wouldn't be there, and haven't even congratulated him.

I wrote a letter that I want to send to everyone, but I am afraid that they will take it the wrong way. Excuse my french but I just want them to act like they give a damn. He is the last male of the family that will carry on his last name, in a family that prides itself in its history and geneaology, yet nobody has even said congrats, even a month later.

I have had this letter for almost a month now and don't want to make the wrong decision. I don't want gifts, money, or anything like that, just to make sure that my husband knows that his family cares about him. What should I do?

Chels2

If sending the letter is bothering you then you shouldn't send it. If they do take it the wrong way which they more then likely will then its going to make the situation that much worse. I think you just need to be there for your husband and let him handle his family.

amy40311

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-houston_this-overreacting-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:121Discussion:a1d0ba7a-4d6d-42fd-bdff-73f6c044dabdPost:75ff7ffd-8f79-4612-bcae-6fbfc1c544fe">Re: Is this overreacting? I need advice.</a>:
[QUOTE]If sending the letter is bothering you then you shouldn't send it. If they do take it the wrong way which they more then likely will then its going to make the situation that much worse. I think you just need to be there for your husband and let him handle his family.
Posted by Chels2[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with Chels. This is a tricky situation. You can't force his family to care or to "give a damn" Unfortunately in life we can't dictate other people's behaviors. Sure, we can tell them they're being rude and inconsiderate but if they don't see things the same way as you (most likely the case in this situation), then why cause more heartache by addressing the issue? I think the person that will be most hurt here is your husband. I think this is a situation that calls for you to turn the other cheek and be supportive of your husband. If he decides he wants to pursue the issue then you support it, if he decides he wants to drop it then you support that too. This is your life together, if his family doesn't want to be a part of it then it's their lost. In any case, this is a terrible situation and I'm sorry for both you and your husband.</div>

TXsun

does your husband know you have written this letter and want to send it? If his family didn't care enough to show up to his wedding, or to even say anything, they aren't worth your time worrying about. I would just try to help your husband out in that respect. They didnt care enough, so you shouldnt care. THey aren't worth the stress.

Good luck

Karamel_bp

Yeah I agree with the other ladies. Let him determine how to handle his family. You just need to be there for him in whatever decision he decides on. I know none of my dad's side came to my wedding. And I haven't talked to any of them since before the wedding. It's a issue I have to solve on my own, just like your DH.

KouklaDJP

I agree....writing in general can be taken the wrong way because you can't hear the tone you are trying to set for it. If you are determined to say something, I would suggest calling one of them and in a nice way tell them how sad you were to not see them there because you both were really looking forward to spending such a special day with them. Kill them with kindness and hopefully in return (if they have a heart) they will realize what a huge mistake they made by not showing.

I mean, did they RSVP? Did they have some kind of excuse? I'm very sorry you had to go through that Really, it's their loss for not showing up!
 
In the end, what you decide to do is up to you. Best of luck!