Choose better vendor vs. Preserving a family relationship~HELP!

Angelamco

My brother started his own photography company a couple of years ago, and he asked to take our engagement photos. While the quality of the pictures is great, we are disappointed with the the posing, atmosphere, perspective, etc. Some of the pictures are beautiful (see pictures at the bottom of my post), but most are not. We really want to use a different photographer for our January wedding, but my fiancee says it's too late to back out now. That as a guy, he would be devastated and absolutely hurt because it is his work which defines who a man is. (That's very true!) My fiancee and I would ideally want a different photographer, but we don't want to sacrifice the family relationship. By the way, I didn't ask my brother to be the photographer, he offered to do it as a gift (but we were planning on paying him anyway). What should I do?

Thanks for any advice ~ Angela

STBMrsMartin

I would tell your brother. You appreciate him offering his service, but you would really like him to enjoy the wedding as a guest and not a vendor. This is a memorable time for all family members. And it is really not fun when you are working. If he wants to take photos to build his portfolio, but you really want him to enjoy himself. Don't need to feel the pressure because you will have a photographer.

That's how I would state it.

miriellegirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-houston_choose-better-vendor-vs-preserving-family-relationshiphelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:121Discussion:df3a7ec5-ce4e-42ae-a306-ed848329a260Post:63ba3778-c61d-46b6-909f-c4f80d34d5ad">Re: Choose better vendor vs. Preserving a family relationship~HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]I would tell your brother. You appreciate him offering his service, but you would really like him to enjoy the wedding as a guest and not a vendor. This is a memorable time for all family members. And it is really not fun when you are working. If he wants to take photos to build his portfolio, but you really want him to enjoy himself. Don't need to feel the pressure because you will have a photographer. That's how I would state it.
Posted by STBMrsMartin[/QUOTE]

Great answer!

Meagan78

Exactly what PP said.  You have to live with these photos for years!  You will be so disappointed if they aren't as expected.  Maybe he could photograph some, too, if he wishes, but tell him you don't want him working.  Get the other photog first so he can't object.  Maybe say, "Because we want you to enjoy and participate fully in our day, we've gone ahead and selected a photographer who can spend the time taking photos while we enjoy time with you."

abramlett79

I agree with the others too. Maybe you could offer his info to some of the budget brides on the board? Look for posts from brides looking for budget friendly photogs and offer to email his info (make sure you get his ok first!).

If he works a few weddings before yours, he may not want to do yours and have fun instead :-)

tranjuliet

I completely agree with the answers above. I think if you stress it as more of a "this is a family event and we'd love for you to enjoy it as a guest" approach, it will go over much better.

FutureMrsRoss2010

Agree with all of the above!

MissAngel

I had to do the same thing and tell one of FI's good friends that we wanted her to be a guest and enjoy the wedding as one, and not as a working vendor.  It worked out for us and she understood.  GL!

MdniteMustang00

explain what STBMrsMartin said above.

then tell him if he just wants to shoot, you'll see if your newly hired photog is ok with him being a 2nd or 3rd shooter so that he can have plenty of time to mingle with family

cvgomez23

I agree with all of the above...  My BFF/MOH did our engagement photos for us.  She also helped us find our photographer, she knew she couldn't do them, since she is in the wedding...

Angelamco

Thank you so much for your advice. I am so grateful for this; and I like the idea of giving him the option of being a 2nd photographer if our photographer is amenable to that. Thank you. I'm so grateful to have y'alls advice and input.
~Angela