HELP- 2 families on opposite sides of the country :(

shalladancer1

Ok, so i have a lot of time to plan BUT 

My family is from NY (all of them) his is ALL from California, We live in chicago

My family has sickly members and do not really have the funds to come out here. His, well he is just being a pain in the bum n said his family will  not go for our ceremony/reception in NY. Either way his has to travel, and this way BOTH do (but mine really wont be able to and i have a veryyy large family) He said he would put money up for a van or something for transportation and help with the hotels. Still some sickly members of my family will not be able to come ie grandfather/great uncle/aunt

Is this a good idea? to have a van? another solution anyone?

I was thinking perhaps having the wedding here in chicago and ceremony (which will probably end up being most of his family.. and still have the van option.. but also doing a small party back in NY for my family? ah stressful

HELP SOLUTIONS PLEASE 

SarahPLiz

Have your wedding where you live. If they want to come, they will. Yes it will be sad if elderly guests can't attend, but I think that they will understand that they are welcome and you want them there but htey physically can't come. My grandparents can't make it to my wedding, and may not meet my FI before they pass. I can understand your situation.

Sue-n-Kevin

I'd say plan the wedding you want in Chicago, which is where you are, and it would be easier on you. If he's willing to do a van and help with those costs, fine. That way, both sides have to pay to get there and you are able to secure the best prices for what you need right at home.

If you can, see if any photographers or videographers do anything with computers & webcams. You could set up any elderly family somewhere comfortable where they could watch everything they wanted to on a computer screen. Might help ease that stress for you.

Good luck.

islandgirl88

Exactly, i agree. Have it where you are, if they can make it great, if they can't.... nothing you can do about it.

We have the same problem, we are in western Canada and my guy's family is all in the Maritimes. We decided to have it where we are.

If there are a number of people from his side who can't make it, we may try to stream the ceremony over the internet. That's something you could look into.

As for the van, i do think that is a good idea. Especially if several people are able to make the trek and may not have their own transportation available. We are considering chartering a mini bus.

rbtrumpet

I would vote for doing the wedding where you want, then doing a small receptiion in NY/CA or wherever.

I'm getting married in DC, but am having a bridal shower in MI for all my friends and family who can't make it out for the wedding.  (Calling it a shower because it is before the wedding).

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

We have family everywhere, mostly on the east coast, and we're having our wedding where we live, in California. Some family members can't make it. That's okay. We are confident in our decision.

Invite everyone you want to be there. Then it is up to them if they can make it.

aerinpegadrak

Our families are really scattered, mine more so than his, so we went with Vegas.  It's a neutral, somewhat central location that's easy for everyone to get to, and it kept the guest list conveniently small.  (Our parents weren't exactly going to ask casual acquaintances to travel for the wedding of a kid they've never met.)  It's still close enough that planning hasn't been especially complicated, and just about everyone is coming.  We're doing a live stream of the ceremony for everyone who couldn't make it.

jessicarabbit501

I had a similar issue.  Nowadays everyone's family is so scattered, it's impossible to find a location that's perfect for everyone.  I'm from my California and my extended family is there, my parents and immediate family live in VA and FI's family is in Ohio.  We're having the wedding in California because it's the easiest place for me to plan and California means a lot to FI and I (we met and fell in love there!).

Choose a location that means the mast to you and, more importantly, makes the planning the least stressful.  Don't choose a location based other people, it'll only give you a headache.  I think a Chicago wedding makes a lot of sense for the two of you. I'm assuming that's where you'll be starting your new life so it would be appropriate to invite people to your new hometown and have a wedding there.  Good luck!