NON-TRADITIONAL gap filler!

rbarndt0207

I am fairly non-traditional and do not want to have a unity candle or sand or anything that symbalizes that. But I would like something to help make my ceremony just a tad bit longer than just walking down the isle and saying our vows. I want to do something creative but I'm drawing a blank!

Queen Jane

I've heard of people doing some sort of painting. I've also heard of doing a wine box.

We are just doing the short and sweet walk and vows. Hope you find something!

Girlie1030

A special reading or song... 

We're going with short & sweet ourselves so that's about all I got.  Good luck!

kevinandmonica2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-traditional-gap-filler?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8b3c06e5-a755-480c-9af8-1f0a01377734Post:ff56db5c-92d2-4a39-9d63-3c8497e985de">NON-TRADITIONAL gap filler!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am fairly non-traditional and <strong>do not want to have a unity candle or sand or anything that symbalizes that</strong>. But I would like something to help make my ceremony just a tad bit longer than just walking down the isle and saying our vows. I want to do something creative but I'm drawing a blank!
Posted by rbarndt0207[/QUOTE]

So... you don't want to have anything that symbolizes unity as a part of your  marriage ceremony...???

That's pretty much all there is to it.... walk in... vows... unity something... walk out.

Maybe sing a song?  Break dance?  I don't know... I'm at a loss here if you don't want any symbolism of togetherness....  seems like anything else would be a little out of place in a marriage ceremony.

ETA:  There are lots of nontraditional "ceremonies" like wine, wine box, handfasting, etc.... but the root of all is symbolically celebrating the new union.

GeauxTigers17

I suggest readings or having someone sing. 

And I don't blame you on the sand/unity candle thing. My church doesn't even allow that stuff.

mommas52006

we our doing the love letter ceremony instead of the sand pour. I found it in the wedding star magazine and fell in love with the idea. you & your fiance write each other a love letter prior to the wedding(dont read each others) then you have the letters presented at the ceremony and the minister puts them in the box and you decide when to open. we chose our 5th wedding anniversary. I thought it was different and very romantic! so excited to read them in 5 years!

Audrey&Austin

We're having a couple readings as well as a hand fastening ceremony, but the hand fastening is pretty much the same symbol as a unity candle.

S0095042

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-traditional-gap-filler?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8b3c06e5-a755-480c-9af8-1f0a01377734Post:67954776-72b4-4fc7-85ad-09b29e8232e7">Re: NON-TRADITIONAL gap filler!</a>:
[QUOTE]I suggest readings ...
Posted by GeauxTigers17[/QUOTE]

this. If you don't want to do something traditional pick a poem or pors from a book...but as said in PPs the whole point of these little activies is infact a unity symbol.

laurebkraft

Oh, kevinandmonica, we have a new Queen of Snark!!! Haha, relax!

Here's what we decided for our ceremony:
One religious reading (short--to satisfy the parents)
One longer reading, a poem called "The Art of Marriage"
A meaningful song sung accoustically by a friend

And then we're considering this:
Handing out index cards to some close friends and family and asking them, at a certain point, to stand up and read them. They would either be aphorisms about marriage, advice from the reader, or a longer poem that they would all read together (we'd highlight their line). This would signify that our marriage is supported by our community of friends and family.

Finally, we've also considered the love letter ceremony, which is incredibly symbolic of unity, and gives you a time to look forward to when you'll look back on this day, years from now!

I think anything that's meaningful to you as a couple is great. The people who came up with those traditional things are long-dead and likely had very different ideas about marriage from what we have now. (Imagine still saying you'd OBEY your husband and all that other patriarical stuff.)

Good luck! Let us know what you decide!

lindsay5432

We are having a rose ceremony http://www.allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-readings.cfm?readings=Rose Ceremonies for Weddings&r=12
this site also has several other ceremony ideas.

kevinandmonica2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-traditional-gap-filler?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8b3c06e5-a755-480c-9af8-1f0a01377734Post:0293d76e-b43f-450f-bfc5-46471c7323cb">Re: NON-TRADITIONAL gap filler!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Oh, kevinandmonica, we have a new Queen of Snark!!! Haha, relax! </strong>Here's what we decided for our ceremony: One religious reading (short--to satisfy the parents) One longer reading, a poem called "The Art of Marriage" A meaningful song sung accoustically by a friend And then we're considering this: Handing out index cards to some close friends and family and asking them, at a certain point, to stand up and read them. They would either be aphorisms about marriage, advice from the reader, or a longer poem that they would all read together (we'd highlight their line). This would signify that our marriage is supported by our community of friends and family. Finally, we've also considered the love letter ceremony, which is incredibly symbolic of unity, and gives you a time to look forward to when you'll look back on this day, years from now! I think anything that's meaningful to you as a couple is great. The people who came up with those traditional things are long-dead and likely had very different ideas about marriage from what we have now. (Imagine still saying you'd OBEY your husband and all that other patriarical stuff.) Good luck! Let us know what you decide! :)
Posted by laurebkraft[/QUOTE]


Really?  Thanks!  (bows and accepts crown graciously)... ::eyeroll::

I was merely pointing out the fact that it struck me as a little odd that OP wanted no part of unity during her marriage ceremony... which... maybe I'm wrong here... I thought was the union of two beings.

The love letter ceremony, as you pointed out, is also very beautifully symbolic of unity and the hope for many happy years together.  Perhaps I read the OP incorrectly, but I thought she was very much against that sort of unity stuff.

I do agree with readings and songs... great "fillers" I guess... but if it has no deeper meaning for your or your Fi, OP, I would just skip it and not waste your time... stick with something that means something to you.... althought, personally, I don't see the problem with including something symbolizing unity in some way. 

To each his own...

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-traditional-gap-filler?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8b3c06e5-a755-480c-9af8-1f0a01377734Post:fe8df998-d8f7-44cd-a62c-8c9d811b87ff">Re: NON-TRADITIONAL gap filler!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NON-TRADITIONAL gap filler! : Really?  Thanks!  (bows and accepts crown graciously)... ::eyeroll:: I was merely pointing out the fact that it struck me as a little odd that OP wanted no part of unity during her marriage ceremony... which... maybe I'm wrong here... I thought was the union of two beings. The love letter ceremony, as you pointed out, is also very beautifully symbolic of unity and the hope for many happy years together.  Perhaps I read the OP incorrectly, but I thought she was very much against that sort of unity stuff. I do agree with readings and songs... great "fillers" I guess... but if it has no deeper meaning for your or your Fi, OP, I would just skip it and not waste your time... stick with something that means something to you.... althought, personally, I don't see the problem with including something symbolizing unity in some way.  To each his own...
Posted by kevinandmonica2011[/QUOTE]
The union is created in the vows, not the superfluous lighting of a candle (which if that is symbolic for anything, has to be put out a few minutes later...).<div>
</div><div>Op, we're writing our own vows, and are contemplating doing handfasting or the winebox thing (wine and 2 glasses, and then love notes to each other to open years later or in case of "emergency").</div>

kevinandmonica2011

Oh for the love... lol

I'm not saying that a unity candle is the only way to go (as a matter of fact, our church really isn't into that sort of - as our priest says- "hallmark stuff" anyways)... my point is- if it isn't something that involves or symbolizes "unity" or "love" or "marriage" or all that warm fuzzy stuff (like handfasting and the wine box thing symbolize also).. why include it in the ceremony as a gap filler???  Seems like a waste of time

angelsong21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-traditional-gap-filler?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8b3c06e5-a755-480c-9af8-1f0a01377734Post:12dbf464-c94f-4f0e-922a-5cbb55edf7c8">Re: NON-TRADITIONAL gap filler!</a>:
[QUOTE]we our doing the love letter ceremony instead of the sand pour. I found it in the wedding star magazine and fell in love with the idea. you & your fiance write each other a love letter prior to the wedding(dont read each others) then you have the letters presented at the ceremony and the minister puts them in the box and you decide when to open. we chose our 5th wedding anniversary. I thought it was different and very romantic! so excited to read them in 5 years!
Posted by mommas52006[/QUOTE]


I love this!  Thanks for passing along this idea.

Queen Jane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-traditional-gap-filler?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8b3c06e5-a755-480c-9af8-1f0a01377734Post:f40efd8f-8c18-4d8b-8d61-07a9c8fc2400">Re: NON-TRADITIONAL gap filler!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh for the love... lol I'm not saying that a unity candle is the only way to go (as a matter of fact, our church really isn't into that sort of - as our priest says- "hallmark stuff" anyways)... my point is- if it isn't something that involves or symbolizes "unity" or "love" or "marriage" or all that warm fuzzy stuff (like handfasting and the wine box thing symbolize also).. why include it in the ceremony as a gap filler ???  Seems like a waste of time
Posted by kevinandmonica2011[/QUOTE]

I get what you were saying, but your first post did kind sound like you thought something needed to be placed in the ceremony to represent unity. Probably when you said <strong>"That's pretty much all there is to it.... walk in... vows... unity something... walk out." </strong>So I am speculating (not speking for!) that Ghoti's response about the vows was because of that.
<strong>
</strong>As someone only doing the walk in, vows & ring exchange, walk out, it raised an eyebrow, but I otherwise agree with you (as usual).

kevinandmonica2011

Queen-  I definitely see what you mean.  Should have been more clear and written
walk in... vows... rings (if you are doing them).... unity something (if you choose)... walk out.

It got totally discombobulated.  Lol.  I think (eventually) people got what I meant.... I just can't think of any appropriate filler or fluff that doesn't have something to do with unity and love.  Doing the simple walk in/rings/vows/get the heck outta there sounds great (and I would love LOVE to do this, but we decided to go with a full Catholic mass)... and way more appropriate then adding in extra meaningless nonsense just to take up time.  If the candles, wine, letters, etc mean something to the couple- awesome... if not, skip it.

Thanks for pointing that out... def not the best way to word it.

kevinandmonica2011

Hmm.... I can certainly give the no sarcasm a shot.    boo.