Texas-Austin

must we have a groomscake?

??  My FI doesn't want one.  We're trying to cut costs but should we cut in other areas?  Would it look bad to his OOT family if we didn't have a grooms cake?  They're all from the south so, if you think regionally, they might be expecting one?  Whats the ettiquette on this?

Re: must we have a groomscake?

  • edited December 2011
    You definitely don't have to have one. We chose to have Amy's ice cream in lieu of one and it was pretty cheap. I definitely don't think anyone would look down on it - just make sure there's enough bride's cake for everyone and you're good! :)
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Victrola.
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  • edited December 2011
    We're not having cake at all, soooo - I say yes. : ) Actually, we are doing mini fruit tarts for the 'groom's cake' and then having either mini cupcakes or cake balls for wedding cake along with our candy & cookie buffet.
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  • genevasully90genevasully90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's a must. We're just doing my cake...but then again we only have about 75 guests. If you don't do a grooms cake, just make sure you have enough cake for everyone with just yours. GL!
  • edited December 2011
    a lot of people don't do groomscakes anymore- you may consider some chocolate covered strawberries or something or just have a big enough regular cake. I doubt anyone will even notice!
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  • julianelsjulianels member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    THX! I get some weird looks when I respond we're not having one to the what -flavor- is your -groomscake- going -to -be -question.  So just curious.Thx again
  • atlanticatlantic member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'd never even heard of a groom's cake until we got engaged in texas!  We had choc chip cookies and milk (husband's favorite) and it was great!  And it did also happen to be less expensive.  THe caterer supplied the milk but my mom just got the cookies at costco or sam's.
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  • edited December 2011
    My FI doesn't like cake (or most desserts... just ice cream.  I know, he's a freak of nature.) so we're prob going to do a gelato bar.  Having some treats in lieu of a groom's cake is sort of still having a groom's cake, though.  I really wouldn't think anything of not having anything at all, though.  It's mostly a Southern tradition.
  • edited December 2011
    Oh I just reread your post.  If they're all Southern, then they are probably expecting *something*... I've never been to a Southern wedding that didn't have something sweet for the groom.  But maybe you could just explain that half your wedding cake is a flavor he picked our something.  That should keep 'em quiet.
  • sweetscarletsweetscarlet member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We might do pies in lieu of a groomscake. However, if we don't get moving on that soon, we won't have anything "groomy" and we're totally fine with that. (Granted, I'm from NY and the first and only time I ever heard about a grooms cake before I moved down here was in Steel Magnolias ;)
  • edited December 2011
    I am not from the south and neither is my FI. We both love desert and wanted to do something that represented him. So we are going to try and do a cake that has a layer of my favorite flavor and layer that is his. That way we are not buying two cakes but he can still have what he loves too! I totally don't think you have to have a grooms cake though. It is fun if you can afford it but if you are like us, ehhh whatever! Have fun and do something else!
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  • edited December 2011
    I have had at least 5 people seriously freak on on me when they found out we were not having a traditional wedding cake. I am from the midwest so before TX I had never heard of things like a grooms cake or Bridal photos...just think that if you did what everynone expected you to do at your wedding then it would be like every other wedding they have ever been to. If you are super traditional and that's what you want then do it, but if not then who cares what everyone else thinks of it.
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  • lotusbrendalotusbrenda member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are not having a groomscake either, but FI is 100% involved in choosing the flavors/decoration of OUR cake.  I have to agree with everyone else - this is your wedding, and it doesn't matter what other people think unless they are paying for a certain piece.
  • jupiter2311jupiter2311 member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PPs, we didn't have a groom's cake, we don't even like cake and weren't going to have one at all, but my mom insisted - fine. We had a gelato bar instead of groom's cake and I don't think anyone gave it a second thought. I like the idea of doing something different.

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  • julianelsjulianels member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeh, I'm not big on cake...FI isn't big on sweets period.  I always associate cake with birthday cake...so my wedding cake obviously isn't a big priority.  Yeh, and since when did the wedding cake become the brides so much so that men had to get their own grooms cake?I mean when we registered we registered together. thats not my deal it is our deal...but people are insisting it is mine...oook. whatevs. But i digress.
  • edited December 2011
    We're also not doing a groom's cake. Like suggested already, he picked the flavor for half of our cake, and I picked the other flavor.
  • edited December 2011
    Nope. You don't have to have one. We weren't going to, but our guest list grew, and I decided to go ahead and surprise FI with one since we need more cake anyway. :)
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  • erin&andyerin&andy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Like everyone else said - you totally don't have to have one! My FI is Indian so they don't know what a grooms cake is.  We're just doing Indian sweets in lieu of that.
  • edited December 2011
    Both FI and I are southern, but neither of us like cake, so we're not having any cake, but other desserts instead like creme brulee and chocolate mousse.  I've been told that my guests will expect that I have a cake, but if I planned my wedding based on my guests expectations, then it wouldn't be about FI and me at all.  Hopefully they'll think that the alternative desserts are so much better than cake that they won't even notice or care!
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