Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

would this be hurtful?

So I wanted to have my grandmother walk me down the aisle. She is probably my closest family member aside from my sister,  and my father and i have a slightly troubled relationship, we love one another very much but he hasnt always been there. for the past few years it has improved but i lived with my grandmother for six years and i havent lived with my dad since i was 13. I would also still be having the father daughter dance. Do you think that my dad will be crushed by having my grandmother walk me down the aisle? since there is no other place to really honor my grandmother and he still has the father daughter song? also since none of my grand parents are left except her so she would have to walk down the aisle alone anyway?
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Re: would this be hurtful?

  • and i probably wont check this until morning so dont be offended if i dont get back to you. :D

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  • I have no idea if your dad will be hurt or not. It's fine to ask your grandmother, though. He'll still have his father-daughter dance, though, so it's not like he'll have nothing special with you.
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  • naomikbnaomikb member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited February 2012
    You can have anyone you like walk you down the aisle.  I think your grandmother sounds quite suitable, it sounds like you are really close and she is special to you.

    You know your dad best and will know the best way to navigate this conversation with him - he will likely be disappointed, but you can tell him you would be thrilled to do the father-daughter dance with him, and perhaps let him choose the song.
  • It may disappoint him but perhaps you could do the dance with him as a PP suggested?

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  • I am guessing he would be hurt, but you know him best and it is your day.

  • It might hurt his feelings but at the same time it might open his eyes to his relationship with his daughter and he might step up his game.

    I would try to schedule a lunch date or even talk to him on the phone and just sweetly let him know that your g-ma will be walking you down the aisle but you would like to have a special dance with him.  Maybe on the day of the wedding get him a gift that is a picture of you two when you were little and a little poem so that he knows you still love him.
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  • What if they both walked you down the aisle?
  • i cant have both of them walk me down the aisle, my mother would flip out and her and i do not have a good relationship. 
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  • If you wanted both of them to walk you then who cares what your mother thinks. Its not her day. I say let your grandma walk you and do the dance with your dad
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