To stand or not to stand

bfuller1085

So, my ceremony and reception are at the same location (with the ceremony being outside). The grounds have a beautiful gazebo but take no responsibility for the ceremony so Im on my own with ordering seating for my guests. However, if it rains, the ceremony will be moved inside to my reception room. So I guess Im nervous about order $300+ in chairs if it rains (my weddings in May). Plus I wouldnt know how many to order as I'm inviting 175 people but I know not everyone comes to the ceremony. I had it suggested to me that I have seating for parents, grandparents and old individuals and leave the rest to stand (the ceremony will only be 15-20 min). Im not sure how I feel about this idea. Any thoughts???

bfuller1085

I thought about ordering a tent, but again for a 15 min ceremony Im reluctant to spend that much money as I have a very limited budget

alecat9

I think you need to provide seating for everybody. Even though the cermony is relatively short, people arrive early and standing for almost an hour can be pretty uncomfortable. I also don't understand why people would be coming to the reception but not the ceremony; thats the important part of the day. I don't think you need to order double the number of chairs as guests but make sure you at least have a few extras.

jagore08

I wouldn't even think about ordering a tent  because you already have a backup plan but I would get seats.  Talk to the rental company and see what they have to say for how many you should plan on for seating.

trix1223

Asking 175 people to stand for your ceremony is, I'm sorry to say, a terrible idea.  You say that the ceremony is only 15-20 minutes.  That's YOUR portion.  Let me give you the guest's timeline.

I'm a church organist, so here goes:  your guests will begin arriving anywhere from 20-30 minutes before the ceremony begins.  It is the very, very rare wedding that actually begins on time.  Let's be charitable and say you start 10 minutes late. 

So now your guests have been standing for 40 minutes, and the ceremony hasn't even begun yet.  Now comes the ceremony.  Processional/recessional will add about 5 minutes to the ceremony, so let's say 20-25 minutes.

Now your guests will stand in line for the receiving line if you have one, or in live to get into the reception room.  Let's add another 15 minutes.

You have now had your guests standing for 1 hour and 20 minutes.  Outside.  In heels.

Let's see whatyou think.  Go put on heels and stand in one place in your front yard for an hour.  How are you feeling about chairs now?

And we haven't even addressed the issue that NO ONE standing behind the front row will be able to see anything.  My 5'2" sister standing behind your FI's 6' college buddy won't see the ceremony.

I did not see my niece dance with my BIL at her reception because that part was done in a different spot and everyone had to stand for it.  I'm tall.  I was behind taller people.  I missed the whole thing.

And finally, let's address the issue of saving seats for "certain" guests.  My DD had serious surgery in January.  From outward appearances, she was young, vibrant and healthy.  She also could not stand for more than 5 minutes.

 So at your wedding, would she leave because she couldn't stand?  Would she endure the glares of people who saw a beautiful, young and apparently healthy young woman taking seats reserved for "old individuals"? 

And I can tell you that my 89 year old dad would collapse to the ground before he'd stay seated with a woman standing near him.

Please, have chairs for your guests.  A good host considers the comfort of her guests.  If you can't afford chairs, move your ceremony to a place where everyone can sit down.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_stand-not-stand?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:94d6199f-ebec-446e-ad23-77cfbafad985Post:fe159a44-cc71-4e6e-8325-b84b715f3597">To stand or not to stand</a>:
[QUOTE]So, my ceremony and reception are at the same location (with the ceremony being outside). The grounds have a beautiful gazebo but take no responsibility for the ceremony so Im on my own with ordering seating for my guests. However, if it rains, the ceremony will be moved inside to my reception room. So I guess Im nervous about order $300+ in chairs if it rains (my weddings in May). Plus I wouldnt know how many to order as I'm inviting 175 people but I know not everyone comes to the ceremony. I had it suggested to me that I have seating for parents, grandparents and old individuals and leave the rest to stand (the ceremony will only be 15-20 min). Im not sure how I feel about this idea. Any thoughts???
Posted by bfuller1085[/QUOTE]

danieliza1127

If you invite 175, order 175 chairs but make sure that the rental company will allow you to adjust the numbers when you have a final headcount.  That's how most venues work and I'm sure the chair rental place will work with you on that, as I'm sure it won't be their first wedding.

Muffin'sMom

Order the chairs...it's the right thing to do for everyone and your guests will appreciate it. 

quotequeen

I have had to stand at the last two ceremonies I attended and I HATE it.  Even if you think your ceremony is short, people will get there early, and you might not start on time, so people will be standing longer than you think.  And even if it's a short time, it's still uncomfortable, especially in heels.  Plus you don't know who might need a seat for reasons you are unaware of.

Honestly, I was barely listening to the ceremonies because I was thinking about how much I hated having to stand and how uncomfortable I was.

aerinpegadrak

We figured that people would sit around our reception room, then gather and stand to watch the ceremony.  Nope!  Everyone preferred to stay seated further away than to stand and get a better view.

I'm only 24, but having to stand in place for more than about 10 minutes gets painful.  You can never tell who really, really needs a chair.

kpwedkk

And what about the kids? You expect them to stand for that long?  Or be up in their parent's arms crying the whole time?

Get the chairs, and negotiate with your rental company to give a final headcount the week of your wedding!

bfuller1085

Haha thanks everyone. I really did think it was a bit ridiculous to have people stand but the idea was thrown out there by a friend of mine and made me think I was being stupid by not considering it.

bfuller1085

And there are no kids...for those who mentioned it. Way too many between the families and we dont want to deal with it.

open0rclosed

I agree with PPs- please don't have them stand!

shoegal715

EVERYONE should get a chair! 

Ashes_3

where i live some church's and groups will let you borrow there chairs, you might ask around and save alot of money that way.

schadbourne

i personally think standing is fine.....

as long as you have seating for the elderly....

...but maybe it is because i work in retail and stand for 5 to 8 hours at a time, so standing 15, 20 or an hour is not a big deal

I have been toying with the idea of having mismatched wooden chairs for the parents and grandparents at the front of the ceremony area and benches for the remaining guests, long wooden benches for everyone else. Next time you are at walmart flip through the august issue of Brides and see the benches that were created for a bride featured in the magizine.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_stand-not-stand?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:94d6199f-ebec-446e-ad23-77cfbafad985Post:9e6ffeb4-3792-44be-a485-b5964527050e">Re: To stand or not to stand</a>:
[QUOTE]i personally think standing is fine..... as long as you have seating for the elderly  <font color="#ff0000">Did you read ANY of the posts with reasons why seating for the "elderly" is a bad, bad idea?  Because there are people all around who are NOT elderly who can't stand for any length of time.  And there are people, like my 89 year old dad, who simply would never sit if a lady was standing.
</font>
.... ...but maybe it is because i work in retail and stand for 5 to 8 hours at a time, so standing 15, 20 or an hour is not a big deal <font color="#ff0000"> I'd venture to say that most guests don't work retail so they don't have your "stamina".  And when you work retail, I assume that you're not standing behind someone who is blocking your view of your customer.  Because that's what happened at my niece's wedding during the f/d dance.  I was behind someone at least 8" taller than me.  I missed the whole thing.</font>

 I have been toying with the idea of having mismatched wooden chairs for the parents and grandparents at the front of the ceremony area and benches for the remaining guests, long wooden benches for everyone else. <font color="#ff0000">Benches are seating.  If you're providing benches, then you ARE having seating for your guests.  Seating doesn't have to be individual chairs.</font>

Next time you are at walmart flip through the august issue of Brides and see the benches that were created for a bride featured in the magizine.
Posted by schadbourne[/QUOTE]

schadbourne

no i have not read posts about seating whoever i dont spend my life on these boards....i dont go by traditional guidlines either, so please chill out with your bold, red, font, I was only giving my opinion which is exactly what the person wants. It doesn't matter what anyone says its her decision to make and she shouldnt make it based on a bench of strangers who are not going to her wedding. 

renting chairs = a lot of money

making benches = a little recyled wood and some hard work cheap sheets for covers.....pretty inexpensive

and really if most people cannot stand for 20 minutes they are lazy......

but of course spend 3, 4, 8 bucks on chairs, you cannot let your guests suffer!!!!

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_stand-not-stand?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:94d6199f-ebec-446e-ad23-77cfbafad985Post:3cd50ea6-411a-4671-b762-ac6033ef39f9">Re: To stand or not to stand</a>:
[QUOTE]no i have not read posts about seating whoever i dont spend my life on these boards....i dont go by traditional guidlines either, so please chill out with your bold, red, font, I was only giving my opinion which is exactly what the person wants. It doesn't matter what anyone says its her decision to make and she shouldnt make it based on a bench of strangers who are not going to her wedding.  renting chairs = a lot of money making benches = a little recyled wood and some hard work cheap sheets for covers.....pretty inexpensive and really if most people cannot stand for 20 minutes they are lazy...... but of course spend 3, 4, 8 bucks on chairs, you cannot let your guests suffer!!!!
Posted by schadbourne[/QUOTE]
If you're not going to read any of the posts that came before, don't bother commenting, because it's unproductive to the conversation.  Seriously, if you can't be bothered to read the other ten posts on this page, no one cares what you have to say.

Had you bothered to read any of the other posts, you would see that 1) a 20 minute ceremony usually leads to guests standing upwards of an hour, and 2) lots of people have medical issues which make standing in place for any period of time uncomfortable or even painful.  I'm 24 and have bad knees, and if you told me to my face that being unable to stand in place makes me lazy, I'd knock you on your ass without hesitation.

Grow the hell up.

luckyme502

Asking people to stand for your ceremony is rude.  They are your guests and should be treated as such.

schadbourne

haha you are a funny, very funny

bfuller good luck with your decision!

bfuller1085

So is there anyway to delete this whole post b/c Ive given my response to the initial reactions and now Im just getting annoyed. Some of you are calling me rude and yet have nothing but rude responses to me and others posting on here. Trix and Aerin...you guys are the worst. Do NOT hop on my post and use it to bash other users. You two are the most rude people Ive encountered on here. I asked for an opinion and Schad gave it. BACK OFF. This is still my wedding and I will do as I see fit. Your comments are "unproductive to the conversation" Being a bride does not mean you rule the world. You are NOT the sht. Dont act like it....certainly not on my post.