vent vent venty vent

dance0621

I'm about to do some serious baby whining - do forgive me.We got engaged last December. We originally talked about getting married in July - as in the one that just passed. Decided that wasn't going to fit in our schedules so talked about September. Decided we both needed time to settle into our new jobs (that were starting mid August) so September would be too stressful. He brought up December. Now he doesn't want to do it then either.I understand that neither July nor September were the right time for us. I understand that right now it is more important to be saving to buy a house than to be unloading tons of money on a wedding. But I didn't want to unload the money in the first place. I would be perfectly happy with just doing it at the court house. But he doesn't want to just do it at the court house, he wants to have family and friends for a few thousand dollar wedding. {I am impressed with the fact that I've been able to price things out to get us in around 3,000 given the average cost of an american wedding. And I would be happy to talk to our parents and figure out a way to get it all paid for. But he, who is the one who doesn't want to do it the cheap way, also doesn't want to spend the money it would take to do it the non cheap way.} I just don't get it.I'm beginning to think that I'm never going to get married...which would be fine with me...if he hadn't proposed...Sorry this got to be soooo long. It's good that I can come here and vent...thanks ladies.

Steven&Jamie

That has got to be frustrating!  You may not be looking for advice, so if not just ignore me but I suggest having a "come to Jesus" meeting with your FI.  Explain to him that it would be much easier to save if you have a date you're saving for...you sort of need a goal in order to know how much time you have to save, right?  Personally, it would make me feel like he isn't taking the engagement seriously if he isn't willing to settle on a date.  Remind him that HE is the one proposed...The reasons for ruling out July and Sept. make sense, but what now?  And if he is so set on spending all this $$, then he needs to be willing to pitch in.  Sorry you're dealing with this, I hope you two have a good talk about this and get things sorted out.

MKStar

dance - Let him know how you feel about the situation. You should be able to meet in the middle. Not that this is your situation but I feel like I should tell you any way. I was with someone for 10 years. I thought I love him and the marriage thing just never panned out. I prayed and prayed and prayed that we would get married and it just never seemed to be able to happen because of the money and things like you mentioned. Come to find out he was crazy, seriously crazy. Now I give a "big ups" to Jesus every day that I did not end up marrying him. I met the greatest guy ever and learned what love should really feel like. I am not saying thats your situation but I do think that sometimes things DONT happen for a reason. Talk it out with him and see what you both feel should come from the proposal.