New Jersey - South

AVOID Here Comes the Bride in Somers Point, NJ

Donna, the woman in charge at Here Comes the Bride, refused to sell me a dress because I am gay. 

After spending a day trying on dresses with my family and friends, she called me to say that she didn't realize I was gay and would not work with me because that's "wrong."  She also said she was shocked because my family and I seemed so nice, and that my being gay is a "shame."  Then, presumably to counter my accusation of discrimination, she said that what I am doing is illegal and she does not engage in illegal activity.  I guess she is unaware that civil unions are legal in NJ (where her store is) and same-sex marriage is legal in NY (where I am getting married), and that anyone should be able to buy a wedding dress if they'd like, even if they're single and just want to dress up at home by themselves.  

Please do not support this bigot. She is a rude, judgmental, self-righteous homophobe, and from what I've read in other reviews, her bigotry does not stop at gay people.  Her listing on Merchant Circle has complaints of racism, ageism, and other forms of degradation and harassment. 

Re: AVOID Here Comes the Bride in Somers Point, NJ

  • Musicheals71Musicheals71
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    Wow, you should report her to the BBB!  Also, post a review on www.weddingwire.com.

    If you need a dress shop recommendation, I highly recommend Wedding Belles in Northfield.  Very nice, very helpful!
  • Kim84mKim84m
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Wow. I am so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for posting this. I feel awful I have recommended this woman before. Never again. I'm so sorry.
    .
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you, guys.  It's very upsetting, but it makes me feel a little better to read other reviews that say she's racist, ageist, and all around rude and crazy.  So it's not just me.  Too bad I found an amazing dress for super cheap there!  Oh well, I will have to find it somewhere else and mail her a picture of me giving her the finger. 
  • reliartreliart
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    That is awful!! I agree with PP, the best way to make her understand how outdated and offensive her behavior is is to keep doing what you are doing - use the internet to make others aware of her attitude. Here, wedding wire and any other places she is listed and you can post a review - do it! I bet she does not realize how many straight ladies will boycott her store in solidarity with our gay counterparts. I will not patronize any company that I know to be homophobic or discriminatory.

    I hope you do better at your next shop!!! 
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  • Amerbutt81Amerbutt81
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
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    edited December 2011
    I just read an article about your situation and I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry you had to go through this.  The things the woman had to say is just appalling and it makes my heart hurt.

    I hope you are able to find the dress of your dreams and wish you nothing but the best on your upcoming wedding!!
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    edited December 2011
    I saw the article this morning as well and was going to post it up here on this board!  I hope you are able to find your dream dress again at a shop were they do not discriminate! 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: AVOID Here Comes the Bride in Somers Point, NJ:
    Oh well, I will have to find it somewhere else and mail her a picture of me giving her the finger. 
    Posted by ag2035

    High-Five!
    .. Also, sorry to hear about your experience.  The owner deserves the bad press she's getting from this and I hope it ruins her business.

  • CvilleClaireCvilleClaire
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    I first heard about this on Wedding Bee and have been enjoying the "reviews" that are being posted on Yelp and Google.

    Donna Saber is the woman's full name.  Check this review out:
    This place CLAIMS 21 years same owner.. IT IS A LIE!!! This place was SOLD in 2008 and is owned by a DONNA SABER, The original owner SOLD this store and has NOTHING to do with it. She also advertises that she is a BBB member, SHE IS NOT!!! I checked with them and she is NOT a member.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm glad to see that others are as outraged as I am. I have posted your story to Facebook and gave them a bad review on YELP. I hope others will do the same. Until people are exposed for their bigotry, it won't go away. Alix, best of luck to you!
  • edited December 2011
    I am so so sorry to see someone have to go through something like this! Love is love, no matterwhat form it comes in. Just take heart in the fact that the woman probably doesn't understand or know half of what it means to love and be loved like you do. I hope that you can find your dress somewhere else and I wish you and your fiancee luck in your upcoming marriage!!
  • Musicheals71Musicheals71
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    I posted your article link to my FB page, ag.  I want to help you spread the word!
  • Laurie109Laurie109
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    OMG! I had an appointment scheduled for yesterday there before the story broke!! I DID NOT PURCHASE MY  GOWN THERE - I actually ordered mine from Wedding Belles Boutique in Northfield last night. It's a beautiful shoppe and the owners are so nice - please go there! They WILL take care of you. I had a great experience...they procure gown for ALL brides!
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  • edited December 2011

    Ag, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for this woman's ignorance and utter hatred. 

    This news is spreading like WILDFIRE all over.  I'm pretty sure dear Donna isn't going to be in business for much longer.  Social media is a powerful thing. 

    I also wanted to tell you good luck with your amazing wedding.  I'm sure everything is going to be absolutely gorgeous. And know that you will ALWAYS get support here. 

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  • ConKFA319ConKFA319
    500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Ag, I read about this today on FB and I was appalled. I can't believe that you were treated that way, both as a customer, and more importantly, as a human being. What you do with the dress you buy is your business and no one else's - you could marry a guy, a girl, a cow (if that was legal), you could wear it for Halloween - who cares? She sucks. She sucks a lot. And that's about the nicest thing I can say about her right now.

    I know you will find the perfect dress for you, at a shop that values you for you, and that is just as excited to help you find your dream dress as you are to wear it. Have a beautiful wedding, and please PIP when you find that dress!
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  • K&J64K&J64
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Ag, that woman is a horrible bigot, sorry you had to deal with her. Thank you for sharing your story and spreading the word that she illegally discriminates against customers in her shop. People are talking about it all over facebook and TK, it's disgusting.

    I know North Jersey is a little out of the way, but my wife and I both got out gowns at Park Ave Bridal in Verona. They were amazing, completely gay friendly and even helped us both try on dresses at the same time without catching glimpses of each other in any dresses. If you want to make the trip give them a call and ask for Patty or Amanda - they're spectacular. Best of luck with the rest of your planning - if you need any recommendations for other gay friendly vendors PM me. And congratulations - I hope the rest of this process if a joyful one for you both!

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  • BMcLeodTeamBMcLeodTeam
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    Ag, I am from Canada and so not local, but I wanted to stop in for a moment to show you my support, as well as to tell you I will definitely be spreading the word to all my American friends to make sure that NO ONE gives business to this woman! What she did to you was completely uncalled for!

    You will find that perfect dress, and your day will be the fairy tale you deserve! It sounds like you have a great reference on here for gay friendly vendors!

    As I said, just a word of support from an openly Bi bride in Canada :)
  • gmcr78gmcr78
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2011
    I'm horrified.  I'm posting this on the Delaware board, also.  I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
  • edited December 2011
    She broke NJ law in refusing to serve me and discriminating against me based on my sexual orientation.  She also said very hurtful things that are inappropriate during discussions regarding a business transaction.  Furthermore, if you look at reviews on Yelp of others who have visited her store, she has lied to customers, made mistakes on orders, and displayed prejudice and discrimination far beyond gay people (i.e. African Americans, women above a certain age, non-Americans).  Do you really want to defend this person?  
  • edited December 2011
    First of all I want to say I am so sorry this happened. I know I had my own issues with Bridal Shops, My wedding planner told us that she has offered to do your flowers with " The Team Alix Group " ON Facebook, I just had my wedding a few weeks ago , Everything was perfect. 

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    Abby and Eric.
  • edited December 2011
    Sorry this happened, but it's so heartening to see the response you've gotten to this, here and elsewhere! The tide is turning, finally!
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