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Picking a date?

prodigalgirlprodigalgirl member
First Comment
in Military Brides
Ok... I'm not engaged yet.  We have a timeline.  He'll be proposing at the beginning of next year and then we'll be getting married when he gets back from his deployment.  But, all this talk about getting married that we've been having lately has brought up a question in my mind.

We want to get married when he's back from his deployment, but how do we go about choosing a date when everything is so undetermined?
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Re: Picking a date?

  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    A) Don't plan a wedding till you are engaged.  That has nothing to do with military life, it's just a basic guideline.  Why doesn't he just propose now? (I digress, that's a whole other topic)
    B) You may have to hold off on picking a date till he has a better idea of his schedule. 
    C) Make your plans as flexible as possible.  Try to get military clauses in your contracts that let you change dates if needed. 
    D) Don't make the date for as soon as he gets home, his return could be delayed for multiple reasons.  You didn't say which branch he is in.  If it's a combat deployment he may need some time to adjust when he gets back. 
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  • catemegcatemeg
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Everything mysticl said.  Wait until you're engaged, and then set your wedding date for at least several months after the estimated return date.  I have heard that holiday weekends are the best since it is much more likely he will have the time off.

    Try Memorial Day weekend, or 4th of July, or Thanksgiving, or New Years.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Based on my personal experience I would advise that you don't make assumptions about holiday weekends.  I think that has alot to do with their specific job and where they are stationed.  My FI had to report for 48 hours straight over Memorial Day weekend this year.  From noon on Friday till noon on Monday.  We only had a couple days maybe a weeks notice that was going to be his schedule.  So if we had scheduled the wedding and he hadn't put in for leave based on assuming that he would be off we wouldn't have been able to have the wedding.  By that same token don't assume that weekends are days off.  We went through several months were he only had every 3rd weekend off and that was just 48hours off.  He would get off work at 6am Saturday and have to be back at 6am Monday. 
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  • Luke&Sam625Luke&Sam625
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Deployment dates change... Keep that in mind.. Listen to these Ladies.. They're quite smart!! As a service member, I know first hand how flimsy return dates are.. I was detained by 3 weeks and had to pay for my lodging out of my own pocket...enough about me. My FI and I chose the Holiday route. Most commands will have a set Holiday leave period where as long as you put your dates in by a certain time you're ALMOST guaranteed leave. But at the same time my FI is currently stationed in Japan and while at first they promised him he could take as much leave as he had saved up for our honeymoon, but now they are saying he can only have a week. Beware of "Sea lawyers" People who say they "know" things. Best of luck!!
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  • catemegcatemeg
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, nothing's ever certain, but you're MORE LIKELY to be given leave over holidays as there are more soldiers that are allowed to take leave at that time.  But definitely be sure and get military clauses in every contract so that you don't lose your deposit if you have to change the date.
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  • shan87shan87
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We picked the holiday route. Next Memorial Day Wknd. Although he will still have to ask for leave he is hoping with the holiday he wont have to request for as much as if it wasn't a holiday weekend. (I hope that makes sense?? )

    I would recommend not getting ahead of yourself and wait for the actual proposal and ring. I understand it doesn't hurt to brainstorm but don't get ahead of yourself.
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  • BreezyWarnerBreezyWarner
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    chick a dee...im on the same boat =/Yell

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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_picking-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:09265219-47f4-4d8c-9ead-dd6576c58686Post:3fd08e61-980d-4c3f-84eb-f4d0eba851d1">Re: Picking a date?</a>:
    [QUOTE]chick a dee...im on the same boat =/
    Posted by BreezyWarner[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hi Breezy. Congrats on your engagement. Since that's your real name, I'd advise getting a new SN. Lots of nuts on TK.</div>
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  • BreezyWarnerBreezyWarner
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Breezy is my nickname thank you...
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