Picking a wedding date and hoping the groom can make it!

al0604

My fiancé is currently deployed and we are planning to have our wedding the month he gets back. But he is stationed in Hawaii so he must fly there first then fly to Texas for his leave! But how can I plan this wedding when we can never really be sure about deployment dates! He is supposed to be there 12 months but this is the military! Anyone having to do the same?? Suggestions Please!

calindi

You can't know for sure, unfortunately.  Give him plenty of wiggle room (several months after the deployment is supposed to be over is best, not the same month).  I'd say the fact that he's getting back that month makes it super risky that he'll even be allowed leave.  Can you push it back 3-4 months?

And be sure to get vendor contracts with a military clause, indicating that if at any point his commitment to the military prevents him from attending the wedding on that date, that the vendor will transfer the deposit to another mutually agreeable date.  This way you won't lose any money if you have to change the date - there may be 1 or 2 vendors who can't do the rescheduled date, like if your priority is keeping the same venue but the caterer has weddings booked on the days the venue is available.  But at least you won't lose ALL your deposits!

shan87

I would also wait a couple months after a deployment. I haven't had experience but I know its very fluid and can change multiple times often with little to no notice.

If there is a national holiday around that time I would plan for then.

Unfortunately thats all I have. but I HTH!

Alice and Les

I have had a similar problem. Like they mentioned Military Clauses are really important when booking the venue or vendors.
My FI will be deployed during our orignial date so we had to move our wedding date. The military clause saved us from losing several thousand dollars.

josefsangel11

My fiance' is stationed in Afghanistan and will come home in September via Germany. I have scheduled the wedding for 2 months later so hopefully it will be fine. I am emailing info to him and then waiting for his response before I make the big decisions. Nice to see someone else is as frustrated as i am. The date have to be set and the location before you can do anything else! Good luck

calindi

Josefsangel - that's a bit too much information.  Read up on OPSEC - we shouldn't know where his unit is, and especially not what route they're coming home.  "This fall" is specific enough.  Okay?  Click edit and change some of those details to be a bit more vague, please, for the safety of your guy and those stationed with him.

baileyla001Wed131122

I'm in a similar situation as well, trying to plan our wedding this summer after DF gets home from deployment and in the middle of flight school so it's been a pain! However, this is what I have found has helped us.
We decided to go with a weekday wedding that way when we were told a (possible) timeframe, our venue of choice would more than likely have availability.  
We also decided to go with a venue that has a caterer on site that way it would be one less vendor to deal with and one less contract.
I bought my dress and put a rush even though we were planning for an end of summer wedding. Even though the rush wasn't necessary I paid for it anyways in case we guessed wrong on when we'd be able to set a date. Sure enough it got moved up by nearly a month.
I am also going through Safeway (it's similar to a Kroger’s for those of you on the east coast) for all of our flowers, not only do they do weddings, but they're much, much cheaper than a florist and they only need you to place your order a month before the big day!
I figured out all of the decor early on, that way it was one less thing to figure out on a short time frame.
Yes having a military clause written into every contract is important, but realistically the chances of all of your vendors being available for a new date that you’re DF can actually make it to is very slim. (This is where planning on having the wedding on a M-TH date allows more flexibility) Personally I'm not comfortable putting down so much money in deposits unless we're ALMOST positive that the date will work. Yes it is the military and things are never truly set in stone, but there is a difference between blinding setting a date and planning it out.

I know a lot of these things may not be the most ideal, but it’s a lot less stressful if you can make yourself more flexible. Plus it’s better than planning the perfect dream wedding just to be told that your DF won’t be able to make it and have to start all over.

Good luck to you! I hope it all goes well and you don't have too many difficulties!

al0604

Thanks y'all! We will most likely push it toward the end of his leave, stationed in Hawaii doesn't really allow us to wait a few months bc that's more time we have to be apart and plane tickets to Hawaii are way to expensive! I'm glad to hear about the military clause though!

calindi

Some vendors won't do the military contract - but I wouldn't want to work with those vendors, anyway!!!

Good luck!!!